Can I Warm Up to the Idea of a Dog?

[lizzywednesday]

OK, we do not currently have a pet.

I do not currently want a pet.

My siblings and I have had pets in the past - four cats (not all at once and only one of them was "mine"), three dogs (again, not all at once), two gerbils (not mine), and various toads named "Sam" (don't ask.)

My energy and commitment level pet-wise is about ... indoor cat. For various reasons, ranging from our home setup to allergies in relatives, we cannot get a cat.

However ... DD wants a dog. More than anything, she wants a dog.

DH has promised her that she can have a dog at some indeterminate time in the future.

I am not on board for a dog.

I'm just not a dog-person. (Dogs love me, but I'm kind of "meh" to fearful toward them. It's not them; it's me.)

I don't want anything in a cage, tank, habitat, or enclosure, so small mammals, reptiles, and fish are all out. So are birds, because I am deathly afraid of birds. (Also, feathers. Ew.)

I also want to say that I would never willingly mistreat a pet just because I didn't want it, but I would rather not have a "meh" to resentful attitude toward one before it starts to become a real possibility.

Is there any way I can get myself to warm up to the idea of this hypothetical dog before DH figures DD has fulfilled whatever conditions he's set? It's unlikely to be any time soon, but she has a memory like a steel trap, so she'll certainly ask him again, especially if she sees her cousins' new puppy again.

[BunnyBee]

Nope. You'll be doing the care and maintenance. They're expensive. The dog can live long beyond when she's gone off to college. She can get a dog when she has her own place. DH should not have promised that unless he's planning on getting his own place.

[niccig]

Our dog is a cat-dog. 13 lbs havanese that likes to snuggle on your lap, doesn't bark, and is very very chill. We do need to brush him (way less than we should) and take to the groomer. He's incredible low maintenance. We got him at a rescue but were very careful with our choice (barking, hyper dogs we didn't look at). We just adopted a cat through a cat rescue and were careful that cats personality would mesh with out family. Both rescues let us foster to adopt. We've always had pets though so you have to be willing to do some work.

[twowhat?]

If you're not on board, then no!!! Agree that your DH shouldn't have made any sort of promises without you being on the same page!!!

[elbenn]

I was going to suggest a dog that has traits more like a cat. Of course, you should be on board with it no matter what type of dog you get and if you can't get on board, then probably best not to get a dog.

[gcc2k]

Nope. You'll be doing the care and maintenance. They're expensive. The dog can live long beyond when she's gone off to college. She can get a dog when she has her own place. DH should not have promised that unless he's planning on getting his own place.

ITA!

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[JElaineB]

No. I am not a dog person. I am a cat person. We didn't have any pets for about 5 years and frankly I didn't want any. The fur, the messes, the cost of food and vet bills, the not being able to go on vacation without making special arrangements. DH really had to work in me to agree to another cat (we now have two). I like them well enough but everything I wasn't looking forward to came to pass. Personally I would never agree to get a dog. They are much more work than cats IMHO and if you don't even want a cat I just wouldn't go there.

[Twoboos]

No. Do not do it. I was meh-to-kindasorta on a dog when we got one last year. I regret it daily. I treat the dog like a king, and it's a giant PITA. He was at daycare today while I hosted a kid pool party and it was DELIGHTFUL. I truly miss our dog-free house. it is one more huge endless thing to think about, worry about, plan for, organize for, it's never ending. Moreso than kids, even.

I know I am in the minority here and most people probably think I'm horrible, but if you don't think you want one, you don't and your family lies when they say they will help. They will help when it is convenient/fun for them, otherwise it's on you. Do not fall prey to DD wanting a dog, it doesn't matter. Both my girls wanted a dog and claim to love this one more than anything and if you ask them to walk him they act like I'm ripping off a limb.

(Boy that sounds harsh!! Apparently I feel VERY strongly about this. But if I can save someone else 15 years of resentment, I will do my best to help.)

[trcy]

Nope. You'll be doing the care and maintenance. They're expensive. The dog can live long beyond when she's gone off to college. She can get a dog when she has her own place. DH should not have promised that unless he's planning on getting his own place.

ITA with this. I love dogs and I can't picture my life without one. But from what you stated, no way should you get one.


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[123LuckyMom]

No. Do not do it. I was meh-to-kindasorta on a dog when we got one last year. I regret it daily. I treat the dog like a king, and it's a giant PITA. He was at daycare today while I hosted a kid pool party and it was DELIGHTFUL. I truly miss our dog-free house. it is one more huge endless thing to think about, worry about, plan for, organize for, it's never ending. Moreso than kids, even.

I know I am in the minority here and most people probably think I'm horrible, but if you don't think you want one, you don't and your family lies when they say they will help. They will help when it is convenient/fun for them, otherwise it's on you. Do not fall prey to DD wanting a dog, it doesn't matter. Both my girls wanted a dog and claim to love this one more than anything and if you ask them to walk him they act like I'm ripping off a limb.

(Boy that sounds harsh!! Apparently I feel VERY strongly about this. But if I can save someone else 15 years of resentment, I will do my best to help.)

I do not think you're horrible, and I am a BIG dog person!!! If you don't want a dog, OP, don't get a dog!!!

It is completely possible that if you get a dog you will fall deeply in love with it and be thrilled that you did it. I really never liked cats and might even say I actively disliked cats until my sister got a kitten, and I fell in love with it. I adopted the kitten's sister, and I have never loved an animal more in my life! Now I am a cat person as well as a dog person. Our recent pet-filled household was two cats and a dog. Now they have all passed away, and my heart is broken in a million pieces. Unexpected love can happen. However, it is also possible, and far more likely, that you will barely tolerate the dog, or actively resent it, and yet be its primary caretaker. That's not fair to you, and, frankly, it's not so fair to the dog! Dogs are a lot of work! And they're expensive! Unless you're really ready for all the responsibilities having a dog entails, just don't do it. I adored my pets, but I'm happy to live in a pet free house for a while. I miss the special pet companionship, but I don't miss the responsibility, the mess, or the expense. Kids are enough on my plate right now.


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