How's Everybody Holding Up? I'll Start!

[StantonHyde]

So my family Christmas went great for the first time in like forever. Yay! Now I get SIL here for a week.
1. She NEVER calls or emails to ask what day or time she should fly in. She just makes reservations and assumes we will be there to get her. Last year, it was in the middle of DD's Choir Concert. This year it was in the middle of my family's Xmas.

2. She is disappointed she gets the blow up mattress in the office--it's a bed on a frame, raised up off the floor. If she gets DH's room (he works lots of nights and needs to sleep during the day so he sleeps in the basement) then that means DH has to sleep in DD's room, and DD sleeps with me. So yes, that displaces the ENTIRE family. And she knows this.

3. Unfortunately, MIL is getting more demented and she had to move to our city. She is in a Senior citizens apartment place with 3 meals a day--very nice place. She moved in September. She still has gobs and gobs of boxes that are unpacked. She won't do it. She won't let DH do it--if he tries to throw out any junk, she asks him to leave. He went in there while she was at SIL's for Thanksgiving and got rid of tons of stuff--she will never know. It's hard for DH and SIL to see their mother become a different person. But then SIL thinks that DH should have the apartment unpacked by now--because MIL let HER unpack a box and WHY have the wardrobe boxes not been unpacked--and don't recycle those, they are valuable. This does.not.help. You are on the same team here.

4. Today, SIL took DD over to MIL's apartment. They came home and we said "isn't MIL coming over for dinner". SIL says that MIL didn't want to come because she wasn't invited. WHUCK!!! We told SIL--dinner will be at 6, it's all of us together. So DH has to call MIL and invite her over. Give me a break!!!! It's the same holiday as last year--it's just that MIL is staying in a different place.

5. SIL is a bit miffed/confused that I did not buy tickets for various plays and performances for her and MIL to go to while I am working!!! DH is off on Monday and Wednesday--I am not. Why would I plan entertainment for everybody else? MIL and SIL have always just gone to lunch and to the movies when they come here. They don't baby sit for us--they just entertain themselves. When I have gotten tickets, it has been for shows that I am attending with the children and I include MIL and SIL. I'm not setting up entertainment for everybody else while I am at work. (I have to work--our big federal accreditation audit is coming up in January and this is my show. High risk, high visibility and still plenty to do--its the same every year)

Sigh--could always be worse. ...Feel free to add your frustrations.....

[petesgirl]

Hmm.. Mine aren't quite as frustrating as yours but here goes...

1) we found the perfect gift for DH's college age brother yesterday. Unfortunately it is sold out in every store and since it's a specialty item they won't be getting anymore. Too late to order as it isn't on amazon prime. DH found the item on eBay and ordered it but it won't get here till January so DH wants to wrap a picture of it for bil to open. Awesome.

2) I'm not done Christmas shopping but a few mystery charges that I did NOT make showed up on my bank account last night. So I may be done shopping after all as I will have to cancel that card and a new one certainly won't make it in time.

3) my mom is driving me nuts. I mentioned to her that the neighbors had invited my family over for Christmas eve. My mom suddenly decided her and dad want to get the family together on Christmas eve after all. That's great, honestly I love my family and would much rather be with them than the neighbors. But my mom feels so bad that we cancelled on the neighbors, she just keeps saying 'maybe we shouldn't do a family get together that night since you already have plans.' no, mom, I cancelled those plans. Then she says something like 'well, let me know what you decide to do soon so I can tell the others.' We seriously have this convo every. Single. Day. How do I make her understand that I have already choosen not to go to the neighbors and I don't feel a bit bad about it??

I think that's all for now

[StantonHyde]

oh crap!!! that the gift will not be here, that you can't charge anything else. And what is it with indecisive people!!??? Just make a decision and go with it.

PS. SIL did not offer to lift a finger with dinner. We had to chase MIL out of the kitchen--she wouldn't be helpful but, by golly, she was certainly going to offer it. Then they both sat there at the table stuffing themselves with Xmas cookies while DH cleaned dishes. Not.one.offer.of.help. SIL is 43 years old. No she is not married but for hell's sake--where are her manners?????? And I cooked hazelnut crusted chicken with a port reduction sauce plus pecan/sage roasted butternut squash. That takes work people. I just.don't.get.it.

[Simon]

So far, I have made it through the first 3 hours with my manners intact. I did pour myself a nice drink and I'm hoping our guest will go to bed soon. We have to stay up until then. Fingers crossed, I'll make it through the whole first day.

I have a ton of gift wrapping to do and also some work to finish, though I can work from home. I won't be able to relax until my work is over so I'm going to get off BBB and get to it.

[StantonHyde]

Simon--I feel for you. I assume this guest is around all day when you are also working from home??? And you can't really drink while you work.... I hope you can shut some door and lock yourself in there with work!!! Can you sic the kids on the guest? That is often a good distraction :-)

[liz]

2) I'm not done Christmas shopping but a few mystery charges that I did NOT make showed up on my bank account last night. So I may be done shopping after all as I will have to cancel that card and a new one certainly won't make it in time.

Ask your cc company to expedite the new card. Same thing happened to me (except we didn't figure out they were legit charges until afterI cancelled the card ). We got the new cards the next day, but we had to ask. Otherwise they were going to send in 3-5 business days- too long around this time of year!

FYI, it was a charge DH made that set the whole thing off. It was a delayed payment for an item that was originally out of stock. Weeks later we couldn't figure it out, until to late. Any chance it was something like that?

[lizzywednesday]

This is pretty much a first-world problem but ... DH only asked his BROTHER what said brother's children would like for Christmas.

Since I usually handle gift buying for the children, DH apparently didn't know that he really needs to ask SIL not BIL what the kids want. So DH was planning to get the kids ... Target gift cards, because that's what BIL said.

Um, what? We got them cash or Target cards for their birthdays.

It's Christmas.

So now I'm braving the mall to get something very specific for the eldest, using the heck out of my Prime membership, and twitching about the youngest's present because DH wants to get him a video game. (But he CAN'T do that unless BIL tells DH if nephew is getting a new gaming system, which I don't think is likely.)

I hadn't planned to get these kids anything because DH was going to handle it; we even made a deal about how much I could spend on the nephews on my side of the family. He didn't handle it and I REFUSE to give only gift cards to the kids for Christmas.

[StantonHyde]

Lizzy-that would drive me batty!!!!! Arfghhhhh

[niccig]

My holiday fun hasn't started yet. I'm getting ready for 5 days visiting the ILs. It's a short stay and DH is making plans to see some friends that live nearby. One is a very good friend, who wants us to stay overnight. I know MIL won't be happy about that, but I am . Even if we don't stay overnight, it will be a long visit. Then there's other friends we need to see before they leave for a trip. So all up, there's probably only 1 day I have to put up with MIL and SIL together. I'm loading up the kindle and will try to keep the snark/eye roll to a minimum.

Oh, and SIL won't lift a finger to help with the Christmas Dinner. She will find a way to be occupied - one year she played video games while everyone else helped clean up. MIL didn't say a word. I figure that's why it happens, she wasn't taught manners/no one says anything to her now. So she sits back and watches everyone else do the work. DH is pretty fed up with her behavior, so he might say something this year.

[StantonHyde]

nicci--that is great news that there are friends to go see. What is it with single SILs? I used to help clear dishes at least!!