41 is too young for this, right?! (maybe tmi)

**AnnieW625** · 10-15-2015

.....for erectile dysfunction. DH has never had an issue with this even last spring when he was on pain killers for a back injury (he hasn't been on them since May), but now all of a sudden it is an issue. Other than DD2 starting kindergarten and the usual stressors that comes with that nothing else has changed in our lives. I told DH he needs to call and make a physical appt. with his doctor because other than his back problem, which has gotten much better he hasn't seen a doctor in a few years.

TIA

**daisysmom** · 10-15-2015

I don't think 41 is too young - and can be caused by so many thing. Is his weight high or blood pressure high? I know someone who suffered from it in his mid-40s but is absolutely fine in his mid 50s once he lost weight which lowered his blood pressure too.

**essnce629** · 10-15-2015

Yes, high blood pressure can cause it. I'd have him go in for an annual physical.

**AnnieW625** · 07-26-2016

Just realized I never updated this post and am checking it because this is an issue again.....ugh....seemingly out of nowhere.

So DH is 6' and 175, he is in good shape. He had a physical in December, 2015 and he said everything checked out fine. He had a mole removed from his back in January. Things were going great until about 2 weeks ago. Last year's problem started getting better around mid November, 2015 so we had about 7 months of normalcy.

DH is most likely just stressed out about his work situation (his work is moving in 2020 to a new location in Riverside) and I think he is taking it way too personally. He doesn't want to move, but thinks he has to make a decision about it now. I told him be thankful he got 4 yrs. notice. He can also transfer to the office in Sacramento now if he wants to, but is thinking the earliest he would move would be next summer because Dd1 would start middle school then. I wish I could get him out of this funk now. We had the house to ourselves two Saturday nights ago and nothing happened. I might have to farm the kids out to someone again soon and kidnap him and take him to hotel for a night because this is just crazy (but then he'd probably be pissed that I spent money on that!)

**hillview** · 07-26-2016

sounds more mental. I'd consider a therapist if everything checks out ok.

**AnnieW625** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by hillview

sounds more mental. I'd consider a therapist if everything checks out ok.

Good idea. I will try and mention it to him.m if he won't open up to me about it.

**TwinFoxes** · 07-26-2016

Wait, it's just been two weeks? If someone posted on here that they were feeling stressed about work changes, but their husband wants them to see a counselor because they hadn't had sex in two weeks we'd be up in arms. When you say "nothing happened" that Saturday, like he tried? Or that he just didn't try? A friend of mine who's never complained about sex told me that she and her husband had an afternoon to themselves, and she said "I told him we can nap!" and that's what they both did. My point being, just because the kids were gone for one night, and your DH didn't want sex, doesn't mean there's something wrong. Two weeks just doesn't seem like "he needs therapy" material to me. It would be unusual for DH and me, but I don't think I would tell him to see a mental health professional.

**SnuggleBuggles** · 07-26-2016

Originally Posted by TwinFoxes

Wait, it's just been two weeks? If someone posted on here that they were feeling stressed about work changes, but their husband wants them to see a counselor because they hadn't had sex in two weeks we'd be up in arms. When you say "nothing happened" that Saturday, like he tried? Or that he just didn't try? A friend of mine who's never complained about sex told me that she and her husband had an afternoon to themselves, and she said "I told him we can nap!" and that's what they both did. My point being, just because the kids were gone for one night, and your DH didn't want sex, doesn't mean there's something wrong. Two weeks just doesn't seem like "he needs therapy" material to me. It would be unusual for DH and me, but I don't think I would tell him to see a mental health professional.

Totally.
I wouldn't worry. Sometimes people really are just tired or not in the mood. It's not a bigger sign. And, as I told my SIL (anonymously in the advice box they got at her shower), sometimes you just gotta do it if you aren't in the mood (because you almost always get in the mood and it was totally worth doing

). So, maybe you need to just make the first move. Still might not work but don't take it personally.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

**hillview** · 07-26-2016

Ok I agree with pp -- I assumed (my bad) that he was ... erm .... trying and unable vs there was no romantic moment of truth and people we napping or doing laundry etc.

**HannaAddict** · 07-27-2016

Two weeks is a short time frame and making a big deal out of it will only make it worse, not better, whether it is ED when attempting or just not being in the mood. I wouldn't say anything about it after two weeks and just try and make life in general a little more pleasant. Go for a walk after dinner, watch the kids and tell him to go mountain biking or golfing if he's into that. But I don't think I'd be suggesting therapy or physicals or anything after two weeks of no interest or a couple of attempts. Hang in there and as others wisely said, don't take it personally. People get stressed out.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thread: 41 is too young for this, right?! (maybe tmi)

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display