Why? People who take advantage!

[hbridge]

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does...

What is it with people claiming "poverty" when they are not actually struggling they way they are making people believe.

Case 1: When DC was little I had a friend with two small children who was always talking about money: not being able to afford camp, preschool, clothes for the kids... ect. I gave her things and helped out when I could (we are not well off at all and struggled ourselves) only to find out that her husband had the latest and greatest of everything, including a very expensive car. I found out about this when I was talking about splurging on the latest gaming system for the kids one Christmas and she said they already had it (a very expensive system that had just come out). I guess she and her husband kept their finances separate so he had money but she was home with the kids so she did not. They just bought a HUGE house in the next town...

Case 2: A friend posted on Facebook a few years ago that they were desperate for money to help pay for trained caregivers for their disabled son. They started a GoFund account, raised money, ect. The child is now settled in a residential program. The father just posted on Facebook that he is selling his 22 year old very expensive sports car that hasn't been driven in 15 years.

I don't understand people who claim they are destitute and hope for the kindness of others, only to have resources that they don't or won't tap into.

Like I said, I don't know why this bothers me. Except that in the first case, I helped out this friend (a lot) when I had another friend that could have REALLY benefited, but she did not talk about it as much so we weren't as aware of how dire her situation was!

UGH!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Do consider that, at least in scenario 1, they could be super in debt. Can't pay for everything with a credit card so they could actually not have $$.
You're a nice person. At least your karma is clear.


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[123LuckyMom]

Sometimes there are reasons why people may be legitimately struggling and still have nice things. Sometimes wealthy family members gift big things, like houses or cars, but don't give money, and people struggle to support themselves and their things on salaries that really don't allow that level of lifestyle, and it can be very difficult to extricate oneself from a situation like that when you may not own the items outright or when your children are in a school system where you could never afford to rent or buy. Family members can often give expensive gifts to the kids, like a gaming system, while the parents are struggling just to buy groceries. I know my own mother showered us with expensive gifts when we were first starting out and desperately needed cash. We didn't want these fancy items-- things like crystal bowls and ornate silver picture frames, which weren't really our taste, but we couldn't really sell them for anything approaching their value, so we kept them and used them so as not to buy and house other bowl or frames. Someone walking into the house full of hand-me down fancy antique furniture and gifted (from childhood) art and the like would not think we were scrambling to pay the bills each month, but we absolutely were. Your friends might be crying poor or making really bad financial choices like spending money on fancy things instead of bills. It's possible, but they might be legitimately struggling while being "helped" by well-meaning but not particularly helpful family or something like that.


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[hbridge]

Thank you for putting things in perspective. I know everyone has different situations and priorities. I guess flaunting things on social media is part of my frustration.

[TwinFoxes]

#2 bothers me more than number one actually. I've learned from this board that some people keep their finances very, very separate. And if she has to pay for kids' stuff out of her budget, she could have been strapped while her DH was living large and buying gaming systems.

I don't get not selling the car.