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  1. #1
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    Default Helping with/checking homework

    How much do you help your teen/tween with homework? We were warned DS would have a lot of homework this year, especially in math (he's in 7th grade taking pre-algebra). I help him if he asks for help with something specific, but DH sits there practically the whole time with him, then checks each and every problem every night. Apparently DH resents that I don't share in this workload. My take is it is up to the teacher to review the homework (sometimes happens, sometimes doesn't) and DH is doing too much. I work at a university and I want DS to be self-reliant but ask for help when needed, as I deal with helicopter parents all the time. Plus I already went through 7th grade and don't need to repeat it. DH never went to college so has a bit of a different perspective. He's always been much more concerned with DS's homework than me, it is just a lot more volume this year.

  2. #2
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Could you talk to dh and make a deal that if ds is doing well in class (grades word like tests) then he can ease off on the hovering? We don't check his stuff but he asks if he's stuck. I review his written work bc his school has let them down on writing and he needs extra help (plus a push to do more than the bare minimum).

  3. #3
    ellies mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I remind DD1 that she needs to be doing her homework and I'm available if she asks for help but I don't sit with her (unless I happen to be sitting there) and I don't review her work unless she asks.

    My big resentment is that DH comes home before me but saves all the homework "arguments" for me when I get home anytime between 7:30 and 9pm.
    Veronica

    Miss Ellie 11/03
    Baby Audrey 4/08

  4. #4
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    I don't sit with him (6th grade). I will help when asked. Sometimes that help is significant (making a football playbook, for example), but mostly it's just answer a quick question. He does share his Google docs with me for final reports, etc so I can check and make edit suggestions. He had a math unit on ratios that he struggled with for a week or so and I did check those homework problems. But, he's a good student overall and I don't have many worries.
    Kris

  5. #5
    rlu is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    I check for legibility and to ensure he understands the concepts. We discuss math quite a bit as his teacher isn't getting the ideas across to him well.

    DH checks to make sure everything is right. DS finds that frustrating but it's not a battle I'm taking on right now. DS does classwork we don't see before grading so the teacher is seeing what he truly gets.

    We both help him study in that we test him on vocabulary words and note recognition and fingering.
    DS Mar04, 8th grader. Life Scout. Being read Flash the Homeless Donkey.
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  6. #6
    erosenst is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    6th grader here. I do close to nothing. One question about how much homework she has (works as a friendly reminder for her to think about it). Occasionally she'll ask a question but it's rare. Ok in truth I often don't know and it's past curfew. I will help til 8. After that if I happen to know I'll answer but won't help her find a better place to find a good answer in Google etc.

    For us it works as DD is both very independent and a good student.


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  7. #7
    gatorsmom is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My son is in 6th grade. Our school has always expected parents to take a very active role in our kids education. Every night when the kids have a homework assignment, the answers are sent home on a folded, stapled sheet. When DS is done with his math I correct it and circle what is wrong. He reworks the problem but we work on the problems together if he doesn't understand why it's wrong. I guess I don't see it as hovering although I guess some could see it that way. I do like knowing that he is grasping the concepts and if it seems he isn't, I can spend more time with him or I can email his teacher to work with him more. The school does expect him to be responsible for writing down and keeping track if his assignments and are teaching self organization.
    "It is not 'progressive' to try to resolve problems by eliminating a human life." Pope Francis

  8. #8
    Neatfreak is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Only when my 6th grader asks. She transferred to a new school with a new curriculum last spring, so there were things that I had to teach her the basics of (looking at you, fractions) so that she could catch up.

    She enjoys sharing her writing, and will sometimes check with me that she's understanding something correctly. Sometimes she has me look over her math homework and challenge me to figure out some of the problem solving - we both are math geeks.
    ~ Laura



    One in 2004 and the other one in 2008

  9. #9
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    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    5th grade I do nothing unless he asks for help which is very rare
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  10. #10
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    My DS1 (7th grade in honors pre-algebra and honors ELA), needs a lot of monitoring on homework, but not in the way your DH is monitoring. He has some executive skills deficiencies so I monitor that he records his assignments and actually completes them and turns them in. I don't check answers in math. I do help when asked, but it's only occasionally that he really doesn't understand (he may ask for help, but that's him being lazy and not wanting to do the work...a whole 'nother story lol). I proofread written work (not short answer stuff, but essays and projects). Neither DH or I sit there with him while he's doing work.
    Karen
    -----------
    Mom to 2 hockey-playing, Lego-loving boys DS1 2003 & DS2 2005

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