Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    20,390

    Default Anyone done a clothes allowance?

    I am getting really fed up with my nine year old twins' attitude towards clothing, clean up, and laundry. We have some extra issues such as identical twins with a very small space (I've talked about this before). I'm definitely getting the "how dare you ask me to do that" vibe about lots of totally reasonable chores (like putting your own laundry away). Today they pitched a collective hissy fit about who a pair of jeans belonged to (we try to keep their laundry separate but there are slip-ups). In a surprising and dramatic twist, they both claim these particular jeans DON'T belong to them. Pardon my french but WTH? We have tried labeling everything, separate hampers, assigned spaces. No matter what there is WAY too much drama surrounding clothing and chores.

    My first response to today's jean fight was: it will be a cold day in hell before I buy you more clothing, young lad(ies).

    I'm also leaning towards minimalism for ALL of us, which is definitely a new twist for me but also sort of a long time coming. Anybody have comments on any of this?
    The Fall Style Challenge is here! Come on over and create a capsule wardrobe you LOVE with the help of a personal stylist.

    Blogging about Minimalism & More at ChasingSantee.com

  2. #2
    hillview's Avatar
    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    20,993

    Default

    I have found chore charts help hugely with the whole "how dare you ask me to do that" response. We used it daily for about 6 months and then miracle -- kids would do what I asked. Now if there is a non compliance response, I suggest we get the chore charts out and that ends that. For clothes I think marking them is a good idea but realistically it won't end it. I forget how old they are but I think it is a "you guys sort it out" starting at age 8 or 9. And if they fight the item goes into a penalty box (for like a week). I don't like being the go between with my boys (not twins). GOOD LUCK!
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    3,815

    Default

    Not an allowance, but we do go through them having to wear everything in their closet. (DH and I actually do this too when we need to thin out the closet.) I hang clean clothes that have recently been worn with the hanger's open side facing out. They can't wear those clothes again until they've worn all the right hanging clothes, or alternatively, agree to donate them. It works well for us, but I have boys. They aren't into fashion, but they want to wear the same shirt every single day yet ask me to buy others. They are also not tall enough to reach the hangers. With the jeans, I'd put them in the donate pile since no one is claiming them.

  4. #4
    elbenn is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    .
    Posts
    8,134

    Default

    Can you label the tags so there is no arguing over whose clothes they are? Your "surprising and dramatic twist" language made me laugh.

  5. #5
    Percycat is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    .
    Posts
    1,178

    Default

    My parents did a clothes allowance when my sister and i were kids --- actually the allowance was to cover 'everything' we spent personally. Each year, my sister and I wrote up a budget that included how much money should be spent on clothes, shoes, coats, piano lessons, summer camp, school supplies, recreation, etc ---- our proposed annual budget was very generous and my parents typically reduced it by moving the decimal point to the left. The final amount was divided by 12 and set our monthly allowance. We opened checking accounts and became responsible for managing our money, making purchase decisions, and balancing our checkbook. I was in 7th grade and my sister was in 4th grade. Eventually, my sister went to a cash envelope system because she was not able to manage a checkbook. Today, kids could have a debit card -- but I would still want to make sure the kids are keeping a record of how much money is deposited and spent.

    It worked very well and taught me how to manage money. I wanted to go to summer camp each year and had to have the money available when payment was due. The cost was more than my allowance, so I had to save all year. My sister loved to shop for clothes and spent a lot of her money on clothes; I have always been less into fashion and either bought things on sale or sometimes had her "hand-me-ups."

    Purchasing clothes their own money may help your girls be motivated to take better care of things. It also can increase negative selfish behavior and make them unwilling to share things they purchased with their "own money."

    The allowance wasn't tied to chores. We were expected to do chores. During periods when we were slackers, we sometimes got fined for not doing chores. One summer, my allowance was reduced by the amount of my piano lessons and I had to earn money to pay for my lesson by practicing each day. It was a painful lesson, but eventually worked.

    I haven't done this with my children -- 13 and 11 -- but maybe I should. Something to talk to my husband about.

  6. #6
    hillview's Avatar
    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    20,993

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Percycat View Post
    My parents did a clothes allowance when my sister and i were kids --- actually the allowance was to cover 'everything' we spent personally. Each year, my sister and I wrote up a budget that included how much money should be spent on clothes, shoes, coats, piano lessons, summer camp, school supplies, recreation, etc ---- our proposed annual budget was very generous and my parents typically reduced it by moving the decimal point to the left. The final amount was divided by 12 and set our monthly allowance. We opened checking accounts and became responsible for managing our money, making purchase decisions, and balancing our checkbook. I was in 7th grade and my sister was in 4th grade. Eventually, my sister went to a cash envelope system because she was not able to manage a checkbook. Today, kids could have a debit card -- but I would still want to make sure the kids are keeping a record of how much money is deposited and spent.

    It worked very well and taught me how to manage money. I wanted to go to summer camp each year and had to have the money available when payment was due. The cost was more than my allowance, so I had to save all year. My sister loved to shop for clothes and spent a lot of her money on clothes; I have always been less into fashion and either bought things on sale or sometimes had her "hand-me-ups."

