Birthday party question

[carolinacool]

I doubt there are ten “bullies” in the grade. That seems rather extreme. I’m again amazed at how judgmental parents are about small children. If a child has formed close friendships, have a smaller party.


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I didn't say there were 10.

OP, hope you've been able to finalize your list!

[Kindra178]

OP here, and fundamentally I agree with this.

We have always been very inclusive in the past (much more so than most other parents in our grade actually), but this year DC is naturally forming closer relationships with some than others and has very good reasons about not inviting the 10 on the original list. To try to talk DC into inviting those kids would send the wrong message imo.

I totally disagree with you. You cannot invite 2/3 of the grade. A first grader does not have the emotional capacity to decide such things - HA is 100 percent correct. This is a teachable moment. It doesn’t matter if you have been more inclusive than others in past situations. It’s going to get out that certain kids aren’t invited - parents talk.


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[boilermakermom]

I totally disagree with you. You cannot invite 2/3 of the grade. A first grader does not have the emotional capacity to decide such things - HA is 100 percent correct. This is a teachable moment. It doesn’t matter if you have been more inclusive than others in past situations. It’s going to get out that certain kids aren’t invited - parents talk.


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Total teachable moment. I couldn't agree more with this!!!! 1st graders can not understand why they are/are not invited. Yes, parents talk. Some parents/kids will be hurt they aren't invited and will probably read more into it. The kids are too young to understand.

Not sure how your school works, at ours, invites would be returned to the birthday parent with communication from either the teacher or principal. We are not allowed to hand out invites if we are excluding kids. It is either all girls, or all boys, or the whole class. All or nothing. If you want to exclude a portion of the class, then hand out the invites outside of school. Text the parents or drop the invite off at their house.

And make sure your DC understands not to talk about it at school, especially, in front of those excluded.

Personally, at that age, I loved class parties. You get a chance to get to know the kiddos outside of school, and a chance to meet and chat with parents. Super helpful in the coming years when social drama starts and you only get a portion of the story from your DC. I have made some awesome mom friends from these parties!!!