I do not want to nurse. How to handle at hospital and other questions.

[Green22]

UPDATE #24

I have zero interest in nursing DC3, due this fall. I nursed my previous 2 for a little over a year each. I am 100% sure that not nursing is the best thing for the happiness of my family and me this fall.

My big issues are (1) guilt for the first few days - the colostrum which is supposed to be essential/magical/important for the baby, and (2) delivering at a hospital which has a policy that breast is best and (3) deciding on a formula.

Should I still do the nursing for the first few days for the baby's benefit then switch to formula on day 2 or 3? Will the anticipated mastitis H!ll be worse for doing so? Will it make it harder to switch to bottle?

Also I am not sure how to address the issue with the hospital. Just say after delivery- I am not nursing, period? At the hospital tour we spent about 15 minutes on how they insist on skin to skin contact to encourage nursing in first hour, all the benefits of nursing, and the importance of in-room bonding (not sending baby to nursery) for breastfeeding. This is a new place bc of insurance change. I'm a seasoned mom and I was intimidated.

Also for formula. One of my kids is Ana to milk (and other foods). Should I start this baby out on regular milk formula? I'm getting inconsistent responses from ped and OB. Anyone with Food allergies with other children care to weigh in? Do you bring formula and bottles to the hospital?

Thank you in advance!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I only nursed so can't really help only to say that if you're open to nursing for any amount of time, do it. Any bit they get is beneficial. Mastitis is preventable and I wouldn't let its possibility sway that.


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[TwinFoxes]

I think you should ask around for a lactation consultant who has a reputation of being non-judgmental to get honest answers. I personally would at least nurse for the first few days, or even pump and bottle feed the colostrum.

[elbenn]

It sounds like you are open to nursing for at least a few days, so that would be really beneficial. Or pump, as TwinFoxes said. If you do that, it takes care of any issues you have with the hospital.

[PZMommy]

I was just very upfront from the time I was checked into the hospital (scheduled c section for my first, and emergency c section for the second), that I was not going to be breast feeding. I made it known it was not a negotiable topic, and that was it. The hospital had newborn enfamil formula. I used that in the hospital. My oldest continued with that and moved onto regular enfamil when he was older. My youngest started on it, but then I switched him to Similac sensitive. He was a 36 weeker and had some health issues and reflux. I've found the hospital does not have a lot of formula options (he had to be readmitted numerous times during his first year due to his lung issues), and they only had enfamil brand. If you want to use a particular formula from the start, I'd bring your own. I have PCOS, and my milk never came in. I didn't get engorged or anything.

[essnce629]

I only nursed so can't really help only to say that if you're open to nursing for any amount of time, do it. Any bit they get is beneficial. Mastitis is preventable and I wouldn't let its possibility sway that.

Yes to this. Any amount is beneficial to baby and nursing for the first few days is beneficial to you by causing uterine contractions and helping to prevent excessive bleeding.

This site tells you the benefit to baby even if you just nurse the first few days.
https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/...ow-they-add-up

[Kindra178]

Yes to this. Any amount is beneficial to baby and nursing for the first few days is beneficial to you by causing uterine contractions and helping to prevent excessive bleeding.

This site tells you the benefit to baby even if you just nurse the first few days.
https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/...ow-they-add-up

With all due respect - this article is a bit offensive. Some of the facts cited therein have been disproven. While breastmilk is a super food, its benefits have been wildly overstated.


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[daisysmom]

I think there are some on this thread that are nicely, but still suggesting, that nursing is best for the OP.

I did not nurse my DD, and I am of the strong believe that breast is not best for everyone. Feeding is best for babies, and a happy mom, IMO, is the BEST. So OP, if you are feeling pressure by any suggestions of "try it for a few days" or "see if you can work through why you feel this way", I am happy to be the voice suggesting that you are right to do what is going to make you happy.

What you need to do though, is have it noted on your chart (and on baby's bassinet I believe too) that you are not going to nurse. It was noted on mine. We had plenty of skin to skin contact to encourage bonding (not to encourage nursing) and I fed her with a bottle immediately this way. One of my best friends had a baby via surrogacy 2 years ago and the same thing was done with her since she was not nursing, but she did do skin to skin contact in the hospital most of the time. The skin contact did not confuse my breasts and I never had any leaking. My DD was an extremely happy baby and while she rooted on my neck sometimes, she never rooted at the breast or was confused.

The hospital provided the formula an they were all great. One nurse tried to talk about breastfeeding to me and I immediately complained and I didn't see that nurse again. All of the others were fine and very supportive. I never got any infections and my milk dried up I guess. I wore two jog-bras for a few days, then down to one for maybe a week after birth.

My little sister had a baby 4 months ago and had a very bad experience with breastfeeding. He never gained his birthweight back and she was miserable, as was he, for 2 weeks. We thank God that she had a wonderful LC who was very honest with my sister at the 3 week mark and said "this isn't working, you are miserable and he is miserable, let's go to plan B". The pediatrician had said too that he was not getting the nourishment that he needed but this LC was able to really let my sister know that it was ok to stop nursing. She switched to formula then and within a week he was back to birthweight and the rest of infancy has been so wonderful.

Really -- it is ok to make your choice and I really pray that you don't get remarks at the hospital. Just make sure it is noted. Have your DH fight that battle for you if you want. Be firm and you will succeed.

[Green_Tea]

I would discuss it with your OB ahead of time and have her make note of your preference not to nurse on your chart. I nursed all three but told my OB ahead of time that I did NOT want baby #3 to room in with me. I knew I would be recovering from a third c section and going home to two other children under the age of four, and I wanted to sleep without worrying about the baby. My OB instructed the nurses to bring DS to me at midnight and 4 am to nurse but that I should otherwise be undisturbed. This was contrary to the hospital's policy, but since my OB ordered it, they did it. If your OB notes that you will not be nursing, they are less likely to push.

[DualvansMommy]

I would discuss it with your OB ahead of time and have her make note of your preference not to nurse on your chart. I nursed all three but told my OB ahead of time that I did NOT want baby #3 to room in with me. I knew I would be recovering from a third c section and going home to two other children under the age of four, and I wanted to sleep without worrying about the baby. My OB instructed the nurses to bring DS to me at midnight and 4 am to nurse but that I should otherwise be undisturbed. This was contrary to the hospital's policy, but since my OB ordered it, they did it. If your OB notes that you will not be nursing, they are less likely to push.

I had long complicated labor with DS1, started out vaginally but stalled at almost 10 cm after 30 hours of labor. Ended up being rushed into emergency c section when fetal heart started. Breastfeeding was quite challenging and tough for next few months, switched to bottle when I returned to work with DS1 being almost 1 year old. Ds2 was quite different, a planned c section from get go and I had no desire to nurse, told my OB who made notes in the chart.

I delivered both boys in a pro breastfeeding hospital. I did indicate that I would be open to nursing while staying in hospital. I stayed there for 4 days, my milk never really came in, so it was a non issue for me in the end. You can work with your OB to make it clear from the get go.


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