Christmas gift

[melrose7]

So I sent a few items to DH that were on my wish list. He ended up getting me an air fryer and a cover for my kindle. Actually getting me something I wanted this year instead of always going to kohl’s and just picking something out for more than I would’ve paid for myself (without coupons). We’ll we used the air fryer 3 times and a screw came off in the basket twice. It was from Costco so I just wanted him to exchange it. When he took it back there were none in the store he would have to order it. It’s been over 3 weeks and I have reminded him twice and he still hasn’t done it. Both times I reminded him he was sitting on the couch doing nothing. I am done reminding him.
The kindle case was the wrong one too. Not even sure if he returned the old one but I haven’t even mentioned that one. It’s not like he goes shopping often but he is within a few miles of both stores at work everyday.
Just frustrated as when he tells me he needs something I will try to make sure I get it for him right away unless I know it’s going to go on sale and then tell him when it coming.
I know he’s not doing this on purpose or to be mean he just don’t think about it or remember things when I tell him.

[ChicagoNDMom]

I am sorry! Can totally relate! Take it from this old married gal—time to change the game plan. A few years ago I started buying myself exactly what I wanted for Christmas and then handing it to my husband to wrap. Prevents endless returns/frustration/sadness on Christmas. He is not a good shopper and I am and I am particular about what I like (and I get quality things on discount). Do yourself a favor and change your approach! Your life will improve. Again, I feel your pain.

[jgenie]

I am sorry! Can totally relate! Take it from this old married gal—time to change the game plan. A few years ago I started buying myself exactly what I wanted for Christmas and then handing it to my husband to wrap. Prevents endless returns/frustration/sadness on Christmas. He is not a good shopper and I am and I am particular about what I like (and I get quality things on discount). Do yourself a favor and change your approach! Your life will improve. Again, I feel your pain.

This exactly! I buy my own presents right down to jewelry if that’s what I want. DH doesn’t have to worry about adding it to his schedule and I don’t have to be annoyed that he overpaid for stuff that will be donated. He still insists on stopping at the drugstore to buy overpriced stocking stuffers but I generally return those the week after Christmas.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I get it. The act of following through to make the gift right shows that they are willing to go that extra step, even if it’s inconvenient. But, he (and my dh- who is great but let’s tasks like that fall by the wayside) probably don’t understand that extra layer and what it means to us. I’ve been getting better at understanding and accepting my dh’s strengths and weaknesses; in cases like this, instead of getting mad or hurt, I’ll just do it myself. It just doesn’t need to become a big thing where the action/ inaction signifies anything about our relationship. He just simply hasn’t completed a chore. You’ll feel better if you just complete the exchanges and acknowledge that he is making progress on the gift front.


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[Melaine]

I agree, buy your own gifts! It works pretty well for us. It doesn't mean that we don't look for and think about gifts for each other. If I find something for him that is amazing, I'll get it. But if nothing is coming to mind, I ask for his suggestions. I tell him what I want and either he or I will order it. It has been much better for our relationship than getting disappointed and wasting money on poor choices.

[melrose7]

I agree, I used to buy my own gifts or tell him what I was getting myself for Christmas. But then he would still stop, usually the night before Christmas to buy something, that either I didn’t need or he paid too much for, just so he could get me something. He feels like he needs to get me something even if I said I already have such and such under the tree.
So I thought it would help this year by giving him some ideas but that backfired too. Especially since I have asked for some floating shelves in our bathroom since we moved here (almost 3 yrs ago) so I sent him that idea again plus some amazon items. He complained he couldn’t see my wish list on Amazon since he doesn’t have an account (see he seriously does no shopping) and I said that cause i really want those shelves. So then I sent him the air fryer and kindle case idea that could be bought elsewhere.
I know I should just go ahead and buy it myself but then he’ll feel bad. Now I feel since I don’t have the air fryer I want to hold out for the air fryer toaster oven from Williams Sonoma.
I’m just going to go get those shelves for my bathroom as a valentines gift for myself too!

[niccig]

DH and I send each other links with details such as color and size.. would that help?

I’d just do the returns myself. I wouldn’t expect DH to do this for a gift he gave me. He got me a coat this year that was a surprise, I’d admired it at the store. He wasn’t sure on size, actually had DS try it on as we’re similar size, and it was too small. I organized the exchange myself the very next day, as I wanted the coat.


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[StantonHyde]

I circle items I want in catalogs and give DH the pages. As someone once said to me, Think of it as giving DH a chance to succeed at gift giving.

[KpbS]

Thank stinks! Can you make him a to-do return list and have better success getting him to move on it?