Why Am I the Villain If I Don't Want a Dog?

[khm]

I think you need to call the studios and ask re: dance. You are hearing they "push competitions" but certainly they have non-comp classes too. I'm knee deep into comp dance and ALL of the studios I'm aware of (and it is a lot) have a variety of classes for all levels. Many, many more kids are non-comp than comp. They can learn basic tumbling or basic ballet or basic jazz or basic pom. I just don't think you should let some feeling you have hold you back from really finding out!! In my area, there are a zillion studios. And, I live in a SMALL town, surrounded by other small towns and medium-sized suburbs. Ask around, find one that is low key and do it. It doesn't need to last forever, just something to do to get her around kids/friends. There are tumbling studios that do a 6 week cram course in backflips or whatever.

A fit at 5 shouldn't hold you back. I've seen some spectacular fits on soccer fields, baseball diamonds, basketball courts and dance floors. Now, many those fit-throwers are teens and excellent at that same sport/activity. Thank goodness they didn't walk away.

Tae kwon do? Art classes? Open gyms at tumbling studios?

What activities do other kids in your area do? I know this stuff is super location dependent.

[doberbrat]

I know its the BP and you totally have a legitimate bitch. But I"m also going to gently suggest that as much as a PIA it is to get out there when you really dont want to or its hard or whatever that it needs to be done for your daughter's sake.

She threw a fit 2 years ago doesnt mean you never try again - maybe she needs to experience that struggle to get good at things. maybe it is a struggle to not ride the bus but hanging out at the school playground after school is pretty easy way to make friends. Offer to do something for the PTO with the understanding that your circumstances may be changing job wise. They'll understand and likely be grateful for whatever help you can give now even if you cant give it in a few months.

If trial classes are out of your reach financially, then you absolutely cant afford a dog. Nothing is as awful as knowing your dogs need medical care and you cant provide it financially. And stuff happens. like the night my dogs cornered a racoon and it attacked. Both dogs really should have seen emergency vets but I simply didnt have the $500 or more it would have cost me.
It still stresses me out. I think its fair to say to your dh I dont want a dog and we cant afford one even if I did.

[DualvansMommy]

I think you need to call the studios and ask re: dance. You are hearing they "push competitions" but certainly they have non-comp classes too. I'm knee deep into comp dance and ALL of the studios I'm aware of (and it is a lot) have a variety of classes for all levels. Many, many more kids are non-comp than comp. They can learn basic tumbling or basic ballet or basic jazz or basic pom. I just don't think you should let some feeling you have hold you back from really finding out!! In my area, there are a zillion studios. And, I live in a SMALL town, surrounded by other small towns and medium-sized suburbs. Ask around, find one that is low key and do it. It doesn't need to last forever, just something to do to get her around kids/friends. There are tumbling studios that do a 6 week cram course in backflips or whatever.

A fit at 5 shouldn't hold you back. I've seen some spectacular fits on soccer fields, baseball diamonds, basketball courts and dance floors. Now, many those fit-throwers are teens and excellent at that same sport/activity. Thank goodness they didn't walk away.

Tae kwon do? Art classes? Open gyms at tumbling studios?

What activities do other kids in your area do? I know this stuff is super location dependent.

Yes to this. I know it's the bitching post, but I think I have the general idea of your location and believe theres quite few dance studios around your area within 10 miles. In my SMALLER town it seems we have in our town and 2 other surrounding towns 10 more dance studios. Each one of them have their own unique style, and the incident with your DD throwing a fit 2 years ago shouldn't mean you as a family need to forget dance options completely. She was little as a 5 year old, 2 years growth is huge from a child's perspective. Not so much for us as an adult.

DS2 threw the same tantrum on the soccer field last year and I didn't let that deter us from signing him up again THIS coming spring, since he wants to try again. Also on the introvert/extrovert, I totally get you. DH is like your DH, and I'm like you plus I always feel awkward socially with hearing people, but really have to put myself out there for my boys sake because well, they're hearing and I cannot have them having a deaf mom stop them from interesting and fun opportunities.

[Kindra178]

Gymnastics may be more fun than dance. Great strength building and large gross motor. Do you have a y? A park district? Those both offer art and legos classes around here for a very nominal
Price. What about after care?




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[doberbrat]

libraries often have after school activities like lego club that are free

[westwoodmom04]

If most rec activities are out of the budget for now, it sounds like you need to be more proactive with her school. As you are a self-described introvert, you seem reluctant to do most of what has been suggested in that vein. But if dd is lonely, you may no choice but to act outside your comfort zone. I'd start with contacting her teacher to see who might be a good match for her, or reaching out to some of the other girl scout families. Have you had a chance to observe her at school to see who she gravitates to? No matter what it is going to require more outreach than you have been willing to take on so far. And you may have some girls who decline play dates, so be prepared to keep going even if that does happen, not every kid will be the right match.

And I agree with others, a dog is completely irrelevant to addressing your daughter's loneliness and will not be cheap.

[KpbS]

Adding to the chorus, stay strong, don't get the dog. I'd try to psyche myself up for a gerbil/hamster before a dog given your feelings and situation.

But, I really like pp suggestion of finding an afterschool club. Our local library has a weekly Lego building club--totally free. No need to sign up, just show up and build. Great way to let your kid socialize, build with Legos you don't have to buy/step on/fuss at the kid to clean up, etc. I think adding just one activity per week can make a big difference. If you go to Lego club one day a week and to the park to play (even just 30-45 min) another day, you've added a lot to her social/play schedule.

Sending big hugs, Lizzy.

[mikala]

Approaching this from a different angle, are there any social skills groups your daughter could join? I mention it because I think I remember an ADHD or similar dx in another thread and you've expressed some concern in about her behavior and how she's perceived. A group like that could be a facilitated chance to engage with potential friends that are also learning skills and aren't as potentially judgy.