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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post

    to answer the question re: settings - dd would not have to do the fade-in technique in every setting - the main thing would be to do it with the teacher in the classroom bc that is the most common environment she is in, and where lots of speaking and interaction with teacher would normally occur. i'd be over the moon if she could at least speak to the teacher in class and be able to read out loud etc.
    On a different note from school, could you use the summer to utilize this technique in other ares? With other people your daughter regularly interacts with but is unable to speak to? People like nannies, camp, dance teacher, music teacher? I know that doesn't help in the classroom, but I was curious if working these areas would benefit in the classroom down the road.

  2. #12
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    As pp have said, have you started researching other schools? Some schools just aren't good fits and there could be a much better option. Your therapist might be able to suggest some.
    No haven’t done that yet. I reluctant at this point to uproot both my kids from their school (which is in otherwise very good in other aspects, great teachers and kids have friends) , without at least going down the child advocate/lawyer road first. Also therapist suggested this entire district tends to be inflexible for kids with SM. Though, that is a consideration. It is incredibly frustrating one to have to make though.

  3. #13
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by specialp View Post
    On a different note from school, could you use the summer to utilize this technique in other ares? With other people your daughter regularly interacts with but is unable to speak to? People like nannies, camp, dance teacher, music teacher? I know that doesn't help in the classroom, but I was curious if working these areas would benefit in the classroom down the road.
    We use other techniques suggested by therapist and now dd is able to order at certain restaurants. But It doesn’t really translate to the classroom. The setting and person is inherent to the disorder of SM, which I think is puzzling to most people (including school admin). In SM many settings are “contaminated “ and thus do not allow dd to speak then. She had not spoken in classroom ever in her life and she’s been in school for so long so it’s much harder mentally for her to speak in those settings. She has gotten comfortable not speaking.

    Dd is continuing therapy over the summer and we are continuing to do our homework re: using techniques to encourage her to speak at restaurants and to new people and she is definitely making progress there. But she doesn’t speak at school (except to her brother and one classmate) where she spends 7 hours a day (actually 9 hours if u include aftercare).l. i feel like that is not going to change unless we implement this fade-in technique with her new teacher.

    I think the hard part here is most people , even educators, are unfamiliar with SM and the effects on a kid - I don’t think most people understand what it must be like to not be able to speak for ~9 hours at a time and not be able to ask for help. She is very smart and reserved so she hides her frustration and anxiety well.

  4. #14
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Also just want to add, thanks all for the input here, it is good food for thought!!

    I should also thank the bbb for recommending to see a therapist for my dd. My DH was reluctant at first..I was the one who researched for SM experts in the area and insisted on trying it. Had to wait several months on waitlist but it was so worth it. Dd’s Anxiety in general had improved so much from last year . DH was blown away how dd talked to therapist in first session. Also - now therapist says at every session dd is teeming with things to tell her, like she has been holding her thoughts in all day. Through all this frustration I guess I have to remind myself I did something right.

    Thanks to our therapist I did find a weeklong drama camp geared for kids with SM and anxiety, so we will be doing that next month. Maybe I can reach out to few of the parents and discuss more in how schools are helping their dc and what they have succeeded in being able to do.
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 05-21-2019 at 12:32 PM.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post
    Thanks to our therapist I did find a weeklong drama camp geared for kids with SM and anxiety, so we will be doing that next month. Maybe I can reach out to few of the parents and discuss more in how schools are helping their dc and what they have succeeded in being able to do.
    I've been following along, but haven't chimed in at all because my kid's issues are totally different.
    HOWEVER, I do think you are on the right track in terms of connecting with other parents. Does your district have a parent advocacy group? We have this group: https://a2pac.wordpress.com/
    There are monthly meetings and a very active facebook group. People ask all sorts of questions in the fb group about how to get the services their kid needs and what avenues are available. There is also a relationship with a non-profit advocacy agency and either the advocate or other parents from the group will sit in on IEP meetings to support parents (take notes, remind them of questions they meant to ask, look official (as noted above), etc.

