Bus driver issues

[khalloc]

I may have posted about this last school year. basically DS hates riding the school bus and it's always because of his bus driver. She seems to be singling him out and disciplining him and only him when things get to be too much while she's driving. He's a good kid. Yes, he can talk loud. But from what my DD has told me last year and from what DS tells me this year, there are other kids being much much worse - jumping to touch the ceiling of the bus, ripping up paper and throwing it around. DS says sometimes he is reading a book and she will yell at him for no reason for something someone else did. Last year I spoke to the assistant principal about this because he was miserable then and he wanted to at least be able to sit with a friend. They worked things out and it was ok for a couple of weeks and then the bus driver started up again. This year it's more of the same. Yelling his name (but no one else's) making him come up and sit in the very first seat (his usual seat is row 4 or so), etc. sometimes he comes off the bus about to cry. He doesn't enjoy being singled out. Do I approach the principal again? I'm at the point where I will consider boarding the bus at pick up or drop off and confront her myself. But if I do that, what should I say? I don't want to be a b!tch but at the same time I might need to. Both my kids said she used to pick on another boy until one day his mom came on the bus and yelled at her and she stopped and moved on to my son. ☹️

Do I ask the principal to handle it again and give it a week and then take matters into my own hands? I understand needing kids to behave but it really sounds like she has chosen my kid to take everything out on. I can't be picking him up from school everyday because he hates his bus driver.

[MrsZaz]

Some buses are equipped with cameras - maybe check to see if your bus company has them. Then request to see the video.

[doberbrat]

I would speak to the principal and ask to see the tapes. Failing that, I would contact the transportation company or transportation dept of the school .... I would not confront the driver directly. No good can come of it.

[robinsmommy]

I would try to see tapes. If you confront her and she moves on to another kid, it doesn't really solve the problem. She either needs serious retraining, or, more likely, a different job - if nothing else she needs to know that she answers to someone and that they are keeping an eye on her.

I couldn't drive a bus, either - but I wouldn't sign up to be a bus driver to start with.

[Hemlock]

I would speak to the bus driver directly, but not in a confrontational manner. Something like “I understand that you’ve had some issues with my DS, can you tell me what has been going on”. This makes her aware that your child is talking to you about her behaviour, which might make her think twice before picking on him again.

[hbridge]

Start with the school. However, make sure they are in touch with the transportation company and that this is discussed with the driver. This is NOT OKAY!!! Especially since all the kids know that no matter what they do, your son will be blamed! For us the bus was a disaster on so many levels. So for awhile I drove DC to/from school. Is that an option until this gets straightened out?

Also, are there kids on the bus that can back up your son's version of what is happening?

Definitely, don't wait to contact the school. if something of greater magnitude happens in the mean time and your son is blamed, it will be more difficult.

[robinsmommy]

Start with the school. However, make sure they are in touch with the transportation company and that this is discussed with the driver. This is NOT OKAY!!! Especially since all the kids know that no matter what they do, your son will be blamed! For us the bus was a disaster on so many levels. So for awhile I drove DC to/from school. Is that an option until this gets straightened out?

Also, are there kids on the bus that can back up your son's version of what is happening?

Definitely, don't wait to contact the school. if something of greater magnitude happens in the mean time and your son is blamed, it will be more difficult.

I hadn't thought of it this way, but yep, the other kids are probably using him as a scapegoat. So what the bus driver is doing backfires on her and DS - the other kids will just misbehave more, since they know they can get away with it. I am a little worried that this could eventually creep into other areas of school life for DS. Or that he could end up acting out, similar to the other kids, because if he is going to be blamed anyway, why not make use of it? My older one might not do that - but younger DD probably would when she got frustrated enough.

[khalloc]

Thanks. I guess I will email and speak with the assistant principal (she is the one that handles the busing) and go from there.

DS says other kids on the bus will make remarks like "You weren't even talking!" when she yells at DS and demands that he come sit in the very 1st seat on the bus. DS also commented that last year she had the rear-view mirror pointed to the left of the bus where she made him sit. And this year she points it to the right of the bus where she makes him sit this year!

He hasnt had too much trouble at school. He's no saint, dont get me wrong. But I really do think he tries to be good and listen. I dont think he deserves to be singled out and yelled at daily. And even DD who is 2.5 years older and very trust-worthy has said there are far worse kids on the bus than him. She rides a different bus this year since they are at different schools now. But he has 1.5 years left at this school.

[american_mama]

I say start with the principal or assistant principal, whichever is better for you, but make sure the transportation department is involved. I think the bus driver's supervisor is in that department and the principals have limited influence. When I had a bus driver problem, I talked to the elementary school principal who called the bus company on the phone while we were together. The principal meant well, but he didn't get hold of quite the right person nor was a fully prepared to take advantage of a three-way conversation.

And I do think that just making the driver/bus company know that you are watching might temporarily improve the situation. When/if it regresses, you do it again. Short of her losing her job or getting re-assigned, this improvement/ regression may be a pattern, but if you are the squeaky wheel, hopefully most of the time the driver will stay on the improvement side and that may be all you can achieve.

[khalloc]

I emailed the assistant principal. She said she would check if the bus had video cameras. It probably does. And if so we could get the tapes next week and look at them. So stay tuned. I'm not expecting My kid to be a saint. He's not. But he shouldn't be the only kid yelled at. He should be able to talk without her having to switch his seat.