So annoyed with myself

[mousemom]

Hopefully if I write this down it will stop rankling so much. DS2(2.5) goes to a small toddler gym class, which parents participate in. Since DS1(7) is off school today and DS2 has his class, I decided to bring both. DS1 was really excited to find out what DS2's class is like and to help out. I told DS2 he could help with the circle time activities at the start (singing songs, etc.), but would have to watch the circuits they do later in class since they are only meant for little kids. But at the start of class, the owner (who is not the teacher and is not usually there) immediately said to DS1, "you can go play in the toy room, ok?" Only it wasn't really a question and she shuffled him off the floor and I let him go. I was just so surprised and didn't expect it to be an issue. I'm so annoyed with myself that I didn't stand up for him and say, "no, that's not ok. He's going to help his little brother with circle time and he's not going to be in anybody's way." There was no reason he couldn't sing some songs with us and I'm mad at myself that I wasn't a better advocate for my son. I did apologize to DS1 later (he was upset, since he had been excited about it) and tell him I was sorry he didn't get to participate with us and that I didn't know that was going to happen. But it's still bothering me.

[baymom]

Hugs Mamma. You were just too stunned to say anything. I've been there too and then regretted not saying anything to advocate for my DC. I think I'm often caught by surprise and then can't react fast enough.

But, you will both forget about it soon enough. You probably feel worse about it then your son, in all likelihood. I'd have been annoyed at the owner too. She should have at least seen if it would have worked out before sending your DS1 off.

[TwinFoxes]

I get why you're upset, but maybe the owner's insurance only covers kids who are enrolled in the class, or she's told other parents that older sibs aren't allowed, or whatever. I agree with PP, don't beat yourself up, and don't feel like you did anything wrong.

[Pear]

I get why you are upset, but I also think the staff member may have been offering the best solution. Out of age range kids can really change a class which isn't fair to everyone who is paying to be there.

[mousemom]

Oh, she may have had any number of legitimate reasons. That's why I'm more annoyed with myself than with her. Had I spoken up for DS, presumably she would have given her reasoning. I would have liked DS to know I at least tried.

As far as I know, there is no blanket policy as I have seen younger sibs allowed on the floor. I guess my perspective is colored by the fact that I used to do Kindermusik with DS1 and older sibs were always welcomed and included as much as possible on days off school, so I don't see it as that big of a deal to include them on occasion.

Thanks, Baymom, for understanding exactly how I felt about not reacting fast enough.

[bisous]

Oh, she may have had any number of legitimate reasons. That's why I'm more annoyed with myself than with her. Had I spoken up for DS, presumably she would have given her reasoning. I would have liked DS to know I at least tried.

As far as I know, there is no blanket policy as I have seen younger sibs allowed on the floor. I guess my perspective is colored by the fact that I used to do Kindermusik with DS1 and older sibs were always welcomed and included as much as possible on days off school, so I don't see it as that big of a deal to include them on occasion.

Thanks, Baymom, for understanding exactly how I felt about not reacting fast enough.

I'm classic at not reacting fast enough and then thinking of what I could have done better way after the fact so I completely relate to how you're feeling! That said, I think it sounds like you handled the situation with grace. I think it good modeling for your DS to see that you follow rules and that you can be pleasant about changing expectations and that was probably good practice for him. So while it may not have been the reaction that you wanted to make, I can see some good things from it.