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  1. #21
    PunkyBoo is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnj77 View Post
    It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.
    My DS1 does the same thing! For HOURS! With a fist-sized ball that looks filthy from being played with so much.
    Please excuse all my typos- typing on a kindle fire!
    Member of "I Love Brussels Sprouts" Society
    Mama to DS1 Punkin (2/04) and DS2 Boo (1/09)

  2. #22
    rlu is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnj77 View Post
    It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.
    not bouncing a ball but flipping the water bottle, drives me nuts but whatever. DS spends lots of time playing with the dog. If he's wandering aimlessly I'll tell him to brush or walk the dog. Lately DS has been listening to music in his room - he just wants time on his own and if the homework's done (also very little) and he's made progress on his merit badges we just let him be. He's almost 13 so definitely getting into teenager behavior here. I will knock on the door and then let the dog into his room otherwise the dogs pines outside the door.

    DS spends time riding his bike with his friends on weekends.
    DS Mar04, 8th grader. Life Scout. Being read Flash the Homeless Donkey.
    GoldPup (golden retriever born Dec14); Big Boy Dog (1997 - 2008); Little Girl Dog (1997 - 2005); two 10-yo (2007-2017) huge goldfish we can no longer find in MIL's fish pond
    Go Sharks! Go Mirai, Nathan, the Shib Sibs and Team USA
    Recently read The Hate U Give (highly recommend) and The Noel Diary (ok, light). Starting A Dog Named Boo.
    Pooh - "It's a beautiful day." Eeyore - "Not from where I'm sitting." Pooh - "Try standing next to me." From The Best Bear in All the World, Spring.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe View Post
    Weekends are the real problem. I like my own downtime when I don't have to do chores...and the kids just are bored and don't come up with anything other than tv. Like I said, the big problem are the weekend mornings...I want a couple of hours to just relax, drink tea, and I go for a walk. Now, that they can be home alone..there is just more free time for them. I will say the bigger problem is with dd, who is home alone after school..There's just not a whole lot I can do about that (and ds will be joining her next year), but it frustrates me when they want to watch so much tv on the weekend..and they really don't have anything else to focus on.
    my kids are a bit younger still but for the past couple of yrs my rule has been you may have screen time after X hr until I get up. Get up time depends on when they go to bed but if its 8am, they can watch tv or have computer time until they get me up for any reason. Arguing, bugging me, getting me up for breakfast - once I'm up, their screen time is over for the day unless we've made other arrangements. Makes for VERY peaceful weekend mornings!

    We have a no screen time during the week rule so I'm ok if they want to binge watch on the weekends a bit. I find that they watch for a while then read then watch again etc.
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and 2 cocker spaniels

  4. #24
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Thanks so much for all of the replies! Things were better when they were younger but it just seems like neither one developed things they like to do in the house regularly (with the exception of reading for ds and listening to music for dd- both of which they can only spend so much time on).

    I thought about this and decided I need to put this more on them. I can have all the ideas I want, but they need to identify what will work for them. So, I told them both they need to come up with lists of things they can do in the house that don't include screen time. I will give them a lot of wiggle room during winter break, but after that I go back to the tv goes back to going of at 9am on weekends (they get up early), and can be watched in the evenings on the weekends. Most likely not weekday nights unless there is something really special. I have been pretty good about limiting device time, so will just continue with that.

    If they tell me they are bored, I will remind them they can do something on their list or I can assign them a chore. (They have chores, but if they need something to do I can supply them with another one). I know they won't like this, and I am not doing it to be mean, but I am so tired of them not being able to figure out what to do with themselves other than screen time!

    Oh, I do have one question--do any of your kids like/play the ThinkFun games? I saw these mentioned on the BBB and looked them up..they do look like they would work for solitary play for kids my age. Any knowledge of this? I know it wouldn't last forever, but even a few months would be worth it as another choice.
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  5. #25
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Think fun games are awesome! My 5 yr old can play the very easiest levels of rush hour and then he loves to set up harder levels for me to solve. I bet your kids would get into them!
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  6. #26
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    Think fun games are awesome! My 5 yr old can play the very easiest levels of rush hour and then he loves to set up harder levels for me to solve. I bet your kids would get into them!
    Any ideas on 1-2 Thinkfun games that are good for the 10-13 year old range?
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  7. #27
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    OP, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you're going to put it more on them. I'll give my DDs one or two suggestions (usually dismissed out of hand) and then they're on their own. Admittedly, they are a built in playdate. But they also play on their own. Since your son likes reading, maybe he'd try his hand at writing? Maybe your DD would try to teach herself an easy instrument like a ukulele? Do they play cards? Teach them some card games they can play by together, or some solitaire games.
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  8. #28
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Thanks. Well, we had an interesting day yesterday. As I said, I do not plan to fully implement this until after winter break but I told them yesterday to start working on their lists. Dd came up with many things, while ds really struggled. This was interesting, as she is the one who struggles more to find something to do when it comes down to it. I think this is because ds really does spend so much time reading(which, of course, is fine with me, its just not something he can/want to do all the time). So, hopefully, having the list will help dd. Ds said, "Well, I just might have to do chores sometimes" and I tried to tell him that this was not necessarily a bad thing. I am thinking I need to phrase how I present that option, as I really don't mean it as a punishment, just that I will give them something to do that would be helpful for the family, if they can't think of anything they want to do.

    The most interesting thing is that, even though I had said this didn't have to happen immediately, after they made their lists the kids immediately started helping each other re-organize their rooms which took several hours. One of the reasons this has been an issue for us is that they used to play together more when they were younger, but now their interests are different enough, and dd has become a teenager who feels a need to let her little brother know it, that this just doesn't happen like it used to. I do think dd's willingness to engage with ds was in part a positive reaction to it being winter break, as she tends to be more willing to engage with him when she is away from school for a while...
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  9. #29
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Older DD reads incessantly.
    Younger DD spends most of her free time reading, playing with legos or other construction toys, or making her own art projects. She is remarkably able to entertain herself, something older DD is not as good at without books or devices.

    for Sandy Hook



  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by mnj77 View Post
    It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.
    Haha, my super athletic DS2 does this too. If he's not doing screen time then he's bouncing some kind of ball off the hallway, dribbling a soccer ball, or basketball! I can't even get him to brush his teeth without playing with a ball at the same time! Sometimes he even takes a soccer ball in the shower with him! It can be super annoying and loud at times but he has great ball handling skills when he's at his actual soccer and basketball games so maybe it's paying off lol!

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    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

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