Would this bug you???

[basil]

A week ago, my laptop got ruined. I left it on the counter and DS spilled water on the counter. DH was home at the time, noticed the water spill, wiped around my laptop but left it sitting in a pool of water for about 9 hours until I went back to use it again. Now it's completely busted, and I have no computer.

Yesterday, DH asked me if he should throw away that "old carseat in the garage". I figured he meant my cousin's 7 year old expired infant seat that's been sitting in the garage for 3 years. So I said yes. Instead, he threw away my daughter's infant seat that was only one year old.

All our dishes are chipped, we can't have wine glasses with stems, because they get tossed around and broken. Every important paper we need is crumpled and stained. He showed up yesterday to DD's doctor's appointment with her dressed in dirty boy clothes with food all over her face and hands. I'm just tired of it! I know that with little kids that accidents happen, but I don't feel like I should need to watch my husband!

When confronted, I don't even get a "gee sorry, it was an accident, will try harder". Only:
-You shouldn't have left your computer on the counter. How was I supposed to know that water would get under the computer?
-You should have communicated better which car seat to throw away. How was I supposed to know you meant the old expired one not the brand new one?
-Why does it matter if the doctor thinks we don't wash clothes or bathe our child? You should have told me you wanted me to change her outfit.

There is just no attempt at common sense or thinking things through. Yet, it is somehow all my fault for not telling him to clean up a spill, not break things, not throw out expensive useful items, or dress the children in clean clothes!

[MMMommy]

Hugs. I am sorry! I would definitely be annoyed by the laptop situation. I think it should be obvious to actually pick up the laptop, assume there is water under it, and wipe under and around it. The other two, I would be peeved but chalk it up more to misunderstanding or cluelessness.

[Gracemom]

Sounds like my DH, and it can be really hard. I realized I have to really up my communication with him, mostly with texts. I wish he had more common sense, but we just approach things so differently. Pick your battles as to what's really important and try to let go of the rest. Or you will be constantly frustrated and arguing. I know from experience, unfortunately. My 8 year old can be more helpful than my DH! And do try to look at the good your DH does. At least he's trying to do things. I'm still working on that!

[ett]

The laptop situation would definitely upset me. The car seat situation I could chalk it up to misunderstanding as I'm pretty sure my DH doesn't know how old any of our car seats are either.

[wendibird22]

I'd be frustrated by all 3 situations. All those situations sound like he's either in too much of a rush or is too scattered to concentrate on the task at hand.

[specialp]

The laptop, yes. Big mistake there. The other 2, no.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Laptop and car seat would really bother me. Clothes would irk me a bit.

[BunnyBee]

That would frustrate the crap out of me. Does he have ADHD and refuse treatment?

[LBW]

These would all bother me, and unfortunately, I deal with this kind of crap all of the time. I feel like I have three young boys and one irresponsible teenage boy living in my house. I'm sorry your husband lacks common sense, too.

[sarahsthreads]

The first would really bug me. I don't usually bother to print recipes, so a laptop on the kitchen counter actually isn't outside the realm of normal here. I'd be willing to accept the responsibility for leaving my laptop someplace hazardous, but by not cleaning up underneath it and attempting to rescue it, he played a big part in ruining it.

The rest...I'd personally take ownership of the carseat mistake, because honestly my DH wouldn't know an old carseat from a new carseat from a dining booster seat. I buy them, install them, show him how to use them, and keep track of when they need replacing. In general, whenever we discuss what needs to be gotten rid of, we have to do it together with the items in hand or I risk losing items I did not mean to send to goodwill or wherever.

The dirty clothes/food on face would make me sigh a bit but DH really honestly doesn't notice these things, and to be fair I've gotten somewhere and realized that DS made a bigger mess at his last meal than I thought (or my attempt at cleaning him up dried and revealed a layer I missed.) That's not a battle I'd fight, myself. I sincerely doubt the doctor is going to look at a one year old in messy clothes with food on her face and assume that you never wash clothes or bathe your child. And it's taken me nearly a decade and a third kid, but I've come to realize that even if other people see my children out in public with their dad and judge me, the absent mom, on whether they're wearing dirty or mismatched clothes or have wild hair, that's their problem, not mine.