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  1. #1
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    Default Overnight Care

    LF advice for a single mother who occasionally works night shift. Right now grandparents keep kids overnight. Mother has a serious BF, but they are still working on integrating their families and right now she doesn't want her kids to do overnights there with his older kids. Grandparents are loving, but grandfather occasionally loses his temper and upsets her oldest, who is a super sensitive, serious kid. I think as the kids get used to each other the rough older kid and the super sensitive kid will work things out, but it will take time and effort. Her BF says she needs to stop coddling the sensitive one and frankly I agree. She can't afford daycare prices, but I'm going to try to see if their are any low cost programs 8n her area. What would you do? Stick with temperamental grandparents or try to work on integrating their families?

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  2. #2
    sunnyside is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I would find another option. I would not want my child staying overnight with a person who loses his temper, or in a situation where they were with BF's family and not doing well. I would find an overnight babysitter.
    Mama to two sweet girls - Summer 2010 and Spring 2015

  3. #3
    jgenie is online now Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyside View Post
    I would find another option. I would not want my child staying overnight with a person who loses his temper, or in a situation where they were with BF's family and not doing well. I would find an overnight babysitter.
    I agree - neither option would work for me on a regular basis. In an emergency with no other choices would be different.
    for Carmen

  4. #4
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    ^^ I would trust a mother who isn’t comfortable with overnight visits yet. Coddling or not, she’s the one out of the entire scenario who knows her child best. If given the 2 choices, what is the child's preference?

  5. #5
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    Anyone have experience with finding overnight care? Should she start with mom's of other classmates? I'm not sure where to tell her to begin.

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  6. #6
    WatchingThemGrow is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    school social worker? care.com? overnight job seems like not a great fit for a single mom, right?

  7. #7
    mmsmom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Can she afford a babysitter? I think that would be best option. The babysitter would be able to sleep while kids are sleeping so it may not be too hard to find someone. I’m thinking a college student who lives at home would be a good option. She would need to pay an hourly rate standard for your area when kids are awake (here it would be $12-15/hour) then she could negotiate a flat fee for sleeping hours (maybe $25-30). I would look anywhere you would look for a babysitter. Here we have a Facebook group, or Care.com or local colleges.

  8. #8
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    Is she in a university/college town? A mature student would be a good option.


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  9. #9
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Default Overnight Care

    She should invest the research into finding a better fit job wise for her family.
    Iím put off by the ďcoddlingĒ statement. If grandpa is really upsetting when he loses his temper, itís legitimate to support the kiddoís feelings. What does grandpa do when he gets mad? Would he ever hurt the kids physically? It just sounds like a terrible plan and Iím not sure there really are any good free options available.

    Thatís a really big ask to ask random classmates too. Not that someone might not come through, especially if itís only short term while Mom works to find a different job. I wouldnít accept it as a forever solution.


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  10. #10
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    Overnight care is going to be relatively pricey. I agree with others that she needs to find a job without overnights. You canít really ask a friend unless itís super rare, like once every few months.

    That said, I do know a single mom who used to work night shift. She would ask friends and they would let her son sleep over because they felt so bad for her (barely scraping by, on the brink of poverty.). But it really messed with her child who needed his mom at night. Kid ended up being diagnosed as bipolar (and he had some violent tendencies), and then the friends stopped letting the boy sleep over since they didnt want their kids to be around a mentally unstable child. Very sad story.


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