Is this ok?

[MSWR0319]

If you've read any of my other posts you know that DS's teacher this year isn't a great fit for him. Recently she started calling him "Messy Marv" because his handwriting is not good. His name is not Marv, nor anything near that FWIW. She calls him that in front of class, writes it on his papers and tells him he's living up to his name. I have seen a few papers where he writes "Marv" on his paper instead of his real name and then she writes "You're living up to your name". I can tell though that it really bothers him that she calls him this. He'll talk about it at home and says he can't ever do anything right. Do I just let it go? I just don't have a very good opinion of her and I don't want that to cloud my logical opinion. She told me at conferences that DS doesn't have much of a personality and she's trying to bring that out in him. This is the first time I have ever heard this from a teacher. So I don't know if this is just her way of joking with him or what. But I can see that it's affecting him because he's a perfectionist. I know that he's very uptight in her room and anxious because he's afraid he's going to get in trouble for doing something wrong. Does that give her the right to call him a name though? I mean it's not a super mean name, but it's not exactly positive either.

[ahisma]

No. That is not okay at all.

[Mommy_Mea]

Not remotely okay.

[ahisma]

I just read this to DH, who is a teacher. He was horrified and said it's not remotely okay.

[BunnyBee]

Holy ****! She shouldn’t be allowed around children! (Education degree, graduate degree in child development, mom, etc. if it matters)

[squimp]

Oh my heck. You do not want to let this go. Kids internalize crap like this and it can stick with them. Have you talked with her? If not, I would talk to her, focusing on how DS feels when he is called those names and shamed like that. And make it clear that it sounds like name calling and it is affecting DS.

However, it sounds like you have talked with her and she fed you BS, so I would start with the principal and ask that she be told to stop with the name calling or move DS out of her class. I'd probably start there. You gotta stand up for him.

[ett]

Not okay at all! And to tell someone that their kid doesn't have much of a personality?!?! That's awful!

[doberbrat]

I'm back to working as a long term sub. I think a 1 off verbal comment 'oh messy Marvin' in a loving and affectionate way MIGHT be ok..... maybe... if his name had been Marvin. Anything else? no!

We dont let kids call each other names. Why should adults?

I'm quite confident that if I ever did this, would quickly find myself unemployed.

[TwinFoxes]

This shouldn't even be a question. It's time to stick up for your kid.

[KpbS]

Absolutely unacceptable. Even to joke once, not ok, but to call him that in front of other kids?? No way.

I would be seriously planning a major change in setting for the second semester.