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  1. #11
    MSWR0319 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Many of the things you posted describe my DH to a T. I have no doubt in my mind he has ADHD. He went to the dr a few years back and we were so close to a diagnosis. The minute the dr said he wanted DH to go to a neurologist because he thought it was ADHD, DH said "Oh, I'm fine." I am convinced DH would be much more focused on meds and really wish I could convince him to try them. He's been a hot mess lately and it's just driving me nuts. He was gone for two days for work and I was so glad he was gone just so things wouldn't be so chaotic. I feel like I have a 3rd child when his ADHD is bad. He has started meditating as I think he's realized he does have it. Maybe someday he'll try meds.

  2. #12
    kdeunc is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I was diagnosed and started Adderall about 8 months ago. I have ADHD inattentive. DS2 was diagnosed about 3 years ago and I realized where he got it from.

    I was constantly trying to multi-task and failing miserably. Projects couldn't get completed or were never started because I was so overwhelmed at the thought. Like your DH I struggle with taking every critique very personally however I do not attack back, I would just completely internalize the critique as a confirmation that I was failing. That is improving some but still a work in progress.

    The medication has really helped me. I can not only complete tasks but actually remember to start them. It has helped my relationship with DH, who is type A, and often frustrated with my lack of focus. He did not/does not fully understand the ADHD struggle.

    I look back and realize that this has been a life long issue. I was bright enough to still do well in school and "work well under pressure" (code for completing the assignment at the last minute). It did however greatly affect my self esteem. I questioned my ability and as a result I think I self limited my opportunities. This was a major factor in DH and I deciding to medicate DS2 when we received his diagnosis.

    I would encourage your DH to be evaluated and consider treatment. It is not only frustrating for the spouse but it is extremely frustrating for the person with ADHD, even if it doesn't appear to be. Good Luck!
    Kelly

    DS 1 12-02
    DS 2 12-04
    DD 07-08

  3. #13
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    Yes, DH was. Treatment has helped with depression, temper, and focus. The part about only being "friends" with people who aren't seen as threats doesn't sound like ADHD. More a classic trait of narcissism.

  4. #14
    gatorsmom is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by BunnyBee View Post
    The part about only being "friends" with people who aren't seen as threats doesn't sound like ADHD. More a classic trait of narcissism.
    Wow, really? I thought it was more a symptom of severe insecurity. It would fit given his extreme urge to prove himself to his parents, to me, to society.

    This thread has been so helpful! Thank you to everyone who answered. It's given me lots to discuss with Dh who told me yesterday he'd like to go into therapy.
    "It is not 'progressive' to try to resolve problems by eliminating a human life." Pope Francis

  5. #15
    SASM is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by kdeunc View Post
    I was diagnosed and started Adderall about 8 months ago. I have ADHD inattentive. DS2 was diagnosed about 3 years ago and I realized where he got it from.

    I was constantly trying to multi-task and failing miserably. Projects couldn't get completed or were never started because I was so overwhelmed at the thought. Like your DH I struggle with taking every critique very personally however I do not attack back, I would just completely internalize the critique as a confirmation that I was failing. That is improving some but still a work in progress.

    The medication has really helped me. I can not only complete tasks but actually remember to start them. It has helped my relationship with DH, who is type A, and often frustrated with my lack of focus. He did not/does not fully understand the ADHD struggle.

    I look back and realize that this has been a life long issue. I was bright enough to still do well in school and "work well under pressure" (code for completing the assignment at the last minute). It did however greatly affect my self esteem. I questioned my ability and as a result I think I self limited my opportunities. This was a major factor in DH and I deciding to medicate DS2 when we received his diagnosis.

    I would encourage your DH to be evaluated and consider treatment. It is not only frustrating for the spouse but it is extremely frustrating for the person with ADHD, even if it doesn't appear to be. Good Luck!
    Kelly, thank you for posting this. Lisa, thank you for the original post. I truly believe that I have ADD, or at least some variation. DS was finally diagnosed 2 years ago in 5th grade after years of questioning the doctors. Since then, I have seen so many similarities between between DS and myself. I keep putting off testing for my diagnosis because of the cost factor - testing and medications. You have opened up my eyes...I really should just do it, Thank you. Lisa, I cannot offer you any advice but definitely offering you ((((HUGE HUGS)))).
    Mom to:
    1 BLUE (03) and 2 PINK (05 & 07)
    ^i^ 10.01 & 12.03

    Pardon my typos...blasted Auto-correct!!

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