Do you let your pre-teen/teen sleep in?

[HannaAddict]

Sleeping in is definitely not "poor sleep hygiene" - a family choice sure, and no problem if you want to have everyone up, but not a problem on days when you don't need to be out the door. I wouldn't negatively attribute judgment to sleeping in during the summer. Teens do sleep later, as a group, and is hard wired.


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[essnce629]

I could not sleep at 9 pm in the summer and there are still activities in our per group at that time! I can't imagine getting a tween or teen (or my ten year old) in bed at 9, we are still out and about. The changes with fall and getting dark earlier and the rigors of school and being tired out from it do the trick for getting back to sleep earlier during the year (still not quite that early here - sports until 8 or 8:30 pm some nights).



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I agree! DS2 is only 8 but his basketball practice over the summer is going till 8pm right now, which means we don't even get home till 8:30pm. His bedtime is 8pm normally and I'd actually like to keep it that way over the summer since he's been having trouble waking up in the morning for camp.

But yeah, teens are totally different than elementary kids and everything is more lax over the summer.

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[Green_Tea]

I could not sleep at 9 pm in the summer and there are still activities in our per group at that time! I can't imagine getting a tween or teen (or my ten year old) in bed at 9, we are still out and about. The changes with fall and getting dark earlier and the rigors of school and being tired out from it do the trick for getting back to sleep earlier during the year (still not quite that early here - sports until 8 or 8:30 pm some nights).



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Totally. DD1 (age 14) has a nightly activity that ends at 10 pm. It's a program for HS and college age kids. There's no way I could get her into bed at 9. I can't even do that during the school year!

[bisous]

So we're actually really struggling with sleep at my house and so this is a very relevant conversation for me!

Everything I've read does signify that letting kids sleep in sometimes and making them get up others is not good for their sleep patterns. If that doesn't seem to affect your child that is a very good thing! I does affect mine. He really needs regularity in order to get the rest he needs or he has problems with insomnia. We do have a slightly later schedule in the summer time and wakeup time is later to reflect that but I just make sure (like 123LuckyMom said above) that we leave enough time to transition back to "school year" schedule.

[egoldber]

Bisous, both of my kids are like this. If they sleep in super late some days and have to get up at a normal time on others, they are cranky and irritable and never seem rested. My older DD even agrees that she feels better if she doesn't sleep past 9 in the summer or on weekends in the school year. So you are definitely not alone!

[123LuckyMom]

Sleeping in is definitely not "poor sleep hygiene" - a family choice sure, and no problem if you want to have everyone up, but not a problem on days when you don't need to be out the door. I wouldn't negatively attribute judgment to sleeping in during the summer. Teens do sleep later, as a group, and is hard wired.


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Well, according to science, it is, in fact, poor sleep hygiene. That's not my opinion. It's the conclusion of many, many scientific studies. (See #7: http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/...vercoming/tips) That doesn't mean I'm judging anyone who chooses to follow a different pattern. Whatever works! As I mentioned, I have terrible trouble sleeping and have my whole life, especially as a teen. I understand the desire to sleep in, but it is better if it's a time you can wake at consistently every day. Scientific studies do show that a consistent waking time, regardless of the time you go to bed, is the best for feeling well rested and achieving healthy sleep. Going to bed at the same time nightly is likewise better as are a whole bunch of other things I generally fail to do, so I'm not judging, but the one thing I really try hard to do is have a consistent waking time. I definitely feel the difference when I sleep in. I get that sleep-hangover the article mentioned, especially if I hit the snooze alarm! That snooze thing was a really terrible invention, IMO. That's why I recommended a consistent waking time to the OP. I think it will help. And leaving enough days to transition to an earlier wake time in 15 minute increments before school starts will help, too. Studies show a 15 minute difference is easily tolerated, but more can be problematic.


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[doberbrat]

We are not morning people in our family - well except for dd2. They have a get out of bed time - depending on where we have to be that day and when they went to bed. They may not get out of bed before that time. During the school year its 7:15. During weekends and summer its 9am unless we have to be somewhere. They are welcome to read in bed, play quietly etc but may not come and bother us before that time unless its an emergency.

