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  1. #1
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default Update in #16-Would you sit separately from an 11 and 14 year old at a concert

    So, one of dd's favorite artists will be playing at a city 2 hrs away from us this coming summer. Ds loves this artist too. When the tickets went on sale dd was very excited and insistent we go. I was okay with it. The regular tickets for the 3 of us were very far away from the stage. There were some "platinum" tickets available that were more money but not prohibitive. For some reason, they only sold them in groups of 2 (I could not buy 3 for the 3 of us). I had to make a decision quickly as tickets were selling. Ds said he didn't want me to buy him a ticket, he doesn't really want to go. Now, I know this was because ds is more aware of money realities. He also wanted to make his sister happy. He loves this artist. I asked him several times, he stayed consistent and I bought 2 tickets--for dd and myself.

    I am now regretting this. I feel bad about leaving ds out. We will be staying the night as well, as I don't really want to drive home that late after a concert. Ds loves staying in hotels. Ds knew all this and still said no thanks to the concert. It doesn't seem right though and dd is more assertive about her wants in this way. OTOH, ds does feel he gets less than her--her just doesn't always express it at the most appropriate times. I am tempted to buy myself a not so good ticket and let the kids sit together and I sit apart from them. They will be 11 and 14 by then. The venue holds about 20,000.

    Of course, if ds continues to outwardly refuse I would not..but if he is okay with it..would you do this?

    Or should I just hold ds to his word and maybe do something else with him?
    Last edited by JustMe; 02-26-2017 at 01:40 AM.
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  2. #2
    baymom is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I've never really been in this situation, but I *think* I'd be okay with it. I'd make sure at least one child had a cell phone and they stayed together at all times and then I'd be okay sitting apart from them. It sounds like your son would really enjoy the experience so much and is just trying to be 'mature' about money. But, if you can swing it, it'd be a great memory for all of you. In this situation, I wouldn't hold ds to his word. At 11 and 14, I think they'd be fine sitting apart from you.

  3. #3
    cuca_ is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    My DH recently did this with our two kids (similar ages to yours), and it was fine. I don't think their venue was as big, though. They sat at different levels, but our kids where within DHs eyesight.


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  4. #4
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    Are they able to text you? If yes, I would be OK with them sitting alone.
    Green Tea, mom to three

  5. #5
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Thanks for the replies! Yes, I would give them a phone for them to call or text, but I will say its loud enough during a concert there that I wouldn't hear the phone.

    Anyway, ds is adamant that he doesn't want to go. He would only go if he can sit next to me...just not sure what to do. It seems weird to tell him he has to go, especially since he knows he does not have a ticket at this point..but it feels like he has no idea what he is actually setting himself up for. I am all for learning from mistakes and him learning from the decisions he make..but this may be a really hard one for him and he just may not have the maturity to make this kind of decision (even thought its really mature in some ways).
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  6. #6
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    Could you buy another group of two tickets and let one of them bring a friend? Or is there a friend of yours that could sit with you? Then it would be like a group thing instead of a one person out thing.


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  7. #7
    jren is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    For a show at the theater, yes. For a music concert, no. I think I'm thinking of concerts that I went to as a teen. Lots of drugs being passed around all around us, rowdy behavior, drunks, etc. Maybe things have changed though?


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  8. #8
    trcy is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by jren View Post
    For a show at the theater, yes. For a music concert, no. I think I'm thinking of concerts that I went to as a teen. Lots of drugs being passed around all around us, rowdy behavior, drunks, etc. Maybe things have changed though?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    This was my thoughts as well.


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    DD 12/10
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  9. #9
    cuca_ is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I would listen to him. Honestly I am not a fan of concerts. Every time I go to one, I think to myself, this is the last one, no matter how much I like the artist. Has he been to one? Maybe music concerts are not his thing.

  10. #10
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    hillview is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    I'd not have him go if he doesn't want to go and not sweat it. You've asked enough.

    If they both wanted to go I likely would let them sit together -- but it really depends on the child and their ability to deal with different situations.
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

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