    Purchasing clothes their own money may help your girls be motivated to take better care of things. It also can increase negative selfish behavior and make them unwilling to share things they purchased with their "own money."

    The allowance wasn't tied to chores. We were expected to do chores. During periods when we were slackers, we sometimes got fined for not doing chores. One summer, my allowance was reduced by the amount of my piano lessons and I had to earn money to pay for my lesson by practicing each day. It was a painful lesson, but eventually worked.

    I haven't done this with my children -- 13 and 11 -- but maybe I should. Something to talk to my husband about.
    Wow that's awesome. Thanks for sharing.
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  7. #7
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    2,745

    Default

    When we were on vacation at the beach last week, we had two families as guests. Family A had identical twin boys, just turned 10. Family B had 3 children, girl -9, girl -8 (who is slightly bigger than her older sister) and boy-5. I just have one 9 year old girl.

    We had lots of conversations about clothes. Family A's boys do not share any clothes and never had. Not even baby clothes. The mom felt very strongly that as identical twins, they are pressured to be similar but she feels her boys are very different. This year as a birthday present they were given different bedrooms (they are adjusting to this). But for clothes, she was very adamant that they not share and never will. Family B's girls share every piece of clothing. The girls look different (tho are close to the same size, the younger girl has a much more athletic build) and have very different interests/sports. But the mother (a doctor) said that there was no way she could ever keep track of their clothes. So all clothes, even underwear, are shared. They also share a room.

    My DD has a clothing allowance, and I had one too. I do tell her things she can't buy that she may want to (an impractical dress that can't be worn at school) but I largely let her spend it the way she wants to. I don't insist that she wear everything or rotate through things... but she does generally really like fashion. When she was 7-8, I just concluded that this was a fight that I didn't have time or desire to fight. My mother didn't allow us to wear black (she found it depressing) when I was little...she had a heavy clothes hand. I just wanted to avoid that.

    So I don't have a real purpose in my post (I see as I re-read it) but I did want to say that different people approach it differently. I know with my 9 year old that she likes to be part of the solution, so maybe you put it to them to come up with rules and you let them do it, on their time and their paper, and present to you in a week or so. Until then, keep the jeans.

    Chores are non negotiable in our house, but they are listed. Not a chart, but a list of things that she has to do every day. Payback is shelter (roof over head, bed to sleep in). We do give an allowance for extra chores on weeks of really tackling a good clean up, pre Christmas, spring cleaning, washing cars, work that takes a few hours (like the lawn) but not for daily effort that takes about 15 minutes.

  8. #8
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    2,745

    Default

    When we were on vacation at the beach last week, we had two families as guests. Family A had identical twin boys, just turned 10. Family B had 3 children, girl -9, girl -8 (who is slightly bigger than her older sister) and boy-5. I just have one 9 year old girl.

    We had lots of conversations about clothes. Family A's boys do not share any clothes and never had. Not even baby clothes. The mom felt very strongly that as identical twins, they are pressured to be similar but she feels her boys are very different. This year as a birthday present they were given different bedrooms (they are adjusting to this). But for clothes, she was very adamant that they not share and never will. Family B's girls share every piece of clothing. The girls look different (tho are close to the same size, the younger girl has a much more athletic build) and have very different interests/sports. But the mother (a doctor) said that there was no way she could ever keep track of their clothes. So all clothes, even underwear, are shared. They also share a room.

    My DD has a clothing allowance, and I had one too. I do tell her things she can't buy that she may want to (an impractical dress that can't be worn at school) but I largely let her spend it the way she wants to. I don't insist that she wear everything or rotate through things... but she does generally really like fashion. When she was 7-8, I just concluded that this was a fight that I didn't have time or desire to fight. My mother didn't allow us to wear black (she found it depressing) when I was little...she had a heavy clothes hand. I just wanted to avoid that.

    So I don't have a real purpose in my post (I see as I re-read it) but I did want to say that different people approach it differently. I know with my 9 year old that she likes to be part of the solution, so maybe you put it to them to come up with rules and you let them do it, on their time and their paper, and present to you in a week or so. Until then, keep the jeans.

    Chores are non negotiable in our house, but they are listed. Not a chart, but a list of things that she has to do every day. Payback is shelter (roof over head, bed to sleep in). We do give an allowance for extra chores on weeks of really tackling a good clean up, pre Christmas, spring cleaning, washing cars, work that takes a few hours (like the lawn) but not for daily effort that takes about 15 minutes.

  9. #9
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    .
    Posts
    10,890

    Default

    I don't have any feedback on the twin issue--though I can talk to DH if you want. There were two sets of twins in his family and he is a twin (male but fraternal).

    I love the system percycat came up with. That is just incredibly awesome. I'd love to do this with my kids!

    As a child, I got both an allowance ($20 a month), and a clothing allowance ($50 a month) and the two were for separate things. The $50 a month could only be used on clothes and I had total freedom to spend it however I wanted. My parents would still buy things like socks and underwear for me (because I think otherwise they were afraid I'd not spend my budget there, lol) but EVERYTHING else was covered by that amount. It was a great experience for me.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •