Motherhood sucks....

[alleycat]

When your baby is sad and you feel helpless. Well, DD isn't a baby anymore but she's still my baby.

DD has always wanted to be part of the school play but she's super shy. There's no way she would perform in front of an audience. She had planned to wait until sixth grade and be part of the crew so she could finally be a part of it. She got her assignment today...She's an usher. She is absolutely devastated and was crying right before bedtime. She doesn't understand how an usher is part of the team when she isn't even required to go to rehearsals. Her role only requires her to show up for the two performances.

DD never asks for much. She pretty much goes with the flow; she doesn't complain or get upset when things don't go her way. She is so upset over this. She feels left out. I don't know how to help her and my words aren't comforting her.

I did email the director to see if there was anything else DD can do, even if it is a small part. I doubt there's anything else, pretty sure things are set. I never want to be and I'm not that mom that rocks the boat but it broke my heart to see DD crying. This was such a big deal for her and now she feels crushed.

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[georgiegirl]

Ugh, I’m so sorry. Our 6th grade play was more inclusive. Kids could specifically request to be part of the crew. I really hope the director reconsiders. Hugs. It’s hard to see our kids upset and disappointed.


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[Myira]

Hugs, it’s painful and heartbreaking to watch your kiddo have to deal with such disappointment. I have no idea what to do as a parent to make the situation suck less for your child.
Have to wonder what thought goes behind making these casting decisions for a school play and why they can’t be more inclusive.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Mine didn’t make it in either last year. It was so hard. Anyone can join the crew though so he did that again (he’d done it the year before). This year, he did 2 rounds of callbacks for a top lead role and wound up with just a slightly lower but still named part. (He’s not the best dancer and that’s what ultimately won the lead). Until the callbacks, when I really felt confident that he really would end up on stage somewhere, I was so stressed. I didn’t want to go through last year’s sadness again. ((((Hugs))))


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[alleycat]

Mine didn’t make it in either last year. It was so hard. Anyone can join the crew though so he did that again (he’d done it the year before). This year, he did 2 rounds of callbacks for a top lead role and wound up with just a slightly lower but still named part. (He’s not the best dancer and that’s what ultimately won the lead). Until the callbacks, when I really felt confident that he really would end up on stage somewhere, I was so stressed. I didn’t want to go through last year’s sadness again. ((((Hugs))))


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She didn't want a role in the play, she just wanted to be part of the crew. It was her way of feeling included in this experience. Only 6th graders can be part of the crew so she's been waiting and thinking about it since 4th grade. DD is shy and steers away from things that require her to work with other people. This was the one team/group experience she was looking forward to. This could've helped her open up to joining more clubs and teams.

I'm so upset for her.

[SnuggleBuggles]

She didn't want a role in the play, she just wanted to be part of the crew. It was her way of feeling included in this experience. Only 6th graders can be part of the crew so she's been waiting and thinking about it since 4th grade. DD is shy and steers away from things that require her to work with other people. This was the one team/group experience she was looking forward to. This could've helped her open up to joining more clubs and teams.

I'm so upset for her.

Very rarely am I "that" parent but I think I would follow up and express how much she was looking forward to it. (eta- duh- you already did that!) Maybe they had too many kids but she could go on the "wait list" if someone dropped out? I hope it works out.

[Tenasparkl]

She didn't want a role in the play, she just wanted to be part of the crew. It was her way of feeling included in this experience. Only 6th graders can be part of the crew so she's been waiting and thinking about it since 4th grade. DD is shy and steers away from things that require her to work with other people. This was the one team/group experience she was looking forward to. This could've helped her open up to joining more clubs and teams.

I'm so upset for her.

Hopefully the email will help. I can’t imagine that there isn’t some other crew job that she could do. I’ve never heard of a production to turn away a willing and enthusiastic helper.

[khm]

I might follow up with an actual call and reiterate that this is something she's been looking forward to since 4th grade, something you view as a springboard to her dipping her toe into other activities.

I'm rarely "that" mom either, and I rarely encourage others to be, but this is one of those times. Crew is a semi-chaotic group. Surely there is room for one more kid.

[hbridge]

I would actually word my e-mail to the director a little differently....

Essentially saying that DD has so much energy and is so enthusiastic about working on the play, she would like to help out at the rehearsals, too... Essentially, "being an usher is fine, but she wants MORE"! I would guess that they always want help with something! Another option, if she is okay with it, is to just show up and be put to work !

Hugs... I never wanted to be that mom either, but now with a child with "different needs" I feel I am ALWAYS THAT mom... It's so hard...

Also, Kudo's to your school for letting the kids help with the crew! In our public elementary, the kids are on stage performing or not involved AT ALL; the parents or volunteers do EVERYTHING else. Even the set is professionally built... It's ridiculous!

[ged]

Hugs. I'm sorry. My DD is also super shy and finally put herself out there to "try out" for a part in her class musical. She didn't get it, and was only 2 of 28 kids that didn't get a part at all. She was devastated and I didn't know what to do. I debated writing a letter but life happened and I forgot. A few weeks later the director apologized after realizing her oversight (skipping the 2 of 28 kids), and assigned her a part (not the one she tried out for). Not saying that will happen for your DD, but maybe it was an oversight. Part of me thinks if the director knows your DD is shy (like ours does), then maybe s(he) is trying to be "helpful" by not giving them a bigger part. Not to say that's right, bc I do think it can be the role of teachers to help kids grow/expand/etc.