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  1. #11
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    My oldest is only 14 but we limit screens quite a bit. We aren't entirely alone. I have other friends who also limit their children's technology and then I have friends who have pretty much no limits. I have not yet met a family that has lamented that they waited too long to introduce screen technology to their children or that they somehow managed to raise a child who doesn't have digital competency in the modern age. I don't think screens should be feared. I think in as far as they are useful to the family, by access to texting and calls, apps for homework, some permitted recreational use during specified times on specified apps, that phones and tech can be useful and beneficial but far more often I see lots of problems with technology. I think it is totally okay to set limits and it is even okay to be the only person that you know setting limits.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustMe View Post
    Thanks for the replies!



    Yes, see this is the issue. I don't want to take away their right (especially dd's) to communicate with friends, but it sucks that this is so tied up with all the rest of it.
    I think they put the phones in a centralized place, like the kitchen. So he could receive texts if needed. But no going to his room to hang out with it.
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  3. #13
    mmsmom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    This thread made me think about my teenage days... I would spend hours talking on the phone (an actual landline phone with a cord!) I did homework while on the phone and would keep a running list of people i wanted to call or needed to call back. When i was out for dance class or another activity the best part of going home would be the list my mom would give me of who called. So as much as I dislike kids on devices I don’t know that it is all that different from my generation talking on the phone all the time. However at least my generation actually talked to communicate, learned phone manners and spoke to adults who would answer when you called a friend. I also remember families had different rules about phone use... some limited time, some hours, some days... so I think it is a common teenage problem it’s just the device has changed.

  4. #14
    JustMe is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmsmom View Post
    This thread made me think about my teenage days... I would spend hours talking on the phone (an actual landline phone with a cord!) I did homework while on the phone and would keep a running list of people i wanted to call or needed to call back. When i was out for dance class or another activity the best part of going home would be the list my mom would give me of who called. So as much as I dislike kids on devices I don’t know that it is all that different from my generation talking on the phone all the time. However at least my generation actually talked to communicate, learned phone manners and spoke to adults who would answer when you called a friend. I also remember families had different rules about phone use... some limited time, some hours, some days... so I think it is a common teenage problem it’s just the device has changed.
    This is interesting. I agree there are similarities, but what bothers me more is the differences including that there is a screen involved, that there is a lot of passivity involved, that for many kids this is much more appealing then actually getting together with friends, and yes that the social media/texting is different than the type of communicating in person. I actually do think it is really different than previous generations, as there is nothing to really base decision making on...also, you didn't carry your landline around with you, other people used it, etc.
    lucky single mommy to almost 16 yr old dd and almost 13 yr old ds through 2 very different adoption routes

  5. #15
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    DS1 is 14 and in 9th grade. He's had a smartphone since 6th grade, but it was my super old Samsung Galaxy Victory that had like no memory and could basically support 1 app at a time, so he basically went the first 2.5 years only being able to text, listen to music, and play one game. He now has a Samsung Galaxy J3 (so nothing super new or fancy) but he has zero interest in social media and still just uses his phone to listen to music, play games, and text. It's not the phone he's obsessed with, it's video games! On the weekends, with no limits, he'd play video games (PS4) from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed, without getting dressed or eating the whole day (I've tested him before)! So we're constantly adjusting screen time rules when it comes to him. I usually have him give his input on what he thinks is reasonable (like "do you think it's ok for you to have 5 hours of screen time on a school day if you don't have homework?") Right now our current screen time rules are:

    Weekdays
    * homework and chores must be completed before any screen time (although I can't stop him from watching/listening to YouTube if he's doing homework on his computer). His school has very little homework so that's been an issue lately since he has too much free time.
    * screen time ends at 8:45pm, bedtime at 10pm
    * he has archery one day a week and also must help me make dinner one day a week so that limits his screen time even more on those days

    Weekends
    * 5 hours of screen time a day (I have to cut him off or he never will)

    Every Day
    * no screens in the bath (he takes a bath specifically so he can sneek in his computer, phone, or kindle)
    * phone, Nintendo DS, kindle, laptop, and PS4 remotes must be in my room at night (if they're in the kitchen he'll just get up to go to the bathroom and grab a screen to sneak in his bed)
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
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  6. #16
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    Constant battle at our house too. Screens are SO addictive. My kids use Snap Chat, Youtube and Netflix primarily, but they are on their phones constantly. They are 12 and 14.

    My 12 year old has always been screen-focused. He went from the TV, to playing Xbox, to playing games on the iPod, then iPhone, watching YouTube videos and now watching Netflix. He will also watch while doing homework or play Xbox at the same time as watching a show.

    My 14 year old is more obsessed with SnapChat and texting his friends, but he also watched videos.

    We don't allow phones or computers in bedrooms after 9 pm.

    Part of me is concerned with so much screen time, but part of me says that some of it's normal as I talked on the phone for hours or watched MTV (lol) while doing homework. WE definitely talk about screen time as a family and frequently tell them to put it away and go outside for a while. Not sure that there's an easy answer and it seems like every parent is in the same boat.
    Karen
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    Mom to 2 hockey-playing, Lego-loving boys DS1 2003 & DS2 2005

  7. #17
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    I use the app our pact which allows me to schedule phone/ipad time or block immediately. It disables all apps including texting.

  8. #18
    Kindra178 is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmsmom View Post
    This thread made me think about my teenage days... I would spend hours talking on the phone (an actual landline phone with a cord!) I did homework while on the phone and would keep a running list of people i wanted to call or needed to call back. When i was out for dance class or another activity the best part of going home would be the list my mom would give me of who called. So as much as I dislike kids on devices I don’t know that it is all that different from my generation talking on the phone all the time. However at least my generation actually talked to communicate, learned phone manners and spoke to adults who would answer when you called a friend. I also remember families had different rules about phone use... some limited time, some hours, some days... so I think it is a common teenage problem it’s just the device has changed.
    Yes to this. My mother used to say that I was born with the phone attached to my ear. No phone in the room overnight is really our only limit. No screens at mealtimes either.

  9. #19
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    I feel like it's a losing battle definitely but gotta keep trying!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmsmom View Post
    This thread made me think about my teenage days... I would spend hours talking on the phone (an actual landline phone with a cord!) I did homework while on the phone and would keep a running list of people i wanted to call or needed to call back. When i was out for dance class or another activity the best part of going home would be the list my mom would give me of who called. So as much as I dislike kids on devices I don’t know that it is all that different from my generation talking on the phone all the time. However at least my generation actually talked to communicate, learned phone manners and spoke to adults who would answer when you called a friend. I also remember families had different rules about phone use... some limited time, some hours, some days... so I think it is a common teenage problem it’s just the device has changed.
    I think yes and no - yes, many of us were on the phone a lot. But my mom and dad pretty much knew who my friends were and could hear most of the conversations. This is said to be the first generation in which kids basically have friends that are out of ear shot from parents and basically out of the parents' purview or ability to assess. That's a big difference.

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