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  1. #71
    Momit is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I am a boy mom, but I will say that when girls wear leggings with shorter shorts, it seems that it's often possible to see the print pattern of their underwear through the fabric. I've never seen jeans thin enough for that to happen.
    DS age 9

  2. #72
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default How do you deal with "leggings are not pants"???

    I think there's a big difference with "don't dress in a way that's inappropriate for the occasion" and "don't dress in a way that's *inappropriate* for your *body*."

    The first is societal norms, manners, respect based. I'm good with that.

    The second is a judgement and I'm not good with it.

    "Your body isn't good enough for a bikini so don't make us see you in one" kind of logic is noxious and not the kind of message to send to kids - I would say especially girls who are inevitably going to have body image/weight/beauty images thrown at them from all corners at age 10 on.

    Will I gently encourage my kids to dress in a way that's flattering? Yes. Modest? Yes and I'm a darn conservative dresser myself (although I do wear bikinis to the beach!). But I also try and find ways to send the "it's your body don't let the world try and control it" message - which is a challenging balancing act, no doubt!"
    Last edited by citymama; 01-11-2016 at 12:43 PM.

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  3. #73
    TxCat is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisysmom View Post
    I don't disagree that a school rule like "no short shorts" or "no tank tops" is fine. I don't have any problem with a school drawing lines for what they consider professional clothing, and I would not let my DD wear cut offs to school or a tank top (other than on an outside day, like a field day). But leggings... IMO they have the same coverage as jeans. They come to a place below the waist (such as low rise jeans) and go to the calf or ankle. They completely cover the skin.
    For me, it's not necessarily about the tightness of the bottoms, but the origins and how it looks from a distance. Leggings can look like tights/footless tights from a distance. It makes me think of dance apparel/work-out wear, which I believe is the origin of the latest iteration of this trend (the whole athleisure trend that has stormed the fashion world). A t-shirt and leggings/footless tights in the dance studio - expected. In the classroom or the grocery store - looks like you couldn't be bothered to change out of your work-out or dance apparel. I get that it's a trend, but I also get why people object to it.
    DD1 10/2010
    DD2 8/2013
    And expecting DS1 10/2016

  4. #74
    bcafe is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by TxCat View Post
    A t-shirt and leggings/footless tights in the dance studio - expected. In the classroom or the grocery store - looks like you couldn't be bothered to change out of your work-out or dance apparel. I get that it's a trend, but I also get why people object to it.
    Yikes, I guess I can't be bothered to change out of my work out leggings after hitting the heavy weights. Too bad that grocery store is so da*mn close to my gym.

  5. #75
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcafe View Post
    Yikes, I guess I can't be bothered to change out of my work out leggings after hitting the heavy weights. Too bad that grocery store is so da*mn close to my gym.
    On a lot of days, yes, I can't be bothered to change out of my running tights either. Or my tee shirt and sports bra. I often go into the grocery store still sweaty with wet spots on my tea shirt and pants. But painters go in to the grocery store in their paint clothes too.

    I just don't get judging someone else for what they wear. It is mindboggling to me that someone would think that in this century, personal freedom in dress is not evident on this board.

  6. #76
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    And.... we all agree that women should be able to show the top of her breasts while breast feeding a baby in public. But some people think that a woman should not be able to show her buttocks or thighs covered in tight nylon or cotton other than in the gym?

  7. #77
    TxCat is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bcafe View Post
    Yikes, I guess I can't be bothered to change out of my work out leggings after hitting the heavy weights. Too bad that grocery store is so da*mn close to my gym.
    I do it too. But, I also have to acknowledge that I'm not bothering to change out of my workout clothes after the gym and just want to go to the store afterwards to save time. I get that that is the statement that comes across to some people with my choice of apparel at that time, and honestly, in my case it's not an inaccurate statement.
    DD1 10/2010
    DD2 8/2013
    And expecting DS1 10/2016

  8. #78
    TxCat is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by daisysmom View Post
    On a lot of days, yes, I can't be bothered to change out of my running tights either. Or my tee shirt and sports bra. I often go into the grocery store still sweaty with wet spots on my tea shirt and pants. But painters go in to the grocery store in their paint clothes too.

    I just don't get judging someone else for what they wear. It is mindboggling to me that someone would think that in this century, personal freedom in dress is not evident on this board.
    There is a difference between censoring, judging, and interpreting based on apparel. Just as I can see someone walk down the street and admire an outfit they put together, or how they carry off a certain look, even if it's something I would never choose to wear myself, I can see people wear some outfits in certain situations and think that that "nope, I don't get it" or "nope, wouldn't wear that here."

    A male colleague (so, male physician in his 30s) was recently called out by the partners in my group and "put on notice" because more often than not, he was coming into work looking like his hair was unbrushed, had 2-3-day facial stubble, and sloppy scrubs (top not tucked into bottoms) and boat shoes rather than clogs or tennis shoes. He's a great physician - very smart, articulate, well-read, stays up with the current research more than most of the group, and definitely more so than the colleagues who were objecting to his appearance. But, many of the men in our group felt like his appearance was making a poor statement, that then could be extrapolated to his attention to detail at work, his overall judgment, and his dedication or seriousness at work.
    Last edited by TxCat; 01-11-2016 at 12:56 PM.
    DD1 10/2010
    DD2 8/2013
    And expecting DS1 10/2016

  9. #79
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by TxCat View Post
    There is a difference between censoring, judging, and interpreting based on apparel. Just as I can see someone walk down the street and admire an outfit they put together, or how they carry off a certain look, even if it's something I would never choose to wear myself, I can see people wear some outfits in certain situations and think that that "nope, I don't get it" or "nope, wouldn't wear that here."
    You are absolutely right. I have no problem with saying "wow, I wouldn't wear that" to myself. Or even to my child (I said that a few times while watching the red carpet last night). I have no problem with anyone forming an opinion like that at all. I may have been reading too much into some of these posts - as I was thinking that people shouldn't be allowed to wear them.

    And honestly, my issue is what we tell our girls. My DD is tall and thin and 9, and she can wear leggings and looks great. I worry that we are targeting overweight girls and that I don't like. And I personally just can't get over the thought that I need to dress her more conservatively because of what a hormonally charged boy may think.

  10. #80
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by TxCat View Post

    A male colleague (so, male physician in his 30s) was recently called out by the partners in my group and "put on notice" because more often than not, he was coming into work looking like his hair was unbrushed, had 2-3-day facial stubble, and sloppy scrubs (top not tucked into bottoms) and boat shoes rather than clogs or tennis shoes. He's a great physician - very smart, articulate, well-read, stays up with the current research more than most of the group, and definitely more so than the colleagues who were objecting to his appearance. But, many of the men in our group felt like his appearance was making a poor statement, that then could be extrapolated to his attention to detail at work, his overall judgment, and his dedication or seriousness at work.
    I don't really have a problem with this either. In our law firm, two guys in our group have let their hair grow "shaggy" (wouldn't call it long at all) and have both grown facial hair. We have been told to address it. I agree, they don't look professional, and when we bill them out at $700 an hour, how you look does matter. At my old firm, the head of a team was obese, and for years, people on the team struggled with how to not put him in front of clients. Like it or not, his appearance suggested that he lacked self control and a few people commented on it.

    So I don't really have a problem when workplaces have these (largely unwritten) codes of dress. But elementary schools, in my opinion, it needs to be written. And it needs to make sense. And I just don't think bans on leggings make sense.

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