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  1. #1
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    Question Dressy clothes and shoes for a very stubborn (and tall) DD?

    DD (10) has started refusing to wear dresses or skirts starting this fall (I was still able to get her to wear a couple of cute dresses on a couple of rare occasions this summer). I'm at a loss as to what I can get her to wear that's dressy enough for church, holidays, wedding showers, her brother's first communion, that sort of thing. She will only wear plain shirts (or maybe striped, but basically no embellishments like ruffles, fringe, cute details) and pants (basically everything out now is leggings). I tried sweater dresses or tunics over leggings, but she doesn't want anything long enough (to cover her butt in leggings) that looks like it could be considered a dress. I tried a long open sweater, but it looked sloppy, and she didn't like it, anyhow. She will wear a vest, so I'm on the hunt for anything plain/ simple enough that it can be worn with a variety of l/s shirts underneath. I doubt she would do scarves. She's about a size 12/14, too, so it makes it tricky to find clothes that look young and not too womanly.

    I'm also having a really hard time figuring out what dressy shoes or boots to have her try since she's soooo picky. She had a pair of black Moto boots from ON last year, but she's in women's sizes now, and everything I've shown her at Target, Old Navy, or Famous Footwear in women's sizes, she doesn't like because of the heel or something else not to her liking. The only shoes she has right now are tennis shoes and a pair of white Converse, but it's getting to be winter, and she'll need something she can wear in yucky weather. She's in a size 7/7.5.... any ideas? I'll probably have to take her to Nordstrom for more selection, but still don't know what to look for/ show her.

    Thanks in advance for any help you can give! I'm tearing my hair out over here, as our styles are so different and she just won't give in, so I need to find something that's more of a compromise.

  2. #2
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    My DD (12) hates fancy clothes and only wants to wear black and grey. We had a major fashion emergency for her spring concerts last year. She ended up with black skinny jeans and a black cold shoulder top. I made her get a dress and it was a black t-shirt dress from old navy. For shoes, we are lucky since she wears the same size as me. Now that it’s cold she will wear uggs. Before that only sneakers, converse, and Birkenstock’s.
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

  3. #3
    mikala is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I have no idea if this will help but wanted to mention that she'll probably still fit in a girl's size 5 shoe if that gives her any additional options for footwear.

  4. #4
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    For shoes, I wouldn’t bother w Nordstrom. Just turn her loose in DSW. But, agree w pp that you can still get away w kid sizes and that is a $ saver. Sometimes though I do assemble a Nordstrom shopping cart of possibilities for my kids to choose from. They quit/ don’t Try if faced with too many choices. I curate a collection I hope they’ll like plus I’ll like and then they pick. It’s actually worked super well! Maybe that could work for shoes and clothes for you?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  5. #5
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    Thanks, yeah, I tried DSW, too, and she was too big for all the girls' shoes, but didn't like any of the women's. . I'll try again now that the seasons are changing (when we went this summer and early fall, we were looking for dressy shoes, and ended up with a pair of Converse from Journey's (which she's barely worn, other than for church). . I'm hoping I can at least get her a pair of fake Ugg type boots from somewhere, and something dressier than tennis shoes, that can be worn inside.

  6. #6
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    I poked around and tried to find some plain yet dressy dresses. I agree, give her a selection of items. If' you're fine with her wearing trousers (I would be), find some dressy black slim trousers.

    https://www.nextdirect.com/us/en/g80372s6#589878 (Simple, but the sleeves might make it a no go.)

    https://www.nextdirect.com/us/en/g74208s4#508647 (Is she opposed to sparkle?)

    https://www.nextdirect.com/us/en/style/st347675#627365 (Super casual, but at least it's a dress!)

    https://www.nextdirect.com/us/en/g80354s25#633272 (Maybe because she can wear a tee under it?)

    Does she have a favorite color? Maybe finding a dress in that color, or with a trim of that color will help.

    What about a romper with tights under it? (I think the model needs a smaller size.)
    http://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/girls-...-velvet-romper

    Black Ponte trousers?
    https://www.gap.com/browse/product.d...3&pcid=1112193

    it's hard shopping for someone you don't know. I hope you can find something!
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  7. #7
    mom2binsd is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Are you in a warm climate?

    I looked at the velvet romper from Boden, what the heck is that thing??? If it's velvet why is it shorts/short sleeved? And I agree it's too big on the model, but don't those companies have editors?

    I'd go with simple black pants/jeggings if need be and some simple tops/maybe try a sweater. Have you looked at Old Navy? I'd do a pair of booties if you can, Ugg style for casual wear, target has a bunch.

  8. #8
    almostmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    My daughter is like this - no skirts or dresses for years now.

    When she need to wear something somewhat nicer for going out to a nice dinner, she wears black leggings and a hollister hoodie she bought that is t-shirt material, but black with white specks and can pass as decent. Also, she'll wear a black t-shirt, and so that looks ok. For nice shoes, she wears my black ballet flats - the ones that are kind of like slippers, though she has grown out of mine now and needs her own (she is a size 10 shoe!). She does wear the fake uggs in winter, as they are cozy for school. She also found a pair of lace up fake-sorel type boots at TJ Maxx last year and wore those pretty regularly - she could slip them on which always helps. Better than the bright green crocs she wears now...
    Liz

    DS 11/03
    DD 12/05

  9. #9
    Kindra178 is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    For shoes, why not black ballet flats? Something super plain like Born Juliane (https://www.bornshoes.com/Product.aspx?ProductID=8228) - so many colors and fabrics. Very plain. They are cheaper than the Born site on various websites. Sneakers and dresses are a thing. Adidas Superstars - plain all white or plain all black? These are still on trend and amazingly comfy. They run big so if you buy online, size down. For flat ankle boots, Dansko Raina, Sam Edelman or Vince Camuto. Re other boots, there are so many short Ugg styles. Can you try those?

    The pants suggested by Twin Foxes are perfect and can be worn with any shoes mentioned above, without needing a longer shirt. Any shirt or sweater will do. Old Navy and American Eagle have so many options.

    I will add that around here, none of the girls wear long shirts with leggings anymore. Leggings are full on pants for tween - teen set. Why do the shirts or sweaters have to be longer? Couldn't she do leggings, flats and a sparkly sweater for the holidays? I love the Old Navy sparkly fair aisle for Christmas?
    Last edited by Kindra178; 11-19-2018 at 03:51 PM.

  10. #10
    Melaine is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    I understand the issue, my girls are really trying avoid dresses and I always feel very conflicted about wearing jeans to church.

    My 12 year old loves her black motorcycle style boots from Walmart. They are ladies 7.5 and we found them on clearance in the spring for like $5! I think they look cute with pretty much everything she wears them with.

    What about a waterfall type vest or a soft one button cardigan to add a little length to the outfits? We found one button cardigans that looked just like the Bobeau ones at Nordstrom Rack in the girls section. I've seen them a couple years in a row but haven't looked this year.

    Leggings are NOT pants. Sorry, I still won't budge on that for my kids.

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