DD1 often will lounge in bed snoozing or reading till 11 and I let her. .... it means I get to do the same

[HannaAddict]

Well, according to science, it is, in fact, poor sleep hygiene. That's not my opinion. It's the conclusion of many, many scientific studies. (See #7: http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/...vercoming/tips) That doesn't mean I'm judging anyone who chooses to follow a different pattern. Whatever works! As I mentioned, I have terrible trouble sleeping and have my whole life, especially as a teen. I understand the desire to sleep in, but it is better if it's a time you can wake at consistently every day. Scientific studies do show that a consistent waking time, regardless of the time you go to bed, is the best for feeling well rested and achieving healthy sleep. Going to bed at the same time nightly is likewise better as are a whole bunch of other things I generally fail to do, so I'm not judging, but the one thing I really try hard to do is have a consistent waking time. I definitely feel the difference when I sleep in. I get that sleep-hangover the article mentioned, especially if I hit the snooze alarm! That snooze thing was a really terrible invention, IMO. That's why I recommended a consistent waking time to the OP. I think it will help. And leaving enough days to transition to an earlier wake time in 15 minute increments before school starts will help, too. Studies show a 15 minute difference is easily tolerated, but more can be problematic.


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Deep breath 123Mom. Your post sounds pretty judgy and I don't need to spend the time to link to studies that don't agree with you. It is fine to let a teen sleep in, tons of studies support this. By all means enforce whatever sleep rules you want at your house, but a teen sleeping in is not a big deal. Some people may be fine with those rules and they work for them, good for them. It is a good idea to gradually shift sleep cycles when summer ends but teens need sleep and it is equally okay to let them sleep with no ill effects. Really.


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[123LuckyMom]

Deep breath 123Mom. Your post sounds pretty judgy and I don't need to spend the time to link to studies that don't agree with you. It is fine to let a teen sleep in, tons of studies support this. By all means enforce whatever sleep rules you want at your house, but a teen sleeping in is not a big deal. Some people may be fine with those rules and they work for them, good for them. It is a good idea to gradually shift sleep cycles when summer ends but teens need sleep and it is equally okay to let them sleep with no ill effects. Really.


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No judgment. No deep breaths needed. I was surprised and taken aback by the vehemence of your response to my advice, which was based in pretty universally accepted science, so I did defend the information I provided, but I don't have any stake in what you choose to believe or practice. You should do whatever works best for you and your family no matter what I or anyone else has to say about it. I'm sure there are many articles about teens' need for more sleep. Certainly I wouldn't disagree with that need. I'm very familiar with sleep science having been steeped in that research for over 20 years. I definitely would never claim that sleeping later would be harmful to anyone, only that consistent wake times are best for establishing good sleep patterns, which they are. Doing almost anything on a regular schedule as a consistent discipline is best for establishing a pattern. Waking at a regularly scheduled time, like exercising at a scheduled time, eating at a scheduled time, sitting down to work at a regularly scheduled time, helps the body and mind to be ready for that activity at a regularly scheduled time. I'm not criticizing you and your choices. The printed word loses much in tone, so I'm sorry if something I said hit a nerve or sounded judgmental. Perhaps the term "poor sleep hygiene" sounded critical-- like saying someone is dirty or something, but it's a widely used term in the field of sleep study and not a personal attack or even a criticism. I'm not judging anyone, just providing information I hope will be helpful to the OP. You may, of course, disagree or offer opposing or differing advice. What's wonderful about this forum, I feel, is the range of advice we can receive when we ask.


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[AnnieW625]

For DD1 sleeping in 7:30 or 8 am; she has always been a somewhat early riser; up most days by 6:30. I was the same way and am the same way now as long as I get to bed before 11 pm. I did go through a phase in college (summer and winter break weekends) and pre kids where I would stay up until 12 midnight or 1 and then sleep until 10 or 11 am. It will be interesting to see if DD1 continues this sleep pattern.