I don't know why SIL thinks this is OK!

[StantonHyde]

A friend of mine said the following while I was griping about my ILs "there just is no explaining some people". This has become my new mantra. Cuz really, its true!!!

[MMMommy]

I forgot to mention that they like to bring their own food too, that they eat without offering some to anyone else. Like tonight they cooked up some shrimp and divided it evenly between their family members only.

Wow. I'm scratching my head at this one. This is very rude.

[Pear]

If we were taking Dd to a gift exchange where she isn’t included, we would bring a gift for her to open too. Do the adults really open Christmas gifts in front of the kids who get nothing? That is bizarre.

[belovedgandp]

I'd go with weird. To do this year after year knowing what the norm is is just passive aggressive and self centered.

[petesgirl]

If we were taking Dd to a gift exchange where she isn’t included, we would bring a gift for her to open too. Do the adults really open Christmas gifts in front of the kids who get nothing? That is bizarre.

The gift exchange is a little difficult because DH has 4 siblings married with kids and 3 younger unmarried brothers. So the gifts to married siblings are family gifts--games, family tickets to an event, a treat for the family to enjoy, etc-not adult specific gifts. So the kids are involved in opening and enjoying those gifts. Also MIL and FIL have a small gift for each grandchild to open, that is usually a toy of some kind. So I really can't see any reason why SIL's kids need extra gifts to open.

[StantonHyde]

Doesn't MIL find this bizarre?? My mom would put a stop to that.

[Corie]

Doesn't MIL find this bizarre?? My mom would put a stop to that.

I was wondering the same thing.

Also, what do the other married siblings with kids say? I can't believe someone hasn't spoken up. Someone in my family would have shut that down
immediately!

[marinkitty]

I just really do not understand these people who dole out gifts in front of people they have excluded from their gift giving. WTH is wrong with people?

I also don't get not confronting the person about it. If for no other reason than to be totally clear that the reason is that they are assholes, vs just being clueless or having some mistaken impression that it doesn't bother other people.

I know families are all strange, but it shocks me what people put up with without speaking up about it. Even if it won't change anything, why not at least call them on it?

That's just a lot of adults letting something go on and on that is totally rude and inappropriate.

[petesgirl]

Doesn't MIL find this bizarre?? My mom would put a stop to that.

My MIL already has a strained relationship with SIL because MIL is very opinionated and SIL will totally blow up at the drop of a pin. I've witnessed some pretty gruesome exchanges between them and now I think MIL has just resorted to keeping the peace and walking on eggshells around SIL.
Apparently nobody (including myself..since I'm venting about it here) has the backbone to say anything to her. And honestly, I don't know if it bothers anyone else; I haven't talked to anyone else about it and everyone seems perfectly happy to oblige her when she pulls out her kid's gifts.