Marriage book or relationship helper as a gift?

[mackmama]

We are getting a present for some very young newlyweds (age 18yo) that are struggling in their marriage and lives. Instead of giving them a material "thing" (which they don't need since they've moved in with one of their parents), we want to give them something that will help their marriage. Maybe a marriage book or something. Can anyone recommend something that would be a good gift?

ETA - not looking for a self-help book or something that will come across wrong - just a gift idea focused on helping their marriage.

[ChicagoNDMom]

I’ll bite. I think it is well-intended but not a good idea. To me, this falls in the same category as giving an overweight friend a book on healthy eating. How about a gift card to a restaurant for a date night? It can be stressful to live with parents.

[truly scrumptious]

Not sure of your relationship with them, but I'd steer clear of marriage-helper books as gifts because I think that the receiver could feel defensive. I'd lean toward supporting them in other ways:
- More general relationship books like "Five Love Languages"
- Individual self-help or self-actualization or self-care books to help them grow as individuals (and as a result make good relationship decisions)
- Offers of in-person support or advice - maybe a coupon book for a quality time (like a weekly coffee or phone date) with you just to talk and catch up (unspoken: you can help them with relationship advice during these sessions) - maybe pair with a nice coffee mug and some coffee/snacks into a little gift basket.

[roobee]

I’ll bite. I think it is well-intended but not a good idea. To me, this falls in the same category as giving an overweight friend a book on healthy eating. How about a gift card to a restaurant for a date night? It can be stressful to live with parents.

This was 100% my thought too, right down to the suggestion of a gift card for a restaurant.

I would not want to be known as the person that gives hints as Christmas gifts.

Sent from my LG-H811 using Tapatalk

[petesgirl]

I’ll bite. I think it is well-intended but not a good idea. To me, this falls in the same category as giving an overweight friend a book on healthy eating. How about a gift card to a restaurant for a date night? It can be stressful to live with parents.

Agree with the above!

[mackmama]

OP here- yes we're all on the same page. Not looking to give a counselor-ish book, just a gift that will assist their marriage instead of a new toaster. Keep the ideas coming! I like the gift card for a meal. The Five Love Languages is a great idea too.

[Charlie]

What about movie tickets? A night away? Some other fun activity to bond over - amusement park, bowling, escape room, etc?

[khm]

Beyond gift cards for a night out, I don't think there is much a gift can do to assist their marriage. I think books can be wonderful help, but are not wonderful gifts. They need to be the ones to decide to go that route.

I wouldn't even do Five Love Languages. Just straight up give them something to get them out of the house.

I completely understand the impulse to try and help, but it just really won't come off well, nor does an unsolicited book have much hope of helping. It just seems lose-lose.

I would continue to reach out and be an ear for her (or him, not sure the relationship), but I could just see her bursting into tears upon receiving a relationship book at Christmas while living with parents, etc.

[mom2binsd]

I would avoid any books, these are 18 year olds struggling with their marriage, they need something fun. I'd hate to have them open a book and be disappointed/reminded that things are tough. Not everyone will take the Love Languages book well, especially the 18 year old boy. Dinner at a fondue restaurant, if affordable a night at a local hotel (they are newlyweds living with a parent, not much privacy I'm guessing).

I think suggestions to their parents if they are asking for help is where the recommendation for books would be best.

I'm hoping that there is someone assisting them, getting married at such a young age has many struggles and I can't imagine my DD being married in 3.5 years. Hope there are supportive adults in their lives. If they seek help from you maybe steer them in the right direction, but make Christmas light hearted.

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk

[pinkmomagain]

Is this a wedding gift or a Xmas gift?