Thanksgiving woes

[sariana]

Yeah, I don't think this is about the food. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that.

[specialp]

I think a lot of us bite our tongues through holidays to keep the peace. Understandable. The good is you still have Thanksgiving with your family on the day itself (that's great actually) and you know you and SIL1 are in the same boat and treated similarly so it's really MIL's issue, not you personally.

[marinkitty]

Well, she sounds like a bit of a monster in law. That stuff with not allowing food that has been brought to be put out is totally rude and utter nonsense. I'd loathe that too. And personally steak for Thanksgiving wouldn't be my jam either (and I like steak). BUT - you go and grin and bear it and come here and bitch away and we will sympathize with you! Family dynamics are crazy making.

As for what you will actually eat, I tend to not try to supplement the actual meal in a situation like this, but show up with a fabulous antipasto board or cheese plate and plop it down wherever everyone is gathered in front of the hungry masses before the meal and eat my fill before the actual sit down. I also always bring something I like to drink "to share" and then by the time we sit I'm pretty full of things I brought and like and have had a glass or two of something I enjoy and I can have a little of this or that and then its done and we can go home and talk about how insane our relatives are.

Good luck!

[petesgirl]

I go to keep the peace. ILs are nice people for the most part, and help us out regularly, since they're much more local than my family. DH is already upset that we don't see them on Thanksgiving Day since that's my dad's family's big reunion. SIL1's family also gets together that day, so we kind of band together and force the issue of an early Thanksgiving. FIL & I get along great, and for the most part I get along with both BILs. SIL2 is a good bit younger, so I don't quite have the long term relationship with her I do with SIL1. (SIL1 & I were introduced to the family on the same day at FIL's family reunion. We've been through it all together.) MIL just doesn't really like me or SIL1. So, I generally limit my time dealing with her.

This is how I deal with my ILs a lot of the time--just trying to keep the peace. I try to band with the few I can relate to and try to steer clear of the ones I can't handle. Good luck tomorrow!!

[MMMommy]

With more background info now, it really seems that MIL is a PITA and controlling. Help yourself to lots of drinks! I'm so sorry about the dynamics.

[niccig]

Does it make a difference if DH suggests something or he’s the one to carry in the food saying he brought it for everyone?

DH said he wanted my apple pie for Thanksgiving that we’re spending at MILs. So DH told his mom that I will make the pie. Not sure how she feels about it, but DH organized it all with her. I didn’t volunteer, in fact, I’d rather not make it as it takes a long time to make. It’s happening because MIL won’t argue with DH.


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