I'm so heartbroken

[gymnbomb]

The strong desire to throw the marriage away for both of you is really alarming to me. I hope and pray you both can forgive and strengthen your marriage through lots of work. I think you both need to think about the other 2 sweet kids that don't have a voice and want happy healthy parents together or not. I don't know your marriage and if it is savable but want you to take in to consideration a divorce would have on your kids.

While I think this is really good advice, I think it is equally important to consider what staying together would be like for the kids. Some relationships just need some hard work and are worth saving. Others are truly toxic and are a very bad environment for kids. I know my childhood was far better with a single mom and then a loving step father than it would have been if my mom had stayed with my biological father. I didn't necessarily know that when I was 6 and they split up, but by the time I was a young teen (and I maintained a relatively good relationship with him up until about a year ago) it was very clear.

[ray7694]

I'm not advocating to stay together. I think if it is salvageable or not the other kids need to be considered.

[gymnbomb]

I'm not advocating to stay together. I think if it is salvageable or not the other kids need to be considered.

Totally agree, and certainly hope it is salvageable if OP wants it to be.


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[firstbaby]

I'm so sorry you are going through so much right now. I'm sending you P&PT for peace and that you and DH can work through things. It sounds like there are a lot of issues here and I'm glad you've found a therapist you can trust and you click with.