Can we bitch about redshirting?

[theriviera]

Wow. I started 7th grade when I as eleven.

Me too!


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[belovedgandp]

Oh do I hear you. My kids are all spring birthdays. We have a September 1st cut-off. My middle boy is June and I sent him. He's in 5th grade now. In his grade of 96 kids, there are three or four younger than he is.

He's an extremely bright kid. His biggest issue is that he is small. He's a 30-40th percentile kid so not tiny, but when 95% of the grade are older than you and some of those by as much as 13 months, he seems extra small.

I remember people hearing my due date of mid-June and asking me if I was going to redshirt when I was still pregnant. I would just comment that maybe I should actually meet the kid and wait four years or so before making that decision. Kids do change so much so fast. I think lot of parents do get set in a mindset with the summer born infants and don't look at the individual kiddo at 4 or 5.

[DualvansMommy]

The trend is turning back against redshirting in my town. After seeing 7-10 years effects of redshirting; many parents seem to be making the decision to send their kiddo on time. Especially more so with boys.

DS1 is a June birthday with a cut off date of 10/1. Out of 19 kids in his class, he is one of 3-4 youngest kids. But many don’t think he is cu he’s just if not bit taller than his older male classmates. I remember really struggling with the decision and personally don’t agree to redshirt a kid just because you don’t want him to be the youngest. Someone WILL have to be the youngest kid, and many are just hyper focused on the first few years of elementary years. It’s much more than that; I agree with lots of dogmoms point which is why I ultimately send him on time. If I had held him back, he would start his senior year as a 18 year old for the ENTIRE school year. Too many legal ramifications I can anticipate in my head.


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[georgiegirl]

He's an extremely bright kid. His biggest issue is that he is small. He's a 30-40th percentile kid so not tiny, but when 95% of the grade are older than you and some of those by as much as 13 months, he seems extra small.

My middle child has the same problem. He’s mid July and he’s tiny. He’s between the 5th and 10th percentile for his age, but since he’s the youngest and some kids are a year older than him, he looks like he’s insanely small. Like he’s always the smallest kid in his class. And we are the Midwest where lots of kids are really big. Most of his friends are 4-8” taller than him. That’s his only complaint about not being redshirted.

Also, with my youngest, who we are 95% sure we are redshirting (3 weeks before cut off and he’s socially and emotionally immature), I was thinking of possibly enrolling him in first grade after his year of TK next year. Maybe by then, he will have matured more. I’m taking a wait and see approach with him.

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[KrisM]

Wow. I started 7th grade when I as eleven.

I hadn't thought of that but I guess I did too! I have a September birthday, so turned 12 shortly after starting 7th.

It really is crazy! There are a good handful like that. My neighbor turns 10 in a week or so and he's in 3rd grade. We had a Nov 1 cut-off that year too.

Michigan moved from Dec 1 to Sept 1 cut off. It used to be nearly all the fall birthdays red-shirted. Now nearly all summer do. Moving the date didn't change much.

[KrisM]

The thing that gets me about red shirting is that so many parents who decide it do so based on things they read, their personal experience, and talking to other parents they know with kids near their age, but not talking to parents of high school kids. They are so focused on academics that they miss some big picture things. Once your kid turns 18 you have ZERO control over them. So if they decide to go into rebellion and quit school in 11th grade you can do nothing. Your 9th grade girl who is 16 dating a 50 yo man, also not much. All legal. It's a lot easier to intervene on drug or alcohol use for your 17 yo than an adult. Your 18 year old Junior caught at a party with a bunch of his classmates with beer? His classmates will have his parents called, he will get a trip to the police station. I know decent parents who had all this happen with their kids. They weren't negligent, they didn't come from "bad" families or "at risk" communities. So don't go thinking "this will never happen to MY kid." Your kid is 4 or 5! You have very little idea what will happen. I think there are some very valid reasons to keep your kids minor for most of their high school education in this country. Mistakes that get made after the age of 18 can stay with your for the rest of your life. I'm not saying this happens to all or even most kids. But when I suggest this as something to think about whether to hold a kid back people look at me like I'm a monster. I think I'm being realistic.

I agree with this, although many kids will turn 18 before they graduate, without red-shirting.

I also wonder about those around here who turn 11 in 4th grade...they will turn 16 in 9th grade, while some of their classmates are only 14. Will the 14 year old's parents be good with he/she dating a driving 16 year old?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I remember touring 1st Grade private schools for ds1 and being told that he’d be too young. Not based on a cut off date but on the trend of folks redshirting. Not sure why my kid couldn’t go to school on time. If they only wanted older kids, they should change the cut off dates. I left thinking 1. it was a racket to get people to pay for pre-k, k, 1 (or whatever extra year tuition they can squeeze) and 2. Show higher test scores and more mature 8th graders when they head off to high school (it was a preschool-8 School).
My summer boy has always been among the youngest. It does still show sometimes but it was absolutely the right choice to send him on time. I’ve definitely complained over the years about redshirting. Don’t even get me started about kids being bored in school because their parents held them out.


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[westwoodmom04]

I turned 11 in 7th grade too, but that was when the kinder cutoff was 12/31 and kindergarten was much more like preschool than it is today. Most districts have moved their cutoff dates to August or September, meaning a much smaller cohort of kids start school at 4.

[trcy]

Haven’t read the other replies, but red shirting for no good reason really irritates me too. I was raised by a single mom, dad really wasn’t around. My birthday was about a week before the cut off. My mom didn’t have the money to pay for another year of preschool, so I was sent on time. My K teacher wrote in my report card that I was ‘immature’! Of course I was, I was significantly younger than most of my classmates. I feel like red shirting put lower income students at a disadvantage.


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[KrisM]

I turned 11 in 7th grade too, but that was when the kinder cutoff was 12/31 and kindergarten was much more like preschool than it is today. Most districts have moved their cutoff dates to August or September, meaning a much smaller cohort of kids start school at 4.

My DS2 was in the first year Michigan started moving from Dec 1 to Sept 1. His year was 5 by Nov 1. So this year's 4th graders should have birthdays from Dec 1, 2007 through Oct 31, 2008. He is July 2008. Some of the kids are March/April 2007. Those kids are 11 now and in 4th grade. Their cut-off would have been Dec 1, meaning they made it by 8+ months, but their parents thought they weren't ready for kindergarten. It makes for a 18-20 month age range in the 4th grade. Tough on everyone.

As a September birthday, I turned 12 a few weeks after 7th grade started. So turned 11 in 6th.