Would this bug you???

[Meatball Mommie]

The laptop would really upset me since it's expensive and common sense would say pick it up and check.

The carseat would bug me, but I can see how it happened. My DH threw out 2 new holiday wreaths that I happened to leave on top of the trash can. They were there while I went looking for the over-the-door wreath hangers in the attic. He happened to be taking the trash out at the same time. He did admit that he thought it was weird that I was throwing out wreaths with their tags still on! Oh well..

The clothes, etc. at the doctor appt wouldn't bother me. I'd wipe the kids face if I saw it was messy, but I'm sure pediatricians have seen it all

[TwinFoxes]

The laptop would really bug me, because that's just being lazy. The carseat wouldn't bother me that much, unless he knew I was planning to do something with it (and honestly if you have an expired car seat that's been in your garage for three years, why would he think you'd be planning to do something with the infant seat?) I don't fight over clothes. It's hard because I do think "really? the holey pants I saved for mud pies?" But in the grand scheme I don't care.

[Myira]

The laptop would really bug me, because that's just being lazy. The carseat wouldn't bother me that much, unless he knew I was planning to do something with it (and honestly if you have an expired car seat that's been in your garage for three years, why would he think you'd be planning to do something with the infant seat?) I don't fight over clothes. It's hard because I do think "really? the holey pants I saved for mud pies?" But in the grand scheme I don't care.

I feel the same, the leaving the laptop there was very callous on his part and would bother me. The carseat and clothes is something I can totally see my DH would do and he is very responsible but is really clueless when it comes to clothes and frequently has trouble spotting things that are right in front of him!

[hillview]

The laptop would bug me but I'd accept my responsibility in leaving it on a counter where bad things happen. DH should have thought about cleaning under it so he has a role here too. The other stuff is all normal here. We kill a wine glass every few weeks it seems like. I got a case of cheap ones. The carseat with MY DH would be me physically looking at it as he would have no idea what to toss. SORRY sounds rough!

[MamaMolly]

Yes that would all grate on me. I have a pet peeve about crusty kids. I am setting myself up to be flamed here, but I fully admit it, I don't look at a filthy kid with a cray-cray outfit and go awwwwwwwww! Daddy is taking little Billy out today! How cute! Nope, I'm the judgy bey-otch in the corner thinking Duuuuuuude, did you not even look at your kid today?!

And yes, my kids have left my home in my care with breakfast or toothpaste on their faces more times than I care to admit. I'm not perfect! But I will lick my finger and clean off what I can.

[lalasmama]

All 3 would annoy me. That being said, DH asks for very clear instructions. He will ask me, "What do you want DD to wear to _____?" or "The yellow car seat with flowers is the one going, right? It still looks good, so I just want to be sure." Both are recent examples of questions he's asked. He knows that I'm fussy about what DD looks like when we take her out, and I'd rather not leave it to her to decide what an "appropriate" outfit is for some things (doctor's office, meeting rarely-seen family, visiting her first foster mom, or other times when people may be "judgy" about appearances). And he knows that I'd freak if he took a Britax to recycle without checking 1531856 million times, especially because it still looked good because we changed the covers quite often.

[ahisma]

The laptop has happened to me, almost exactly the same scenario, except that it was on the coffee table and DH then tried to boot it (WHAT?).

I can totally see the rest happening here too. He's a bit more on the ball with clothes, but that's at the urging of our kindergarten kid who has more social grace than the entire family in aggregate.

DH is an english teacher. I describe him as the stereotypical absentminded professor. It's spot on. It drives me nuts, but we've had some massive health scares lately that put things in perspective so I'm rolling with it a bit more (for now).

[hellokitty]

The laptop would piss me off, as it seems so DUMB to not bother to wipe up and move a piece of expensive equipment after an accident like that. The other things would annoy me and I'd wonder if my dh had asperger's or something with lack of organization and consideration (unless he is very good about being organized and considerate of his on things... then I'd chalk it up to him being selfish). The clothing part would just basically be the straw that broke the camel's back and throw me over the edge... not b/c it is a big deal, but the timing and combo of the different things all together would just make me boil over. I'd have a serious talk to him about what the problem is and how this can't keep happening, as it's driving you nuts.

Oh and I'm wondering if there's any chance this is NOT normal for him, if it isn't, I'd suspect he was just being passive aggressive to prove some sort of point or that it's related to a prior grip that he might have had with you.

[basil]

Oh, sadly I guess, it's typical and he's not being passive aggressive. Just the absent minded professor type that ahisma described. This is just a few things on top of each other that were more valuable than usual (laptop and carseat). And the clothes pushed it over the edge.

He can't do laundry without ruining stuff. He can't do any project that doesn't involve duct tape. He can't be trusted with a tube of super glue (he tried to repair one of DS's toys and ended up getting super glue on the counter, all over his fingers, and getting so much glue on the toy that now the arms don't move).

He is good about big stuff like finances, his job, etc. But he just doesn't think to care about "stuff" and how to care for it. He doesn't see it as selfish because he just doesn't get why I would care so much about those things.

[minnie-zb]

I'm with Hellokitty, my first reaction was it's some sort of passive aggressive thing with him. Although someone else mentioned ADHD and that also seems to fit.

But, back to your post. Yes, it would annoy the crap out of me -- the laptop and the showing up at the doctor's office a mess. The car seat, I can see how that could happen.

As far as the wine glasses and china, we've broken most of our wedding crystal and wedding china. Soooo, I bought inexpensive crystal from Costco (haven't broken one piece! Hah) and I still haven't decided what I want for china, so we are using a eclectic assortment.