I don't know if I should post in this forum or the special needs forum. My husband and I are struggling with my delightful son, who at different times is emotional/moody, bounces off the walls happy, forgetful and clueless, and takes medicine for ADHD. My husband is more involved with the regular doctor appointments/prescriptions and he asked me to post the following --- Thanks for reading and sharing your insight:

What should normal look like? Our DS is 13, exceptionally gifted, and has ADD. He has a hard time starting things and has a difficult time staying focused on tasks. In the mornings he is bouncing off the wall, humming songs to the point of irritation, and unfocused. He takes his he two ADD meds and runs out the door to catch the bus and is off to school where he is calmer and starts off the day with classes he naturally enjoys – math and science. He struggles with English later in the day, but writing is not his thing. He comes home mid/late afternoon and will work on homework and usually gets most of it done. However, long term projects are a struggle for him. He is a picky eater (very very picky eater) and slow eater and dinner averages anywhere from half an hour to an hour (but sometimes even longer!). Any chores like dishes, cleaning his room, taking out the trash, etc.; and practicing the piano are unfocused and require almost constant redirects. We are wondering what realistic expectations are for a teenager taking the “right” dosage of the “right” meds should look like. How do we factor in that most teenagers have messy rooms and don’t want to do chores; or the fact they are learning how to be students their whole lives? If he is dialed in correctly for his medications, should we expect him to have the ability to be focused on his tasks throughout the day? Should he be a voracious eater like other teenage boys his age? However, we don’t want him doped up because of the meds all day either. It’s one of those we don’t know what we don’t know. Should we be satisfied with, “he’s somewhat focused at school,” and continue as we are outside of school, or is there more that we can expect?