Can we bitch about redshirting?

[AnnieW625]

My DD2 is the second youngest in her 2nd grade class (the pitfall of private education where the parents agree to a class roster with birthdays) and her birthday is April 29, 2010. There is one other girl with a birthday of June 1, 2010. There are no other summer 2010 kids in her class which means if there are any other 2010 kids with summer birthdays they are all in first grade. There are 14 kids in her class (of the 22) with 2009 birthdays and only 6 of those 14 were born after 9/1/09 cutoff, 7 of those 8 (including two girls with mid August, 2009 birthdays) probably could have been okay in 3rd grade, one summer 09 boy did repeat kindergarten. My reason for bitching about this is that my DD2’s teacher thinks she is a little immature and has more first grade skills than second grade skills, and we are well aware that DD2 is behind in reading and comprehension and we are working with that but now we think due to the older age of the class the younger kids are at a slight disadvantage since the remaining 8 were all born in 2010. I wish the school would take a hard stance at redshirting and require that those who want to redshirt go to kindergarten at 5 and then repeat the following year at 6 if needed. I am convinced that the two summer girls really should be in 3rd grade (as one finished the first Harry Potter book in 1st grade and was also reading at a 5th grade level and bragged about it).

FWIW we are thinking of moving her to public next year for 3rd grade and I don’t believe redshirting will be as much of an issue because of demographics of our home school. It seriously pains me to do this because of her current class size and truly everyone is nice but academically I don’t want her falling behind any further if she truly is at grade level for her work at any other school.

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[nfceagles]

I totally get what you’re saying. As much as I believe many parents redshirt for all the right reasons, I think it’s had a snowball effect causing many who don’t need to redshirt to be held back as well and it can feel like it comes at the expense of our now young students.

But isn’t she more likely to get individual help from a school that thinks she’s behind and wants to please their paying customer than at a public school that thinks she’s on target?


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[nfceagles]

Or you could move to CT where our cut off is December 31 and after many of the fall kids redshirt, she’d be right in the middle of her class age-wise.


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[theriviera]

It drives me nuts! The common phrase here is that they don't want their kids to be the youngest - it has nothing to do with development. The problem is that someone has to be the youngest! As the PP said, it's a snowball effect.

[georgiegirl]

I totally hear you. My middle child is mid July and I sent him on time. He’s either the youngest or second youngest. He’s done well (currently 3rd grade.). However, my youngest is mid/late August, and we are redshirting him. He’s so not ready. Your suggestion of repeating K would never fly. Some redshirted kids can’t handle K for emotional/social reasons. My son would probably cry multiple times a day if he went because he couldn’t handle the transitions and chaos of a full day. Socially he would probably be made fun of and not have many friends. He definitely needs another year. I had always assumed I’d sent him on time since his brother was fine. But that’s not the case. I think there should be a window of acceptability, or some sort of evaluation.


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[elbenn]

It drives me nuts! The common phrase here is that they don't want their kids to be the youngest - it has nothing to do with development. The problem is that someone has to be the youngest! As the PP said, it's a snowball effect.

Yep, it's the same here. I know there are some kids that truly need to be redshirted but I know of many that do it for other reasons. There was a kid in one of my kids' classes whose mom told me how bored she was in kindergarten and the teacher needed to give her special assignments to challenge her. It turns out that she was redshirted for no real reason other than the parents wanted her to start later.

[KrisM]

It really is a snowball effect. I wish it was not only a parent decision and that the school would have some guidelines at least.

DS2 is a July 2008 and is in 4th grade. There are a few who have already turned 11 in his class and he is still 9. He reads well above grade level and goes to a 5th grade classroom for math. We are trying to decide what to do next year about math and whether he should go to middle school for math or not. The few other kids who have done that in my district were all redshirted so about a full year older than he is for grade. He'll have just turned 10 when he would go, whereas the other few had already turned 11. A year makes a big difference.

[PZMommy]

My oldest son has a July birthday, and he is the second youngest in his class. I think it is just the nature of his class, and not the school though, as redshirting isn't too common in our area, as school is free vs paying for another year of preschool.

My other DS is the youngest in his grade level. He made the cut off by 5 days, and that is only because he was a preemie. Had he been born on time, he would have had a Sept birthday and would have had to wait a year and been one of the oldest. I contemplated holding him back a year, but I think he would have been bored to tears with another year of preschool. I thought about sending him to TK, but when the school did their assessment he scored as a "high" for incoming kinders, so the school said they would not put him in TK, especially since he made the cut off for Kinder. So we put him in Kinder. It was a bumpy start at first, but he had a great teacher and it worked out okay. He has done fine in first grade.

I'm really not a fan of red shirting just based on a birthdate. Some kids do need extra time, but just red shirting because they were born in the summer, is not a good enough reason to hold a kid back from starting school.

[TwinFoxes]

It really is a snowball effect. I wish it was not only a parent decision and that the school would have some guidelines at least.

DS2 is a July 2008 and is in 4th grade. There are a few who have already turned 11 in his class and he is still 9. He reads well above grade level and goes to a 5th grade classroom for math. We are trying to decide what to do next year about math and whether he should go to middle school for math or not. The few other kids who have done that in my district were all redshirted so about a full year older than he is for grade. He'll have just turned 10 when he would go, whereas the other few had already turned 11. A year makes a big difference.

Wow. I started 7th grade when I as eleven.

[dogmom]

The thing that gets me about red shirting is that so many parents who decide it do so based on things they read, their personal experience, and talking to other parents they know with kids near their age, but not talking to parents of high school kids. They are so focused on academics that they miss some big picture things. Once your kid turns 18 you have ZERO control over them. So if they decide to go into rebellion and quit school in 11th grade you can do nothing. Your 9th grade girl who is 16 dating a 50 yo man, also not much. All legal. It's a lot easier to intervene on drug or alcohol use for your 17 yo than an adult. Your 18 year old Junior caught at a party with a bunch of his classmates with beer? His classmates will have his parents called, he will get a trip to the police station. I know decent parents who had all this happen with their kids. They weren't negligent, they didn't come from "bad" families or "at risk" communities. So don't go thinking "this will never happen to MY kid." Your kid is 4 or 5! You have very little idea what will happen. I think there are some very valid reasons to keep your kids minor for most of their high school education in this country. Mistakes that get made after the age of 18 can stay with your for the rest of your life. I'm not saying this happens to all or even most kids. But when I suggest this as something to think about whether to hold a kid back people look at me like I'm a monster. I think I'm being realistic.