Playdate gone wrong - how would you have handled?

[jacksmomtobe]

I wouldn't say anything and I wouldn't do another playdate at that house and certainly not with the dynamics of that group.

I agree with this. I would not be happy about what occurred but I’m not sure any benefit would be gained by saying anything. I would limit any future play dates. When my kids were that age I would always be in ear shot especially with a group of 4.

[trcy]

Agreed.

I wouldn't do/say anything, but I would decline future playdates at this child's house.

Yes to this!

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Baby Bargains mobile app

[westwoodmom04]

Really? I’m surprised by this. You’d say you call the parent but you wouldn’t? When I drop my kids off I always tell them to call me if they need anything. I wouldn’t imagine that my child would be denied that opportunity.

OP, I think I’d be careful dropping off at that home from now on. I’m really not that concerned about the lack of supervision. Maybe I’m only picturing my small house but I could easily be in another room when hosting 7 yos but I’d intervene if there was crying for sure too. The not calling thing is bothersome to me. The aggressive remark is too hard to unpack so I might not worry about it too much. But all things together would make me cautious to drop off there again.

Ps. Just out of curiosity, how did that separate play date work out? I’m just imagining that some kids would feel left out from such an arrangement that might lead to “friend drama” but maybe it works out fine and that’s totally normal?

For a two hour play date, if the mom was due back within an hour, I wouldn’t call unless the kid was injured or sick. I would probably mention it to the mom at pick up though. Second or third graders tend to have lots of little drama that blow over quickly. I would be more apt to call if it were preschoolers.

[123LuckyMom]

I wouldn’t say anything, and I wouldn’t decline playdates in future. It sounds like it was not a great mix of kids, and that can happen. Also, there can just be a bad day. Just because a not-so-great time happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. If your child wants to go there again, I wouldn’t say no. It could be an entirely different experience next time. I would, though, say when you drop your child off that you would like to be called if your child wants to call you. This adult doesn’t sound great, but as long as she’s willing to contact you when asked, it should be fine.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[AnnieW625]

I wouldn’t say anything, and I wouldn’t decline playdates in future. It sounds like it was not a great mix of kids, and that can happen. Also, there can just be a bad day. Just because a not-so-great time happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. If your child wants to go there again, I wouldn’t say no. It could be an entirely different experience next time. I would, though, say when you drop your child off that you would like to be called if your child wants to call you. This adult doesn’t sound great, but as long as she’s willing to contact you when asked, it should be fine.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

I very much agree with this. Maybe everyone in general had a bad day. Also maybe the host parent didn’t want to call you and burden you with the issue. If the no call did bother you then yes I would tell the host next time to call if there are any issues.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[doberbrat]

by this point in the year, most 2nd graders here are 8 or nearly so close supervision is not necessary IMO. But if a kid asks for a parent to be called, I dont know how it can be justified Not to call - unless you know the parent is busy and cant take the all in which case, you'd just say to the kid, Mom cant be reached right now but there's x amt of time till she gets here.

I think I'd decline playdates for a while at that house. Maybe it was a bad day/mix but not being called would REALLY bug me. I might go so far as to leave my phone w/dc and let them call me directly at home if it comes up again. But I've NEVER had my kids call to come home so its a little shocking to me.

[squimp]

I wouldn't say anything, but it would bother me that DD was in tears and the parent wouldn't call. I can understand not calling because it is disruptive. I would be more direct the next time I dropped DD off there - but probably would not encourage future play dates. Supervision in 2nd grade, beyond being there and available, would not be necessary for me. I am not sure what you would say and what it would accomplish.

There are few cases where I have talked with a parent that I wasn't super close with about non-health based play date issues. We had a few play dates with mixes of kids who were not compatible, or where the kid was really poorly behaved, I just didn't invite those kids back. Thankfully DD and I usually agreed on those kids.

[Staraglimmer]

I wouldn’t say anything. I think that the best way to handle it is to avoid future play dates in that home. If say something, DC will likely be excluded from play dates in the future. You don’t want to be that mom. DC isn’t hurt, so I’d let it go.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[ahisma]

What do you want to come out of it? I wouldn't drop off there again, so that's a moot point.

In general, even when you know you're right, telling other parents that they made a bad decision generally doesn't go well. Personally, I don't really like to take on that one. Easier to steer clear. I mean, even if they are polite about your concerns, are you going to drop your kid off there again? There isn't much good that can come out of this.