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  1. #1
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    Default High schoolers and rules around phones/devices?

    Can we talk about what rules you have in place for your high schoolers around devices? Our household rule is that mom and dad must always know the passcode to unlock the device and we have access to it any time at a moment's notice. We don't always exercise that option - and have been "letting out the leash" a bit with our teen but it has come to bite me in the rear so I need to get more restrictive again. :/ I'm curious what other parents do with their teens because I'm hearing a lot of "none of my friends have to tell their device passcodes". I don't necessarily CARE what the friends' rules are, but I am genuinely curious how other handle this and when/how they give more freedoms and trust.

    My almost teen will almost certainly not have an issue with this because getting into trouble online isn't a thing that is of interest, but for my oldest it is a HUGE issue.

  2. #2
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Same rule here- we need to know the code and he needs to understand that we are allowed to access the phone anytime. We haven't had any problems yet.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3
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    While I'm a long way from this situation with my kids, but a couple girlfriends of mine allowed their teens to sleep with their phones in the bedrooms. I would make the teen charge and keep phone in a central space like kitchen or den, etc vs in their own rooms. Also don't encourage phone to double as their alarm system to wake up, get a stand alone alarm for that reason to keep in their rooms. It takes away the I need my phone to wake up argument.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

  4. #4
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by DualvansMommy View Post
    While I'm a long way from this situation with my kids, but a couple girlfriends of mine allowed their teens to sleep with their phones in the bedrooms. I would make the teen charge and keep phone in a central space like kitchen or den, etc vs in their own rooms. Also don't encourage phone to double as their alarm system to wake up, get a stand alone alarm for that reason to keep in their rooms. It takes away the I need my phone to wake up argument.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
    Forgot that one- we do it too.


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  5. #5
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    Yes, we also do no devices upstairs. Period. For my tween we do allow her school issue iPad upstairs for homework because she works in her room and can be trusted. THe older one does his work downstairs and we've had to be strict about no electronics upstairs ever. So crazy how different kids are despite same genes and upbringing!

    I'm most curious about rules around passwords, how often/what parents are checking etc. I always think I'm on top of it (without being TOO overpotective) then find out I've completely missed something. Even WITH Circle on our home network (and no data plans). ARGH!

  6. #6
    lfp2n is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    My DD has an iPhone and I know the code to open it- I told her thats the deal in return she has a great phone and lots of data paid by me. I periodically browse her texts and fairly frequently look at instagram. She knows I do that and is fine. The only thing she has a certain amount of trust with is snapchat as I can't read them only see who is snapping. She also has a lap top ,same passcode. I do limit time and say lets do something else if she sits staring at the phone too long, also the whole family charges their phones at a charging station in the kitchen along with her school Chromebook. We all sleep better that way plus its easier for whoever goes to bed last to kind of glance over and check everyones getting a charge!
    Lucy DD3/03

  7. #7
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    I've only checked twice in 2 years. I haven't felt the need to do more. But he's also a home body with a very small social network. He doesn't do much social media either.


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  8. #8
    almostmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    We know the passcodes, and the kids know we can check their phones anytime. I do it rarely, but I think knowing we can (and have) is a strong deterrant. We also talk about what they might be tempted to do, what is inappropriate, online dangers, etc. DD has an online etsy store where she communicates with buyers. But both kids' emails still send a copy of every incoming email to my inbox, so I see those communications (I can also go on her etsy store easily enough, but she is very professional with it).
    We also have phones charge at night downstairs.
    Liz

    DS 11/03
    DD 12/05

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Same rule here- we need to know the code and he needs to understand that we are allowed to access the phone anytime. We haven't had any problems yet.
    Same rule. DS1 is 14 and started high school today. He's had a phone for 3 years but has zero interest in social media and only plays games on his phone. He doesn't have Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, etc so we've had zero issues.

    He has to give up all screens before bed-- phone, computer, 2DS, 3DS, Playstation remotes, and sometimes his Kindle. They all live in my bedroom at night. He uses his Amazon Tap for his alarm.
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

  10. #10
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    No experience with this yet but I think until they come of age, parents should know the passcode and periodically check phones and any other electronic device. With the internet these days anything is possible and we need to protect our kids!

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