Anxiety, depression, and ADHD

[bisous]

DH has pretty serious ADHD and anxiety that he’s been dealing with forever. He is so functional considering everything he deals with on the inside! He’s been having a situation at work that is both stressful and isolating and now he’s pretty depressed and I’m worried! We have good insurance, although they aren’t known to be awesome for mental health. For my birthday (today!) I told him I want him to call and set up an appointment to meet with someone. But he says he’s too busy! He will probably meet with a counselor first and I imagine will need to talk with a psychiatrist.

What tips can you give me to help us figure out what is needed? Anyone dealt with this combo?

When studying DS1s ADHD I ran across an interesting tidbit that sometimes when you treat a patient for ADHD that has BOTH ADHD and anxiety, the anxiety gets worse as you can now focus better on your anxiety! This describes DHs utter contempt for his experience on ADHD meds. I’m just wondering if anyone has any info. Books? Websites? BTDT?

Thank you!!

[StantonHyde]

My DS has ADD and anxiety. I think its actually a pretty common combo. I would make an appointment with a counselor and a psychiatrist. It can be an 8 week wait to get into a psychiatrist. In the meantime, he needs some action items that will help deal with symptoms, etc and that will be the counselor. He's not too busy. He's depressed or just doesn't want to admit the need for help. You need to push for this.

With DS, we medicate for both conditions. There is a balancing act because the ADD meds can make you anxious. And having ADD can make you anxious! And then being anxious makes it harder to concentrate! The doctor will help you decide. For us, we medicated the anxiety first and then the ADD 2 years later because the anxiety was the stronger component. But the anxiety meds can take 6 weeks to take hold. Vs. the ADHD meds--he can try those and see results in 1-2 days. We just upped DS's meds after 7 years of not adjusting them at all because they were working--despite all of his growth spurts! So this time, we increased one for 2 weeks and everything was ok so then we increased the second. I think we did the anxiety med first. Please note these are meds and the psychiatrist really needs to guide you here. The counselor will also be a big help, but you need the medical guidance as well.

There is the website for people with ADHD--something like attitude but spelled differently. For DS, I picked up the "Everything ADHD" book and it had lots of good info. Not sure about books specifically for adults though.

[bisous]

My DS has ADD and anxiety. I think its actually a pretty common combo. I would make an appointment with a counselor and a psychiatrist. It can be an 8 week wait to get into a psychiatrist. In the meantime, he needs some action items that will help deal with symptoms, etc and that will be the counselor. He's not too busy. He's depressed or just doesn't want to admit the need for help. You need to push for this.

With DS, we medicate for both conditions. There is a balancing act because the ADD meds can make you anxious. And having ADD can make you anxious! And then being anxious makes it harder to concentrate! The doctor will help you decide. For us, we medicated the anxiety first and then the ADD 2 years later because the anxiety was the stronger component. But the anxiety meds can take 6 weeks to take hold. Vs. the ADHD meds--he can try those and see results in 1-2 days. We just upped DS's meds after 7 years of not adjusting them at all because they were working--despite all of his growth spurts! So this time, we increased one for 2 weeks and everything was ok so then we increased the second. I think we did the anxiety med first. Please note these are meds and the psychiatrist really needs to guide you here. The counselor will also be a big help, but you need the medical guidance as well.

There is the website for people with ADHD--something like attitude but spelled differently. For DS, I picked up the "Everything ADHD" book and it had lots of good info. Not sure about books specifically for adults though.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Do you know how depression fits in there with the anxiety? So far as I can tell DH has BOTH. Seems like a lot.


I will make DH call for an appointment tomorrow! We’ll just try to handle things until we get in. 8 weeks seems like a long time.

[jawilli4]

I will make DH call for an appointment tomorrow! We’ll just try to handle things until we get in. 8 weeks seems like a long time.

I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. Sending you all p, pt, and strength. Your DH will get through this and be much better/happier on the other side.

No experience with the ADHD part, but with the anxiety and depression aspect. Just chiming in to say that if he doesn't call today, see if you can call for him. A lot of times even making the call is far too much.

[StantonHyde]

I take medication for my anxiety because it turns into depression. Again, fairly common combo.

[legaleagle]

Huge overlap in ADHD & anxiety and of course anxiety & depression are the dark twins of each other.

I hope your DH can get some help soon.

https://www.additudemag.com/ is great

[bisous]

Thanks all!! I will see if Kaiser will allow me to call on behalf of DH.

[petesgirl]

I don't know much about ADHD and meds for that, so this may not be a viable solution, but if the waiting list to get seen by a specialist is super long, could he talk to his GP and maybe get a fast-acting anti-anxiety right away? I have an anti-anxiety med that I take only as needed and it kicks in right away. It does make me tired, so I have to take it at night (which is when I experience anxiety the most anyway, I lay down and suddenly my worries all surface and my heart starts racing and I can't sleep).
Just another idea.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

no advice, other than i'm pretty certain my mom has undiagnosed ADHD, and she also has had anxiety for decades. right now my mom is dealing with various health issues and her anxiety is just through the roof - i was just visiting her with my kids this spring break.

while we were there, my kids were going crazy running around the house and i kept apologizing to my mom for them being so loud. my mom kept saying their prescence actually helped her anxiety a lot better bc they distracted her. indeed, my mom's anxiety is often helped by being distracted by something else (usually trying to take care of a child or help a tantruming child, or helping someone in need )... probably the reason my mom spent 25+ years as a preschool teacher/special needs teacher for disadvantaged kids. so i can totally believe that notion of how meds improving ADHD could make anxiety worse because it doesn't let you become distracted as easily.

[bisous]

no advice, other than i'm pretty certain my mom has undiagnosed ADHD, and she also has had anxiety for decades. right now my mom is dealing with various health issues and her anxiety is just through the roof - i was just visiting her with my kids this spring break.

while we were there, my kids were going crazy running around the house and i kept apologizing to my mom for them being so loud. my mom kept saying their prescence actually helped her anxiety a lot better bc they distracted her. indeed, my mom's anxiety is often helped by being distracted by something else (usually trying to take care of a child or help a tantruming child, or helping someone in need )... probably the reason my mom spent 25+ years as a preschool teacher/special needs teacher for disadvantaged kids. so i can totally believe that notion of how meds improving ADHD could make anxiety worse because it doesn't let you become distracted as easily.

Exactly. It made so much sense to me. I have also heard that only treating for anxiety makes for very flaky adults who were formerly very together! Essentially the anxiety is what helps them not miss appointments, etc and once that’s removed the ADHD reigns supreme.