Both of my parents are dead. I talked about a lot of my challenges with my dad here while it was going on. I'm not sure if I should be greatrul or not but neither of my parents ended up needing serious care. My dad was living with chemo and doing well. He was still living alone, working part time and traveling with friends regularly. He died in his sleep. My mom was diagnosed with metastasized cancer and decided not to fight it the second time she had it. She was still traveling with my dad until about 6weeks before she died. She was only bedridden for 3 weeks. My dad took care of her at the time.
Now my ILS are starting to struggle with their health. My MIL has a number of health issues but her biggest problem is that she is a full-blown alcoholic and completely in denial. They hang out with and travel with a big group of other retired alcoholics. FIL can control his drinking but she can't and she is always feeling poorly (or more likely hung over and dehydrated). We live on the other side of the country from them and don't see them much. DH's siblings live much closer (all within driving distance) and yet they want us to stage an intervention. I'm mainly staying out of it and leaving it to Dh and his sibs to figure out.
What fascinates me about them is that my DH was the problem child growing up. He was always in trouble (I'm pretty sure he had ADHD) and all my ILS friends and DH's cousins say he was always causing problems. I think my FIL honestly didn't like his son, even into adulthood. Now the tables have totally turned. Dh is wildly successful, far surpassed his siblings and even his successful father with his career. He's also become a caring father and well-rounded person. My ILs have been forced to begrudgingly admit that Dh makes much better decisions with his life and that they should listen to his opinions, especially when it comes to thoughts on their future welfare.
I I have a couple of elderly aunts that have outlived their retirement funds who are healthy and being taken care of by their children that I send money too. I know my cousins don't have the money to support their elderly parents so I'm happy to help. I'd be happy to have one of the local aunts move in with us(we certainly have the room and my kids are at an easy age), but I don think my aunt wants to leave the house she has been living in for 50 years.
Last edited by gatorsmom; 02-28-2016 at 01:18 PM.
" I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi
"This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.