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  1. #11
    blue is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by hbridge View Post
    First off, go easy on yourself. You did NOT cause any of this, it is part of who your son is and that is okay. They have already said he is mostly doing fine academically...

    Definitely meet with everyone and ask a LOT of questions about retention and you options. I always start with my pediatrician, but also find out if the school has a plan! Are there creative classrooms, for example a multi-age class that he can join that would mask the retention or another school in the district that he can attend for a year or two to mask the retention? In the district I use to work in, retention was RARE and the parents usually had to be in agreement. So definitely ask questions and get involved in the decision. In the end, you may agree with the schools recommendation, you may not.

    Honestly, with this background info., push for an IEP! There is more going on with the fine motor that the school needs to address with both interventions and accomodations. If the school has not already done testing, make a formal request in writing that you want full testing (I don't know how to word it, but the pediatrician may).

    As a side note, we have a friend who was retained in first and the mother says it was the best decision she made. The child is thriving with the additional time.

    He WILL be okay no matter what you decide.
    I am trying to go easy on myself, really just frustrated I feel I failed to advicate/push for help to happen faster (of course also didn't know it was to the point of possible retention)...I will ask about combined grade classes (ds1 does really well with older kids). I actually asked about an IEP from the teacher after I heard what she said. She stated the window for doing IEP testing/qualifying is closed this year (I never knew there was a time limit). DS1 has an appointment with his therapist tomorrow, I plan on hashing a lot of this out with her.......on a positive note I guess, a new elementary school is being build and will open next year. We are in the new district boundaries and DS1 well attend the new school..down side he had two female cousins born in the same month as him that will be going into 1st
    ...had anyone else held/suggested they hold back your kid for a grade? What was your experience with it? Thank you
    DS1
    DS2
    DD1

  2. #12
    hbridge is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    This window for testing that the teacher spoke of is probably for teacher referrals... If the parents request testing, they have a set timeframe in which they have to do the testing. This may vary by state, but it is definitely worth a try. Write the letter requesting testing and see what happens. I am sure there are samples online or your service providers (pediatricians, therapists, ect.) can probably help.

  3. #13
    sste is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Do not retain him. It is generally a mistake to do so and there is no research to support retention. None. Thus you would need to conclude this is truly an unusual case or a case of delay rather than disorder/deficit. There is no reason to think his adhd and sensory issues are a delay that will go away. Put in a request for a full case study evaluation to the school in writing today to start planning his iep for first grade. That is bogus about the window having closed and also bogus that they wouldn't give him ot for fine motor and sensory because of lack of academic need but now are retaining him based on that.

    In short do not allow the retention. There is no indication to me in what you have shared that there is any reason for retaining except that it is cheaper and easier for the school than providing appropriate early intervention. Key Academic decisions like this about children need to be made based on the child's best interest and needs. Not the schools.

    ETA: I suppose I shouldn't say no research but the large weight of the evidence is against retention and some recent studies have found harms with retention as early as the K year. Again, just in case I haven't made my opinion clear , I think your energy needs to be directed toward coming up with summer therapy and intervention and a solid plan for a first grade IEP with services. Don't engage with the retention more than you need too. Say no you feel very strongly against it, you are not comfortable with it and you want to work collaboratively with the school to come up with a plan for first. If they push further, show them research. If they push further, bring in a special education advocate who should tell them that they have "child find" obligations to identify and service children with disabilities and that they cannot refuse to give services on lack of academic need and then try to hold a child back because the child has deficits in the areas they refused to consider providing services in. Really just dispose of this retention issue, find a *highly regarded* neurospych or testing psychologist with expertise in childhood ADHD and an OT to evaluate his sensory and fine motor so you have all of your private documentation and those experts' suggestion for a plan. Honestly, I think the 504 makes parents and schools feel better because it is "doing something" but in a SIGNIFICANT amount of cases what needs to be done, esp for a young child where intervention has not even been tried, is to provide services not "work-arounds." IMHO.
    Last edited by sste; 03-25-2015 at 04:16 PM.

  4. #14
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    Gena is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    You might find this recent newsletter from Wrightslaw helpful. It has several articles about retention.

    http://www.wrightslaw.com/nltr/15/nl.0310.htm

    The evidence shows that retention without making substantial changes in the child's program has no long-term positive effect and may have lasting negative effects.

    That said, we are considering retaining DS in the 5th grade. However it would actually be a year of a gradual transition from elementary school to middle school, with elements of both 5th and 6th grade. So although it would be a retention on paper, in reality it would be more of grade five and a half.

    In in your situation, I would definitely push for an IEP evaluation. Make the request in writing hand deliver it if possible. You will need to know what the law in your state sets as a time-frame to have the testing done, such as thirty days, sixty days, etc. And you need to find out how the state law defines "days". In some states in means calendar days, but in others it means business days or even school days - which can cause a delay when school breaks for the summer.
    Gena

    DS, age 11 and always amazing

    “Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong

  5. #15
    o_mom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by sste View Post
    Do not retain him. It is generally a mistake to do so and there is no research to support retention. None. Thus you would need to conclude this is truly an unusual case or a case of delay rather than disorder/deficit. There is no reason to think his adhd and sensory issues are a delay that will go away. Put in a request for a full case study evaluation to the school in writing today to start planning his iep for first grade. That is bogus about the window having closed and also bogus that they wouldn't give him ot for fine motor and sensory because of lack of academic need but now are retaining him based on that.

    In short do not allow the retention. There is no indication to me in what you have shared that there is any reason for retaining except that it is cheaper and easier for the school than providing appropriate early intervention. Key Academic decisions like this about children need to be made based on the child's best interest and needs. Not the schools.

