Overwhelmed (Update #1 and #2 in OP)

[jenmcadams]

UPDATE #2
Today is my DH's memorial service - I'm 42 years old and he was 45. Our kids (DD-12, DS-9) are remarkable and we're going to be ok, but I'm so incredibly sad. My house is overrun with people and it will only get worse as the day goes on. I wish we had scheduled the service for 10AM, so it would be over sooner, but 2PM will be here soon enough. I'm so lucky that most of the people here are people I'd want to be around in this situation, but there are others who are more difficult. I need to get through the next few days and then I'll move on with getting some other parts of my life in order. There are reasons to be optimistic about the business and my first step is to work with some advisors on what direction to take. Step 2 will be the following week when I'll meet with the financial aid people at my DD's private school. We adore the school and I want to figure out a way to keep her there (plus our DS was scheduled to start there in Fall of 2016), but it was a financial stretch we were willing to make given the growth rate of our business. Ideally, I'd get enough financial aid to send them both, but if not, she'll need to make a move at high school. Now that I'm faced with an uncertain future with our business (and a much reduced salary for the near future), I have to be careful with our life insurance money to make sure I can provide for our kids while I figure out stuff on the work/business side of things. I know there are so many people who have it worse financially when they're widowed at a young age and even though we were way behind on savings and retirement, at least we have the life insurance and the business (while stressful now) could end up being a source of income longer term.

Thanks to everyone for all of your kind thoughts and prayers and please wish me luck today

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UPDATE #1:
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone. I am trying to take care of myself and my focus is on my kids. My DD is home and we're just trying to muddle through. As far as the business goes, I do have a whole group of advisors (some rock star entrepreneurs and business people) who are helping me with everything (basically a bunch of my husband's peers formed an immediate advisory board for me) and I'm not rushing into any decisions. Unfortunately though, a few things have to happen in order for me to get some more time to make my decisions. Hopefully existing clients don't bolt and we can close some additional work and we can stay afloat for a little bit. In general, there's a ton of help, but some of it is just stuff I'll have to do. I'm trying to get better at asking for what I need and at saying Yes and Thank You, but it's hard. Thank you again to everyone here for all your P&PTs

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I've been a member here since 2002 and while I don't know a ton of you in real life, I have come to rely on this board for advice and thoughts as my kids have grown. On Sunday, my husband was out for a bike ride and had a cardiac event and died instantly (autopsy conclusion, based on excluding other options, was some sort of dysrhythmia). Someone saw him wobble and fall down and called 911 and performed CPR immediately. The ambulance was on scene in less than 3 minutes and they never brought him back. He was 45 years old and our kids are 12 and 9. My 12 year old daughter was in Europe performing with her singing group and my sister flew to bring her home and hopefully they'll be home later today. I'm so devastated and don't know what to do. Telling my children was almost worse than knowing I lost him.

I'm so lucky and have so many friends and plenty of support. I've worked part time over the years and have a good background, so I'll eventually go back to work. We had life insurance, but probably not enough. My husband had an unrelated spontaneous stroke 4 years ago and almost died, so we were never able to buy more. I know we should treasure the fact that we had almost 4 more years, but it's hard to feel good about that when this incident was unrelated. In both cases, my DH had no underlying health issues - he was heavy, but had perfect BP, low cholesterol and no coronary artery disease. It just goes to show that lightning can strike twice

We own our own software development business with 7 employees and I'm trying to decide how to move forward. My husband was the day to day CEO, hands on person and I'm the behind the scenes admin person. I have background in this, but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to jump in and take over. If I don't do it, I have to decide whether I can hire someone to help or how to wind down the company without costing myself too much money. I have great advisors helping me think about it, but the answer of what to do isn't clear and I have to make the final decision.

I'm not sure why I'm posting, but I've been up for several hours and just wanted people to think about giving your families that extra hug today