If your child wants to be a SAHP....

[Green_Tea]

Well, if she's anything like me, she'd be retired. I don't intend to go to work once the kids are out of the house. Volunteer work, sure. But, not looking for a second career. FWIW, I'll be 48 when our youngest graduates high school.

It's wonderful that you will be in a position to retire at 48. Your daughter might not be in that kind of position though, especially if she never works before having children and if her husband has a career that doesn't pay exceptionally well. What is she marries a minister? Or a teacher? Also, people are living longer and longer. 48 is very young to be retired now. By the time your daughter is 48, it may be unheard of to retire before your 70s.

[megs4413]

It's wonderful that you will be in a position to retire at 48. Your daughter might not be in that kind of position though, especially if she never works before having children and if her husband has a career that doesn't pay exceptionally well. What is she marries a minister? Or a teacher? Also, people are living longer and longer. 48 is very young to be retired now. By the time your daughter is 48, it may be unheard of to retire before your 70s.

All I meant by that was that I'm not sure asking her what she wants to do after kids would be that revealing. Who knows, my mind may even change in the next 10+ years. We'll see!

[georgiegirl]

Also, she's much more likely to meet a potential spouse who can afford a SAHM spouse if she gets an advanced degree in a high income field.

[PZMommy]

I always wanted to be a SAHM, but that is not what life had in store for me. I didn't meet my DH until I was 33, and by then I had an advanced degree and was working full time to support myself as I couldn't live with my parents and do nothing. I married a teacher and we live in a HCOL area, not by choice, but forced to because of where we work, and there is no way I could afford to not work. I'm lucky in the fact I am a teacher, so I get the same school holidays off as my kids, long summers, can come home at a reasonable time, etc.

I would advise your DD to get a college degree since who knows where life may lead her. She may. To marry someone who makes enough for her to be a SAHM. I'd also advise her to not just settle for the first guy that comes along just so she can have kids. She needs to wait for the right guy.

[georgiegirl]

Two of my best friends (one from college and one from law school) wanted to be SAHMs when they had kids. Both work full time. One is a teacher married to a teacher in a semi-high cost of living area with three kids. The other is going through a divorce at age 33 (no kids.). On the other hand, I'm a SAHM and had never considered the possibility until I had kids.

[sunnyside]

I agree with encouraging a career. I'm a SAHM. I'm also a single mom. I'm able to do that because I built a career and invested wisely in some things that generate passive income. I don't think there is any way I could have the life I have if I hadn't set up my career. I wasn't expecting to be single, and still don't expect to be single for the rest of my life. But it's so nice to know that I can be home with my kids and home school, even though I'm single.

[nfceagles]

Also, she's much more likely to meet a potential spouse who can afford a SAHM spouse if she gets an advanced degree in a high income field.

I was trying to figure out how best to say this. I walked away from a six figure salary to be a SAHM and have no regrets, but a large part of why that was possible was because I was meeting and dating men who also made good money and that included my DH who has been able to support us on one salary.

[StantonHyde]

My rule for my children is that they must have a college degree (or some sort of trade training/certification--welding, plumbing) first. Then you are free to make choices vs. getting stuck at 35 being a waitress if your husband dies. After that--they have to be self sufficient (not living in my house!), happy (don't be a miserable Wall Street trader or some stereotypical no work/life balance job), and doing something that is legal. (no drug dealing!). After that, I don't care.

To be an SAHM and prepare myself for parenting and have a good back up plan? I would go to Nursing school in a heart beat. It's just that I can't stand other people's bodily fluids. Kind of a problem.

Also--there is research that shows the "success" of children (job oriented most likely) is due to the mother's education level, not the father's financial standing. Well educated mothers produce well educated children. And yes, the best way to meet a spouse who can support you is to go a good college and have a good job.

[jren]

Also, she's much more likely to meet a potential spouse who can afford a SAHM spouse if she gets an advanced degree in a high income field.

This is very true. I met my DH through work.




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[carolinacool]

I was trying to figure out how best to say this. I walked away from a six figure salary to be a SAHM and have no regrets, but a large part of why that was possible was because I was meeting and dating men who also made good money and that included my DH who has been able to support us on one salary.

Yes, I was thinking "I hope she doesn't plan to marry a teacher or journalist." Lol

But in all seriousness, absolutely college or at least some trade career where she can make fairly decent money. And savings! So if she falls in love with someone who's not in a particularly lucrative career, there will be something to help bridge the gap.