Ugh, dd watching Heather's with her friends, wtd?

[newnana]

Heathers is actually a musical now: http://www.playbill.com/article/heat...track-by-track

Yep, that's what started the whole thing. Her party theme was musicals. Her friends know every word to the soundtrack to the musical and it turns out she really was the only kid who hadn't seen it.


For the record, not one parent asked what we were doing or watching during the party. These girls were at my house for over 18 hours.

DD doesn't watch anything remotely scary like pp mentioned, no Stranger Things, can't think of any others, we don't watch much of anything. She isn't yet into much on the sexual front and still tells me when her friends do show her stuff that embarrasses her, asking for advice or just to get it off her chest. She's on the younger end for her grade, so some of her friends are older because of grade cutoffs and siblings (shifting so siblings wouldn't be in the same class) and with older siblings they are also exposed to more than DD. We don't have any alcohol in the house for them to get into, so that's not even on my radar, thanks!

We talked about it after everyone left. I wanted to make sure she didn't feel pressured into it, that she can always use me as the bad guy, and that she understood there could be consequences with the other friends parents. We talked about the other things those girls have introduced her to and felt that risk wasn't high. Other than that, she LOVED the movie, thought it was hysterical and thought Christian Slater had the coolest voice ever. We talked about R ratings and what to do if this happens to her with a movie she is uncomfortable with, or really any situation where she's being pressured into something that doesn't feel right.

Thanks for all your help and perspectives, I really really appreciate it!

[Kindra178]

I just watched Breakfast Club with my 13 year old. He found it boring. Next up, St. Elmo’s Fire. I was not a Heather’s fan, but absent porn, I think it’s hard to limit what kids watch.


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[mom2binsd]

I just watched Breakfast Club with my 13 year old. He found it boring. Next up, St. Elmo’s Fire. I was not a Heather’s fan, but absent porn, I think it’s hard to limit what kids watch.


DD who is almost 16 and has seen plenty of movies that many on here would ban (she watched Shameless) came home and I was watching St. Elmo's Fire, when she saw Rob Lowe she sat down (she is huge fan of his, she loved him in the hockey movie Youngblood) and can I just say he of all the brat pack has held up pretty well!


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DD who is almost 16 and has seen plenty of movies that many on here would ban (she watched Shameless) came home and I was watching St. Elmo's Fire, when she saw Rob Lowe she sat down (she is huge fan of his, she loved him in the hockey movie Youngblood) and can I just say he of all the brat pack has held up pretty well!

[bisous]

OP, so I actually watched Heathers as a teen (sneaked it at my dads house because he had HBO). I don’t even remember it because I was afraid of getting caught! I learned for myself at some point I don’t want to watch rated R movies (I don’t like being scared, don’t enjoy violence, don’t like profanity, sex scenes are uncomfortable) but I can see a really good kid being curious at a slumber party and watching something.

I think it’s good to explore the issues of being pressured to do something you don’t want to and also pressuring others! That’s a good conversation to have.

As a parent, I personally would want to know that my child watched a rated R movie at my house. I wouldn’t be happy but knowing that you didn’t allow it but it happened anyway would be preferable and it would preserve my relationship with you and I’d be more likely to permit my kid to hang out with yours! I don’t think you were negligible. You gave your DD guidelines and the kids collectively chose to ignore them. By informing the other parents you’re showing further responsibility. If they think you’re over careful is there a downside to that? I can’t see one. I’d reach out to the parents. It’s a good conversation to have.

[erosenst]

Trivia time and totally off topic - the guy who wrote the screenplay for Heathers grew up with my brother and was at his wedding. They're still friendly today.

Back on topic- DD had definitely seen Heathers at 13. I do think some parents wouldn't be thrilled but most would be totally fine.

If no one drinks, has sex, post inappropriate pictures on social media that identifies your house in the background it’s a win. If they don’t like it they can host their own sleepovers

I must admit that I had to laugh at this. DD is 15. It's nowhere near this bad yet but I know it's coming....sigh.

[citymama]

I read the review you linked to, and I think the author really missed the point. The scene that made her think "was this supposed to be funny?" Well, no it wasn't. Christian Slater's character was not a hero, which she seems to think he was. The fact that the writer compared it to Ferris Bueller shows she didn't get this this was a dark satire.

I'm gonna have to watch this movie now! Also, I think we need to have a spinoff thread called "80s movies that did not wear well."

[bisous]

I'm gonna have to watch this movie now! Also, I think we need to have a spinoff thread called "80s movies that did not wear well."

I’m down with that thread idea!

[RiverRat]

PG-13 has been a round since 1984; Heathers came out in 1988 so it was rated R for a reason vs. PG-13 which could’ve been an option in 1988. I haven’t seen it so I don’t know why, but my guess is the pre meditative murder premise.

16 Candles is rated PG even with full female nudity in the shower scene, but there is minimal bad language and no sexual nudity so my guess is that it didn’t qualify as R. Per IMDB it was released on 5/4/1984 and PG-13 started on 7/1/84.




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Thanks for this. I’m Canadian and our ratings are more lenient than the US. For example, the new Shazam! movie is PG here, and PG-13 in the US. So Heathers Canadian Rating is 14A, not R. We have more levels before R - it goes 18A then R. So I take the US rating and move it down one notch in my mind. Unless it’s some crazy scary horror movie, US ratings are way stricter than how I personally view movies.

The American R rating is not a very strong rating in my opinion/experience. In my opinion, they add it to too many movies. I agree some should be R like the terrible horror movies out there - here they would be R or 18A. I think that’s why there’s so much gray area with American R rated movies. You watch them and can’t figure out why they would ever get that R classification. It’s like they need another classification to divide R into.


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[BunnyBee]

I was that age when Heathers came out, and we all watched it. By 13+, your teens should be advocating for themselves if the movie wouldn’t be approved by you. They are going to encounter way more than a questionable movie soon, and they need to speak up, call you to come get them, etc.

OP, I would have stopped the movie if my DD knew it wasn’t okay with me when she started it. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it—just a nope, fine something else to watch kids, and then deal with her after the friends are gone. The deception would’ve pissed me off!

[TwinFoxes]

I'm gonna have to watch this movie now! Also, I think we need to have a spinoff thread called "80s movies that did not wear well."

I'd love to hear your opinion! I also plan to re-watch, now that PP mentioned it's on Netflix.