Why I don't like the holidays...

[hbridge]

I have decided why I don't like this time of year...

I HATE doing everyone's shopping. Grandparents and family ask for lists, my DC have few wants. At the moment there is one thing on each of their lists and one set of grandparents were supposed to get it for a birthday that has passed (who knows if they will actually give it to DC or not). Then the family is SO disappointed since they all want a to buy the kids what they want and they want very little. I am asked constantly, the kids are asked constantly and are completely stressed because they feel like they HAVE to want things and they just don't.

Then, my parents also want lists from DH and I. DH is good with giving a list of EXACTLY what he wants. I don't have many wants or needs and certainly don't have the time to create a detailed list just to give a list. I give ideas and guidance for me, but that's it. If there are brands I prefer, I list them. My mother has already sent me links to pans she owns so I can chose from there instead of buying new. Then mom just called to say she went all over to find the few Nautica brand pj's left in creation so I would have them for Christmas. I don't wear Nautica, they don't fit, they were not on my list of brands (I listed four brands that are EASY to find). Now I feel guilty and she is upset because she spent days going all over town for what I WANTED.

My mother questions EVERY item on everyone's list. Even toys the kids may want, she calls and talks about the negative Amazon reviews and how she doesn't want to purchase the item. Then says she needs more ideas...

DD wanted a certain pair of PJ's for her birthday, she even chose the color. My mother called FOUR times to say she didn't like the color DD picked out and didn't want to buy them for her. When I tell her to pick what she wants, she gets mad since she wants to get DD what she wants. UGH!

It's too much stress for me. I give ideas that they don't follow or don't like and I'm the "bad guy". The kids are "so sweet" since they are not interested in "consumerism", yet I'm the bad guy since I can't tell them what DC's want for the holidays.....

[KpbS]

That sounds all very stressful!! Since the kids don't want much (AWESOME!!) I would just answer that they would love money for their college funds or gift cards to B&N or the local trampoline park/amusement/water park. OR a magazine subscription to a magazine like Cricket/Ladybug/Highlights /Ranger Rick. Call it a day and be done.

For you, gift cards sound so much simpler. The perfect size.

[jgenie]

I completely understand!


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[jent]

I have decided why I don't like this time of year...

I HATE doing everyone's shopping. Grandparents and family ask for lists, my DC have few wants. At the moment there is one thing on each of their lists and one set of grandparents were supposed to get it for a birthday that has passed (who knows if they will actually give it to DC or not). Then the family is SO disappointed since they all want a to buy the kids what they want and they want very little. I am asked constantly, the kids are asked constantly and are completely stressed because they feel like they HAVE to want things and they just don't.

Then, my parents also want lists from DH and I. DH is good with giving a list of EXACTLY what he wants. I don't have many wants or needs and certainly don't have the time to create a detailed list just to give a list. I give ideas and guidance for me, but that's it. If there are brands I prefer, I list them. My mother has already sent me links to pans she owns so I can chose from there instead of buying new. Then mom just called to say she went all over to find the few Nautica brand pj's left in creation so I would have them for Christmas. I don't wear Nautica, they don't fit, they were not on my list of brands (I listed four brands that are EASY to find). Now I feel guilty and she is upset because she spent days going all over town for what I WANTED.

My mother questions EVERY item on everyone's list. Even toys the kids may want, she calls and talks about the negative Amazon reviews and how she doesn't want to purchase the item. Then says she needs more ideas...

DD wanted a certain pair of PJ's for her birthday, she even chose the color. My mother called FOUR times to say she didn't like the color DD picked out and didn't want to buy them for her. When I tell her to pick what she wants, she gets mad since she wants to get DD what she wants. UGH!

It's too much stress for me. I give ideas that they don't follow or don't like and I'm the "bad guy". The kids are "so sweet" since they are not interested in "consumerism", yet I'm the bad guy since I can't tell them what DC's want for the holidays.....

OMG I was just talking to my sister about EXACTLY this issue. Our parents want a long list of the perfect gifts for the kids, but the kids don't want much... so it feels like so much pressure. Every year.

I have tried suggesting the 'experience' gift and my parents have yet to take me up on it. I bet GCs would be a no-go too.

[BDKmom]

Every year I dread when the requests for lists start. Thankfully most of my family has agreed to stop exchanging gifts among the adults, so it’s mostly for the kids. But some of my family starts asking in September. I get that they want to spread their buying out, but my kids are still at the age where their interests change so quickly, I have no idea what they will be in to in 3 or 4 mos. On the other end of the spectrum, though, is my MIL, who usually doesn’t even tell me what she got the kids, so I have to sweat it out that we haven’t gotten the same thing, especially years when we do Christmas with the in laws before we do gifts at home. Either way, I wish people wouldn’t get so crazy around the holidays.

[jgenie]

OMG I was just talking to my sister about EXACTLY this issue. Our parents want a long list of the perfect gifts for the kids, but the kids don't want much... so it feels like so much pressure. Every year.

I have tried suggesting the 'experience' gift and my parents have yet to take me up on it. I bet GCs would be a no-go too.

And money is a no go as is smaller gift cards to be applied toward a bigger gift.

[BunnyBee]

I stopped providing lists. I had the same issue, and I told people that I was stressed figuring out what **I** was going to get everyone and that I'm sure the kids will love whatever they choose. I had a little pushback, but I didn't feel badly because most of the time they didn't even listen to what I suggested anyway!

[klwa]

Right there with you! So much of my holiday energy goes into figuring out what other people should give my kids that I'm completely drained when it comes to figuring out our own personal stuff!

Ever since my mom passed away, my dad gives me money & expects me to buy everything for my kids, wrap it, transport it so they can unwrap it in front of him, and then carry it back home. MIL asks for lists and either tells me that she can't find anything or else she buys everything leaving me with no ideas for myself. (If I don't give her a large variety of items, she also complains.) This year, I was evil and sent her pictures of the items for DD1 at the nearest Walmart to her house so she could see what it was & where it was. I wasn't as smart with DD2 and just sent her the full list of everything DD2 had circled in the Target Toy Book. So she bought bits & baubles from every little idea, instead of any single big item from within the list. *sigh* So, now, I have to figure out things for the aunts/uncles when they ask since all the little items are gone. She took DS shopping one day when they were off school, so at least I didn't have to figure out stuff for her to give him, but he also gets no surprises.