DD Got Targeted

[hillview]

nice work mama!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

oh my gosh, first off, sorry you & your dd had to go through this. how AWFUL to have to deal with this at only 12! i agree with JBaxter...your DD is awesome for how she dealt with it and kudos to you for raising such a strong woman who knows to come to you in these situations.

i just read the update - hope the school counseling team follows up. i'd definitely follow up with documentation and hope that convinces them to take action. hugs to you and your dd.

[bisous]

So many PPs have said this so well already. Your DD did great. I'm so sorry she has to deal with this right now. You're doing good things to have her so prepared and so kind and thoughtful yet so strong. I really don't have any advice, only sympathy and respect. Good luck to all of you!

[Indianamom2]

I would print if possible ALL the emails and go into the administration for both complaint and help. Honestly its a form of bullying / stalking. The boy needs help and your daughter needs a special something ( dinner fav place mom/daughter spa / nail trip) for being an amazing girl who did all the right things Praise the daylights out of that amazing young lady <3 I'd tell her it makes YOU feel like you have done a good job parenting because she came to you with this issue and how mature of her it is. I'd build her up she was able to do the right things.

I 100% agree with all of this. You should be very proud of her and definitely bring it to the attention of the school administration/counselor.

[o_mom]

In regards to contacting the police, I work with this age group. I haven't seen good outcomes from calling the police. The counseling team is my preferred first step as they have the child's best interest in mind and will know more about his home situation. But, I will be going through the emails this evening to see what sort of things he's been saying, and if needed will call CPS. DD is very strong and she said that when the kid has hugged her she's instinctively hit him hard in the gut, and it's hurt him, and she's not sure why he keeps doing it as she hurts him every single time. I will definitely address this with the director and if it continues will escalate as needed. But for now thank you for helping me stay focused on showering my DD with positive attention.

Honestly, I think you need to run, not walk, and make sure that this is taken care of before your DD goes to school again. You are putting her in a situation where she is having to physically defend herself multiple times. It can easily turn into a situation where they will punish your DD for defending herself. Do not wait to see if it escalates - insist on a plan from the administration immediately.

I might not go directly to the police unless the admin does not take it seriously, but if your school has a resource officer, I would have them involved for sure. His home situation is not relevant to the school's responsibility for making sure your DD is protected.

I hope it ends well for all involved.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Honestly, I think you need to run, not walk, and make sure that this is taken care of before your DD goes to school again. You are putting her in a situation where she is having to physically defend herself multiple times. It can easily turn into a situation where they will punish your DD for defending herself. Do not wait to see if it escalates - insist on a plan from the administration immediately.

I might not go directly to the police unless the admin does not take it seriously, but if your school has a resource officer, I would have them involved for sure. His home situation is not relevant to the school's responsibility for making sure your DD is protected.

I hope it ends well for all involved.

Absolutely. I get that you don't want to cause waves for the kid but protecting your kiddo trumps that. I'd be in the school until I sat down with people. I wouldn't just hand it off and hope they do something.


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[California]

Thank you all, I do think I will follow your advice and am going to stay with her tomorrow until I can speak to the director. I didn't hear back from the director today and am definitely uncomfortable with that.

That said, the two staff members who I spoke to this morning are ones that I really do trust. They took my older son under their wing when he was at the school, and I knew they would look after DD. One has become a personal friend who's come over to our house several times. They kept an eye on her during the day. (One is in administration and the other is a specialized support teacher who roams the school all day.) DD doesn't have a phone, and one of the staff members lent her her phone so she could call me partway through the day to check in. DD said they assured her that they are going to keep her safe.

[KpbS]

Yes to all of the pp--your DD has done a great job and you must pursue with the principal and teachers, etc to ensure the behavior stops. This is assault. I wouldn't want to scare your DD, but what's to keep this kid from pulling a weapon on her? If he is mentally unstable and sees her as a target, I would not put it past him. I would seriously consider keeping her home for the next week or few days until things are better resolved.

[citymama]

I am so so sorry your DD is dealing with this. I agree with the others that the school needs to be informed (as you've done) and I would add that the boy needs to be separated from her ASAP. They should bring in his parents and inform them of his suicide threats (I know I'd want to be informed of this as a parent) and his harassment of your DD. I would hope they would cooperate with having him move to another school in the district, get counseling, etc. He needs to be far away from her and he needs help.

Your DD needs lots of support and reassurance from you and your DH as well as school counselors and staff. She needs to get the clear message that there is zero tolerance for harassment, and that she should always feel empowered to push back, make a ruckus and be heard and supported. Poor baby.

[HannaAddict]

Your poor daughter. And what a fierce and strong young woman you have raised, great job. She is doing exactly the right thing. I doubt I would immediately call the police but I would be all over the school to do something and might even keep my child home if I hadn't heard anything from the head and what the plan to keep her safe and free from harassment and physical unwanted touching which is assault. It is hard. Since it is Friday, I might miss tomorrow until I had a chance to really address it with the school. I can't believe they haven't at the least emailed you-that would bother me since this is a serious issue. Stay strong and kudos to your daughter.


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