    ETA: I suppose I shouldn't say no research but the large weight of the evidence is against retention and some recent studies have found harms with retention as early as the K year. Again, just in case I haven't made my opinion clear , I think your energy needs to be directed toward coming up with summer therapy and intervention and a solid plan for a first grade IEP with services. Don't engage with the retention more than you need too. Say no you feel very strongly against it, you are not comfortable with it and you want to work collaboratively with the school to come up with a plan for first. If they push further, show them research. If they push further, bring in a special education advocate who should tell them that they have "child find" obligations to identify and service children with disabilities and that they cannot refuse to give services on lack of academic need and then try to hold a child back because the child has deficits in the areas they refused to consider providing services in. Really just dispose of this retention issue, find a *highly regarded* neurospych or testing psychologist with expertise in childhood ADHD and an OT to evaluate his sensory and fine motor so you have all of your private documentation and those experts' suggestion for a plan. Honestly, I think the 504 makes parents and schools feel better because it is "doing something" but in a SIGNIFICANT amount of cases what needs to be done, esp for a young child where intervention has not even been tried, is to provide services not "work-arounds." IMHO.
    I completely agree with this.

    If he is not showing enough academic effects for an IEP, then he is not showing enough to be retained. If you retain him, then he will likely be compared against the lower grade-level benchmarks, making it even harder to qualify for services. However, I would use their recommendation of retention as proof that he is qualified for an IEP at this point. They can't have their cake and eat it too and since they have already said he is behind, they can't really take that back.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

  6. #16
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    egoldber is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    I would still request a screening committee meeting. Even if it is too late to get a 504/IEP this year, you need to get the process started.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  7. #17
    sariana is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Lots of good advice already. Remember, in most cases the parent is in the driver's seat. Don't let the school think it can push you around.

    How old is your DS? Is he at the younger end for K? I do know of a boy with a fall birthday who went to K on the young side (turned 5 in October) and then repeated K the following year. It worked out well for him and seemed to be absolutely the right choice. But his parents were totally on board with that. (He was caught in CA's shift from a Dec 2 cut-off to a Sep 1 cut-off. The year he started it was Nov 2, but the year he repeated it was Oct 2. So he ended up within the window anyway.)

    It is a tough call, but you know what is best for your child. If repeating would not address the issues he is having, then it is a cop-out by the school. Don't let them be lazy about it. You and your son have rights, and the school can't just brush those aside.
    DS '04 "Boogaboo"
    DD '08 "Lilybear"

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by o_mom View Post
    I completely agree with this.

    If he is not showing enough academic effects for an IEP, then he is not showing enough to be retained. If you retain him, then he will likely be compared against the lower grade-level benchmarks, making it even harder to qualify for services. However, I would use their recommendation of retention as proof that he is qualified for an IEP at this point. They can't have their cake and eat it too and since they have already said he is behind, they can't really take that back.

    I sort of disagree.

    IME, retention is very, very rare. I know of one single child who was retained in the school in which I teach, and one in my own kids' schools. It's rare for the reasons that people on this thread have pointed out - it's typically not effective. However, there are some cases in which it is warranted - specifically when emotional and academic immaturity come into play.

    OP, I absolutely encourage you to request a full eval, and it is NOT too late to do so. Tell the school system that you refuse to make a decision about retention until it's happened. Get an outside eval, too. But if an experienced teacher that you trust has mentioned it, I would listen with an open mind. Most districts do NOT want to pay to retain a kid, especially if they think that child would qualify for special education services either now or down the road - retention is expensive, and teachers are actively discouraged not to recommend it. Also keep in mind that retention and qualification for special education are not mutually exclusive.
    Green Tea, mom to three

  9. #19
    theriviera is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    This is all very interesting to me. My best friend who has a son in the same school as mine was told that she should retain her son. They discussed some emotional immaturity but a lot of it was based on his age and being the top of his class if he repeats. He has an early summer birthday in a district with a 9/1 cutoff.
    Mama to 3 awesome kids

  10. #20
    o_mom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green_Tea View Post
    I sort of disagree.

    IME, retention is very, very rare. I know of one single child who was retained in the school in which I teach, and one in my own kids' schools. It's rare for the reasons that people on this thread have pointed out - it's typically not effective. However, there are some cases in which it is warranted - specifically when emotional and academic immaturity come into play.

    OP, I absolutely encourage you to request a full eval, and it is NOT too late to do so. Tell the school system that you refuse to make a decision about retention until it's happened. Get an outside eval, too. But if an experienced teacher that you trust has mentioned it, I would listen with an open mind. Most districts do NOT want to pay to retain a kid, especially if they think that child would qualify for special education services either now or down the road - retention is expensive, and teachers are actively discouraged not to recommend it. Also keep in mind that retention and qualification for special education are not mutually exclusive.
    I'm sure it varies by location, but it is not completely discouraged here. I know at least a few kids per grade here who were retained. Now, after the initial year of repeating the same material, many of them struggle and now don't qualify for help because they are compared against a lower grade-level in evaluations. As pointed out above, there is little to no evidence that retention has any benefit, so for a teacher to recommend it tells me they are not using evidence-based practices. The famous quote about doing the same thing and expecting different results comes to mind.

    The school has said OP's son is fine academically and that his fine-motor and attention are issues. Those are not reasons to retain. I can't imagine that his attention would improve having to repeat material he has already mastered. It does sound like they are trying to avoid a special ed evaluation which is why OP needs to insist on that happening.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

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