Family vacation woes

[petesgirl]

My SIL keeps pushing for my parents to play an extended family vacation this summer. My DH has the week of July 23rd-28th off, he has to turn in his vacation requests in January so this was decided a few months ago. Also, it's super hard for him to get vacation time in July so we are lucky he has this. So my parents want to do a short camp out that weekend. Now SIL is throwing a fit because the last morning of the camp out falls on her birthday and she doesn't want to spend her birthday driving. That's the only reason she is giving for why this week doesn't work for them. Gah. I'm so annoyed. She is a 27 yr old adult. It won't kill her this one year to go on a 2-hr drive on her birthday. She wants to do it two weeks earlier but then we couldn't go, because my DH has to work. But, yeah, that's not important - as long she doesn't have to drive home on her birthday.

[KrisM]

DS2 turned 9 last July. We woke up in a hotel in Rock Springs WY. We went to bed in Denver CO. He spent quite a few hours in the car on his birthday. He had way more reason to complain than your SIL, since he is only 9! He had a couple gifts to open, a fun dinner with a rarely seen cousin, and a birthday in TWO STATES! haha. Plus, we then celebrated it a week later at home with the regular stuff. Seems to me, your SIL should be able to find a way to get over the birthday thing. It's just a day - pick a closer one and celebrate then instead. Sorry you're dealing with that.

[StantonHyde]

Oh good grief. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. We have to put in for DH's vacation 6 mos in advance too--drives me nuts that people don't understand why we can't just change it with a snap of the fingers. And summers are hard for us to get off as well--I feel for you! And what a twit--2 hours??????? That's it?? yeesh. Deep breaths, lots of them. as a friend of mine says, "there just is no explaining some people".

[TwinFoxes]

Does she know all this...that your DH has to plan in advance and you wouldn't be able to attend the week she wants? I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. But, sheesh. Driving just a couple of hours on a birthday isn't a big deal. When I was 27 I was totally single, and I still didn't expect my birthday to be a huge deal. Pretty much 21 was the last time I expected a huge to-do.

[hillview]

she needs to grow up. Whoever is related to her or her DH should call her and sort it out.

[belovedgandp]

Full disclosure - I LOVE my birthday. I'm a complete princess about it. But in this case, so what? Especially for a whole two hours? There's something else going on or she just really doesn't want to go.

DS2 spent the entire day of his 10th birthday in the car. We woke up and wore birthday hats to breakfast at the hotel and stuck a candle in a muffin. Then we drove 700 miles home. Stopped at a sub shop for dinner. Bought a cake next door to take home and went home to do laundry.

[klwa]

Sorry you're having to deal with your sis being a bottom about this one. Two years ago, on my fortieth birthday, I spent the day at work, followed by a three hour drive so I could be there for my step-niece's wedding the next day. Wouldn't have had it any other way. This year, my birthday is on Easter Sunday, which means getting up at the crack of dawn to cook for the family reunion at lunch. (At least I don't have to cook for Sunrise Service this year since another church is in charge of breakfast this year!) And I'll do it with a smile on my face because I'm an adult.

Hugs!

[petesgirl]

Does she know all this...that your DH has to plan in advance and you wouldn't be able to attend the week she wants? I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. But, sheesh. Driving just a couple of ours on a birthday isn't a big deal. When I was 27 I was totally single, and I still didn't expect my birthday to be a huge deal. Pretty much 21 was the last time I expected a huge to-do.

She did not initially know all this, but after her first request to change the week we explained it all. It simply isn't possible for him to change weeks now and trading just a few days here and there is not allowed. I did tell her I don't want our family to be the driving force behind the dates and asked her why that particular week wouldn't work for them. The only reason she has given to my mom and to me is that she doesn't want to be driving home on her birthday. Her and my brother aren't taking time off work for this, they are just coming for the weekend no matter when we do it. I would definitely understand if they already had vacation time off for the other week but they don't. I get that birthdays are a big deal to some people but still... It's one year.

[KrisM]

Can she just take the next day off and stay another night on their own? Then she can do what she wants on her birthday.

[hbridge]

Go and have fun! Let your SIL figure her own situation out! Especially, if you are going for a week and she will be joining you for a weekend. Tell her what you are doing and let her worry about what she is going to do.

We are always the family that struggles to attend family functions. DH is the only member of his family who has a very structured work schedule. The family does NOT understand and is often upset because they want "everyone together"... We do what we can, that's all we can do.

Families can be difficult, focus on your parents and immediate family.