DS had a hard time in PE yesterday. Several of the boys were using "bad words" (his words--apparently the "s" word, "d" word and "h" words) and he told the coach who told him to go back and play. He was really upset about it. For my part, I told him that maybe the coach handled it on his own and told him to play because it wasn't any of his business. He accepted that advice.

But that event made me start thinking about what kind of advice to give him about seeing things in Middle and High School that are clearly violations of school rules. I learned fairly early not to say anything to teachers and authority figures about things like bad language, inappropriate behavior or even minor drugs if I didn't want a LOT of unwanted attention. Even authority figures didn't really appreciate being told every little infraction. It is hard because I think all of these things are fairly normal for kids this age but until this time DS hasn't been exposed to them and it is unsettling for him. As a first time mom of kids this age I don't want to teach him a double standard. I want him to still look out for some injustices including mistreatment of others, stealing or destruction of property, etc. Also, I happen to think that profanity and drugs are very undesirable and certainly against school rules. How do I teach him what to intercede in and what to tolerate? What do I teach him to do to justify not doing anything? So how DO I teach him to live in this world and not compromise the ideals we've tried really hard to instill in him?

Anyone gone through this with a very upright, very literal child? DS1 is also somewhat immature socially for his age and definitely marches to the beat of his own drummer. He has some good friends and is generally well liked by a lot of the kids but he's not super popular because he's pretty different.

TIA,