last year i posted about my DD (2nd grade) struggling with selective mutism (and to a certain extent, anxiety and OCD, etc). she has had a campus intervention team in place at her school in Kinder. there were multiple incidents with teachers at school (not her main teacher but others either in aftercare or during recess) scolding and threatening her for not speaking. This made her frustrated and more anxious -- the skin on her hands was peeling like crazy bc she was washing her hands so much. at some point she refused to eat with her hands at all, thinking she would get germs. This was a kid that would eat goldfish off the floor just one year before. DH & i were at a loss.
i followed ppl's advice to find a therapist. i found one recommended by a local FB group - a child psychologist that specialized in SM as well as OCD/anxiety. I think I contacted her in Nov and she had a 3 month waiting list but I figured it was worth it. My DH as usual was totally skeptical and pessimistic and kept saying DD was never going to talk to anyone.
Anyway, we had initial consultation, then finally after the wait list we had a mtg with just me & DH on the preparation for the first appt (there were specific things we had to do, things we had to practice) and now DH has taken DD to 2 appointments with the therapist. MY DD TALKED TO THE THERAPIST IN FIRST MEETING. my DH was completely flabbergasted - DD literally has only directly talked to maybe 10 people on this earth (and 3 of them are me, dh, ds). And i think the only adult other than family that she's talked to is her piano teacher, who she's known since she was 4 (and who comes to our house for lessons). 2nd appt (yesterday) went very well to the point that therapist got DD to even talk about her feelings! DH was super impressed (as was I, but i've always been a big believer in the power of therapy , unlike my DH).
i must say it is amazing to see what a difference an experienced, trained professional makes in talking to kids. SM is really poorly understood and i wish there was more awareness on it. People with SM want to speak but cannot because anxiety prevents them. Many adults don't get it and assume the kid is being rude or defiant and think they can bribe or threaten the kid to talk. I feel like this is specially prevalent here in TX , where kids not saying "please" or "thank you" have people think you're a rude ungrateful kid who needs to be set straight.
also, my DD"s OCD resolved in December - from our intitial consultation with the therapist she suggested putting DD to bed earlier so she could get more sleep which would help with the anxiety. she said that simply trying to put kids to bed earlier often doesn't work - she suggested on Sunday morning we tell kids if they wake up at 6:00am we will take them to do something fun, like go get donuts. then they will be excited to wake up early and that night they will be tired and will be able to fall asleep earlier. it totally worked. now every 2-3 weeks we go for donuts at 6am on Sundays and that night they fall asleep before 8pm which used to never happen before.
Anyway, i'm excited for DD's progress! in a month i have a meeting with campus intervention team to discuss her progress and see if any other accomodations are needed. i had asked earlier about a 504 and they said that this in place should function the same as a 504 as long as we remain in the district. i made a point to let the aftercare director know about it so that aftercare teachers werent bothering my DD about not speaking.