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  1. #1
    lcarlson90 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default Lack of hobbies/interests

    DS is 13 and has no interests/hobbies other then watching You-tube and playing video games. Growing up he played baseball, football and basketball. He was never really great at sports so when he stopped wanting to play I assumed it was because he became aware that the other kids were better then him. He was part of the chess club in grade school and really liked it until about 6th grade when he lost interest.

    He has been in cub scouts since 1st grade and is now a boy scout and always seemed to enjoy that and now he wants to quit. I hate the idea of forcing my kid to stay in scouts if he doesn't want to, but I think it's good for him and it's really the only social thing he does. Does this sound like normal teen boy behavior is are these signs of depression? I'm just afraid if I let him quit he won't have any outside social activities.
    Gavin 7.30.08
    Dylan 2.24.05

  2. #2
    ged is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    I think that's not abnormal behavior for a teen boy. But I dont have boys, so other will be more qualified to chime in. All I can think of is my girlfriend who said they had a horrible trip abroad bc her son (also 13) was so addicted to a video game that they basically did no sightseeing, could not go out to eat, etc. They spend a lot of their time in Tokyo at the 7-11!! I couldnt believe it, but I kinda could :/

  3. #3
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I have a child about the same age who wants to try EVERYTHING once; it rarely sticks, but DC will try it, so take this as simple advice...

    Could you voice your concerns to him and let him know the importance of activities outside of school? Then, see what he wants to try. Let him know he needs one "activity" and let him determine what that will be. If he doesn't have any ideas, but prepared with a list of possibilities that you have researched: farm programs, rock climbing at an indoor gym, a woodworking/pottery/masonry class..

  4. #4
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    Does he have a decent amount of friends? Friends who he hangs out with in real life? Does he have any passions (other than video games)?

    As a kid, I didnít do many activities, in part because my parents both worked full time and couldnít drive me to anything during the week. It really negatively impacted my self esteem and social life in middle school and high school. I never stayed in things like chorus or band (those I could have done without my parents having to drive me anywhere), and now I wish I would have. My DD is 12 and Iím adamant she have a few activities. Sheís in swim team, chorus, and band. She wants to quit band (teacher this year is mean), but I wonít let her.


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    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

  5. #5
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    On my recent trip I ran into two of my former roommates with VERY different lives, both had boys that were 14 (like my DS) and both of them had a very similar complaint. The kids didn't want to do anything at all or even ever leave the house. They both also only ever wanted to do video games. DS1 hasn't quite reached this level yet. I think I kind of determined that SOME KIND of activity would be required and that if my DS didn't have a pick it would be working with a service organization.

    So yes, I think it is very normal. I also think it is okay to require at least one activity. He can pick if he can come up with an idea, otherwise you get to pick it. That would work with my DS but would not work with some kids so take it with a grain of salt.

  6. #6
    mom2binsd is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Both of my kids are completely the opposite and all of their friends are also very active, either in travel sports or rec sports. The teen age boys we know are all into video games to some extent too, but it's a situation where they play for a bit when they are home when not playing one of their sports.

    I guess my question would be what type of social interaction does he have? Does he hang out with his classmates, neighbors? My kid's closest friends are either through sports and they both have a best friend (who happen to be same age brother and sister as mine) who lives 3 doors down so they are always hanging out.

    As long as he's getting some physical activity (does he bike ride/swim in the summer for fun/go to trampoline parks/skateboard?) and has some social interaction I wouldn't worry, but I do think kids need to have some socialization other than video games.

  7. #7
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    At that age, my kiddo has friends, swam (mostly in the summer but some lessons in the year) and loved video games. When he got to high school, he joined more activities including the high school swim team. Now he does 2 swim teams, marching band, musical and tennis. He has friends and never even has time for video games most of the week. So, donít despair. Do encourage activities though.


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  8. #8
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ged View Post
    I think that's not abnormal behavior for a teen boy. But I dont have boys, so other will be more qualified to chime in. All I can think of is my girlfriend who said they had a horrible trip abroad bc her son (also 13) was so addicted to a video game that they basically did no sightseeing, could not go out to eat, etc. They spend a lot of their time in Tokyo at the 7-11!! I couldnt believe it, but I kinda could :/
    I realize this is judgey of me, but...just no. Cant the parents be in charge and take away the electronic devices or something??
    Mama to :
    DS1 (July 2011)
    DD (Feb 2014-June 2015)
    DS2 (Apr 2017)

    "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...Until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it."
    --Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)

  9. #9
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by petesgirl View Post
    I realize this is judgey of me, but...just no. Cant the parents be in charge and take away the electronic devices or something??
    Totally with you!


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  10. #10
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    My DS1 will be 14 soon. He spends a lot of time on video games and You Tube as well. But he has quite a few activities that keep him busy enough. He's not into sports as much, but does like joining various things. I think I would make him do something, whether it's a sport, music, academic type thing or whatever. I think once you are doing none of those things, it can be hard to jump in and join.

    I don't know if it's a sign of depression or not, but I'd work on finding something that holds his interest.
    Kris

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