WARNING Controversial topic Child porn arrest- Need help with finding a comparison

[pharmjenn]

There have been an increased number of arrests in the last few years for people watching/downloading child porn. In my area, I know of more than a few, including community leaders and medical professionals. An old boss of two coworkers was arrested and lost everything- his job, license; his life it seems. He was not a nice boss, and not a medical professional that had any access to children. Anyway, this also happened to someone close to my family.
The husband was found to have videos of young teen girls on his computer. The children in the family were interviewed by professionals and found to have not been affected in any way (by which I mean, they were never shown anything, not touched, or did not have any knowledge of sex outside of age appropriateness) They were allowed to remain in the home. The husband lost his job and many friends, including the one he considered his best friend. He has been in weekly counseling and have determined the mental state that led him to look at these images. He has now served his sentence and has no legal restrictions on his activities. He was charged in such a way that he is not on the offender list, and never had a problem with school drop offs/pick ups. He did choose to limit school activities to evening activities with mostly adults, and parent/teacher conferences and very few of those as he felt judged.
His wife has stood by him, and is the breadwinner for the family. Her coworkers do not know any of this, so work is a bit of a refuge.

Anyway, I am trying to find a comparison in the severity and complexity of the crime. He never did anything in person. The only ones physically hurt by this crime were the children in the videos. Psychologically and socially, many others in his family were hurt by his actions. The father had been an active adult scouter, and has been banned "forever" from the scouts. He now wants to be a "parent" of a scout to his son, and go to award ceremonies, or be able to drive the son (3hrs) to summer camp. The local district has refused that.

Can anyone help me to figure out a comparison? I can't verbalize what I am looking for. An example like a person drove home drunk and ran his car into his own garage. The potential for harm was there, but it did not happen to anyone outside the family. Not a good example, really.

Thanks for reading.

[StantonHyde]

I would say there was great harm to the children in those videos and to all the children who will appear in future videos--fueled by people who watch them now.

What do you need this comparison for? Yourself to make sense of it? To explain it to someone? That might help generate the comparison.

[pharmjenn]

I would say there was great harm to the children in those videos and to all the children who will appear in future videos--fueled by people who watch them now.

What do you need this comparison for? Yourself to make sense of it? To explain it to someone? That might help generate the comparison.

More to explain it to others. He is being judged for what was put in the local online forum from the original arrest. Of course, no one knows the final outcome of the investigation and court proceedings. Apparently other families in their Scout Troop received an email to be on the lookout for the father and report it if he attempted to come to any scout events. I have not seen the email, but assume it detailed what the District feels is the case, and not necessarily what the truth was.

I just found out the community leader that is on the offender list lives in the neighborhood behind my house, and his family is shamed everywhere. I don't know any details about any other cases, just this one, but knowing this one makes me realize we really don't know what happened and it is unfair to judge. I feel this about national news cases about other types of crimes as well.

[JElaineB]

It sounds to me like you are wanting to make excuses for this person and justify it by saying it was a victimless crime. It is not and was not, and he deserves any and all repercussions. It sounds like there were relatively few negative consequences to be honest.

[robinsmommy]

Are there people who only go as far into child sex offenses as porn? Yes. Are there people who are caught with child porn but have committed more harmful acts and did not get caught for the latter? Absolutely. How do you know with certainty what any offender is guilty of, or just *hasn’t been caught at yet*? And what are reasonable precautions in those situations? I tend to err on the side of keeping kids safe rather than protecting someone who has already made a bad choice as an adult.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It sounds to me like you are wanting to make excuses for this person and justify it by saying it was a victimless crime. It is not and was not, and he deserves any and all repercussions. It sounds like there were relatively few negative consequences to be honest.

I concur.


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[bnme]

A father on my block did something similar. He was arrested, found guilty, served house arrest and is on the sex offender list. Also ‘just’ videos, lots and lots of them. You can read much of the court info on line so the details are out there. He was also a narcotics detective for the state police. His wife stayed with him and he has 2 kids that were like 4 and 6 st the time.

It is not victimless and he does not deserve to be at his kids schools events. Are you asking how to explain to people how they should forgive or accept him? I’m sorry, but too bad for him. The potential for harm still exists, and to CHILDREN.

[georgiegirl]

He’s bad. End of story.

I can’t go into details here, but someone in our community who works with kids was caught by one of those vigilante predator groups. All kinds of gross and wrong. Can’t go into details, but

[TwinFoxes]

It sounds to me like you are wanting to make excuses for this person and justify it by saying it was a victimless crime. It is not and was not, and he deserves any and all repercussions. It sounds like there were relatively few negative consequences to be honest.

I agree. And frankly, everyone who exploits children sexually makes an excuse. There was the bit part actor that it was discovered was given parts by his famous director friend who made all kinds of excuses for him, saying he just complimented a teen and her family blew it out of proportion. The trial transcripts showed he groomed and and had sexual contact multiple times with the girl. Child predators are liars, period.

You don't know "he never did anything in person". Why you'd want to get involved in this and take the side of someone who exploits children is beyond me.

[TwinFoxes]

There have been an increased number of arrests in the last few years for people watching/downloading child porn. In my area, I know of more than a few, including community leaders and medical professionals. An old boss of two coworkers was arrested and lost everything- his job, license; his life it seems. He was not a nice boss, and not a medical professional that had any access to children. Anyway, this also happened to someone close to my family.
The husband was found to have videos of young teen girls on his computer. The children in the family were interviewed by professionals and found to have not been affected in any way (by which I mean, they were never shown anything, not touched, or did not have any knowledge of sex outside of age appropriateness) They were allowed to remain in the home. The husband lost his job and many friends, including the one he considered his best friend. He has been in weekly counseling and have determined the mental state that led him to look at these images. He has now served his sentence and has no legal restrictions on his activities. He was charged in such a way that he is not on the offender list, and never had a problem with school drop offs/pick ups. He did choose to limit school activities to evening activities with mostly adults, and parent/teacher conferences and very few of those as he felt judged.
His wife has stood by him, and is the breadwinner for the family. Her coworkers do not know any of this, so work is a bit of a refuge.

Anyway, I am trying to find a comparison in the severity and complexity of the crime. He never did anything in person. The only ones physically hurt by this crime were the children in the videos. Psychologically and socially, many others in his family were hurt by his actions. The father had been an active adult scouter, and has been banned "forever" from the scouts. He now wants to be a "parent" of a scout to his son, and go to award ceremonies, or be able to drive the son (3hrs) to summer camp. The local district has refused that.

Can anyone help me to figure out a comparison? I can't verbalize what I am looking for. An example like a person drove home drunk and ran his car into his own garage. The potential for harm was there, but it did not happen to anyone outside the family. Not a good example, really.

Thanks for reading.

BTW, if none of the "consequences" sound overly harsh to me.