How do you deal with "leggings are not pants"???

[Twoboos]

My rule is - leggings are not pants, if you're wearing leggings your top MUST cover your butt.

DD2 (10yo) keeps trying to get around this by wearing regular t-shirts and pulling them way down to show me they do cover her butt. And as soon as she moves her arms the shirt pops back up.

I keep telling her to go change, she keeps throwing a fit. Today I said I will remove all her leggings from her closet if she can't wear them properly. Plus she lost her iPad for stomping around and yelling at me that she "can't wear anything normal."

So... how do you deal with this, or did you just give in. We were in church and there were HS age girls wearing leggings as pants, so I do think this is a losing battle but I can't seem to give it up.

[bigsis]

I'm no help. I'll be watching for responses.

[StantonHyde]

I go for jeggings--or other leggings that look like pants--have belt loops, etc. Or the leggings have to be really thick and dark colored so nothing is see through. Fortunately, DD (who is 10) has been ok with jeggings and skinny jeans. She wears a uniform to school--thank goodness!!!

[Melaine]

I would treat it like other parenting issues: rules are rules, they are enforced and disobedience brings consequences. Sounds like you are doing a good job. We have lots of rules that other families don't, so my kids better get used to it. Also, I would be really horrified if teens are wearing leggings as pants at church! We are extra careful to dress for church; that's annoying. I like the idea of removing the leggings if she is deliberately ignoring you.

[Globetrotter]

BTDT
I just made comments every time.
At first she resisted, but now she realizes that the tops have to be long enough to cover her butt entirely and ideally go to mid thigh.

We are fans of jeggings and skinny jeans.

[zukeypur]

I have gone so far as to take DD back home when she tried to sneak leggings as pants to school. She was allowed to go to school after she changed. I have also sat in the parking lot with her while she put a proper tank top in under a top that showed a little too much. Kids rarely get scolded for dress code violations at school, but I have rules.

[Green_Tea]

My DDs are 11 and almost 13. I am doing what I can to avoid clothing battles because I want to save my chits for the stuff that's really important. The leggings thing really doesn't bother me. It does seem to be the current style to wear leggings as pants, usually with tops that cover to the top of the thighs (so over the butt and crotch). Personally, I'm ok with this for my own kids. Around here leggings with an oversized sweatshirt and Ugg boots are the standard issue uniform for the 10+ set.

If you don't want to bend on that (and that's cool - we all have our own battles that we think are worth waging) I would buy her a bunch more longer shirts that she will want to wear, or more jegging style pants that you are OK with her wearing with shorter shirts. I'd do something to eliminate the battle, personally, because I think it's those small daily battles that drive a wedge in the mother/daughter relationship in the tween/teen years.

[gatorsmom]

I've dealt with similar issues. I don't yell, I tell them what's going to happen. In your case, I'd tell her that if she wears legs with any shirt again, they'll be gone for 6 months. Then if they try again to get away with it, I settle the issue and while they are away at school I remove them from their drawer and hide them somewhere. In 6 moths they will have found a new favorite way to dress. Then I bring them out and see if they can handle it better. I put it on my calendar to reintroduce it.

[TwinFoxes]

I'd buy her a bunch of longer tops/tunics. Make it so there's really no excuse.

I hate leggings with T-shirts. It's not attractive to me. Thigh length shirts, sure, but regular length tees, just no.

[cmo]

Thankfully, our middle school has a fingertip rule for tops that are over leggings. Basically, they are treated just like a dress, skirt, or shorts: tops must be as long or longer than your fingertips when standing with your arms at your sides. So you pretty much need a full-on tunic to comply. I have pointed out to all my DCs when out and about, when seeing someone wearing leggings with a standard length shirt, that it can sometimes look like they just forgot to wear pants. (Even when they have a rockin' 20-year old butt. I completely admit to old-lady tendencies on this one!)