Being supportive versus being realistic?

[Indianamom2]

I completely understand what you're saying here. DD is very much the same. It's painful to watch her try sometimes and very hard to know what to do. I like the suggestion of letting her try a low-cost/commitment dance program over the summer to see how that goes.

[inmypjs]

I have a child with dyspraxia, and I wanted to ask if she knows she has it? Does she know what it means and have you talked about how it affects her? My son is aware, and honestly it has helped him to know it. He has tried a few sports/activities that I would not have chosen for him, but I felt like he did with eyes wide open - knowing that they would be harder for him because of dyspraxia. We did have to point that out, he didn't naturally think of it. We talked about the activities ahead of time, that they would likely be harder for him than other kids, if he was up for that, and that the expectation was that he would stick with it for the duration even if he got frustrated. I think that helped a lot. I am a big fan of giving kids all the information so they can make the best choices. I am also a fan of talking openly about disabilities. So my bottom line is yes I would let her do it, but not without talking about how her dyspraxia may impact her first.

[lalasmama]

I have a child with dyspraxia, and I wanted to ask if she knows she has it? Does she know what it means and have you talked about how it affects her? My son is aware, and honestly it has helped him to know it. He has tried a few sports/activities that I would not have chosen for him, but I felt like he did with eyes wide open - knowing that they would be harder for him because of dyspraxia. We did have to point that out, he didn't naturally think of it. We talked about the activities ahead of time, that they would likely be harder for him than other kids, if he was up for that, and that the expectation was that he would stick with it for the duration even if he got frustrated. I think that helped a lot. I am a big fan of giving kids all the information so they can make the best choices. I am also a fan of talking openly about disabilities. So my bottom line is yes I would let her do it, but not without talking about how her dyspraxia may impact her first.

She's aware of the dyspraxia; we're pretty open about it, and she knows I have it (much more mildly than she does), so we often struggle together to learn how to do something. She was diagnosed when she was 5, so she's been dealing with it for as long as she can remember. DD, has rougher time with it than I do with large muscle motor skills, and has to "feel" the movements many times to "maybe" get an idea of how to kind of do the movement. And all the time, it's very trying for her, very emotional if she feels like she's not getting it. (We play Dance Central on the Xbox, and by the second song, she's usually mad and possibly stomping off crying.)

I often will point out to DD things that I have a problem with because of my dyspraxia--like I'm a second behind schedule when I need to hit a ball, and I have to be a "mirror" instead of a "shadow" when learning to move my body by watching someone else, and I can't read directions to figure out how to do something, but once I see how to do it visually, in real time, I can usually approximate it. I always point out that I'm having fun learning, so that it doesn't seem like a mountain to conquer, but she gets much more frustrated much easier than I do... Because of her history (intrauterine drug exposure), we're pretty darn open about the challenges that come, and talking/planning how to make things easier. We've talked to her about the fact that the dyspraxia will make it more difficult (along with the tears, and yelling, and cursing about why she was born with these challenges, as always), but that it doesn't mean we stop doing things just because they are hard.

DH and I have talked about it. He'll be talking to the dance coach to see how competitive it really is, and how to help her succeed as much as possible. I like the thought that several people had upthread, that if we let her do it and she did her best and didn't make it, it wasn't us holding her back... that's a good way for us to look at it, I think. I'll be sad along with her if she doesn't make it, but as least I will know that's my fault because I didn't allow her to try.