  6. #16
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Default update on dd's 504 saga

    The drama camp sounds good. Maybe there are other programs she can attend. I came across this one, and maybe there are other experiences she can participate in that are closer to home.

    https://childmind.org/center/brave-buddies/



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  7. #17
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Thanks. I saw that which looked great but all the camps were in New York or Bay Area. There wasn’t a single thing available in state of Texas

    I talked to DH more yeseterday as dd had her therapist appt and he had a chance to talk to therapist a bit. Therapist did mention that school seened to be putting on a bit of a show to try to intimidate us to back down and was very reluctant to even consider doing the fade-in. Therapist says she knows of at least one family that transferred out of the district for this reason. It does sound like we have to go the lawyer route and if that doesn’t work we have to consider this. But this would require us to move out of our house we worked so hard to design , build etc and find and buy another house etc. Plus start dd at a completely new school with no friends at all. I feel nauseous just thinking about it. So we will be totally be doing the lawyer route first. DH was saying it seems like the only way would be to get the district to force the school to do it. Ugh this is so stupid - we are talking about fighting for 45 minutes of a teachers time here, that could determine whether or not dd is able to speak to the teacher during the entire school year.

    I must say that the whole “teacher can’t do it because be legally provided student-free time” during lunch or recess is total BS ...because as DH later reminded me, DS (3rd grade) often has “buddy lunch “ (which is lunch with the teacher in the classroom with 1 friend, while all other students are having lunch in the cafeteria) - and DS gets this at least ONCE A WEEK- either with his own teacher or another teacher (his friend’s teacher). Obviously teacher is giving up her planning time for this or using a sub for lunch duty - and i believe this must be going on every day because I know DS alone goes once a week or more. So i do know that teachers at least in 3rd grade do this - don’t know why principal has put up such a fight. I’m sure DS would happily give up his buddy lunches so that teacher could use that time help my DD. Ugh I had forgotten about this or I would have mentioned this in the meeting.

  8. #18
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Private school, charter or religious school is worth looking at too so you don’t have to move. Some do work well with special considerations despite not having the same legal requirements as public schools. There are probably more options out there than you know. Definitely tap into your local parenting community especially for kids that need those extra School supports. Maybe your therapist knows of some.


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  9. #19
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    Private school, charter or religious school is worth looking at too so you don’t have to move. Some do work well with special considerations despite not having the same legal requirements as public schools. There are probably more options out there than you know. Definitely tap into your local parenting community especially for kids that need those extra School supports. Maybe your therapist knows of some.


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    thanks, that is good point. not having to move would make things a lot easier. much as i believe in and want to support public schools (and this is what attracts many people, including upper income folks to our area actually - very high public school ratings) - i would have no problem with paying for or going to a catholic school for example if it came down to it .the issue would be whether or not they would allow for interventions such as the fade-in for DD and would make accomodations for it.

    IME, catholic schools (and private religious schools in general) were not great for things like ADHD and behavior issues (my brother had to change schools in Kinder for this reason - so growing up we went to separate schools ). though we did have great luck with teacher in Primrose pre-K before DD started school. teacher was really willing to work with DD. in my case, due to the nature of DD's disorder, teachers in general really like being with DD and are willing to do extra things to help her (FTR, i think teachers at our current school are like this too, but are being quashed by the administration). if a private school administration doesn't have the same bureaucratic red tape as public school (plus doesn't have to deal with tons of other kids with severe & disruptive issues, like our school does) then maybe it would be better. i will have to talk to other parents and therapist to get a feel.
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 05-22-2019 at 09:45 AM.

  10. #20
    SnuggleBuggles is online now Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post
    thanks, that is good point. not having to move would make things a lot easier. much as i believe in and want to support public schools (and this is what attracts many people, including upper income folks to our area actually - very high public school ratings) - i would have no problem with paying for or going to a catholic school for example if it came down to it .the issue would be whether or not they would allow for interventions such as the fade-in for DD and would make accomodations for it.

    IME, catholic schools (and private religious schools in general) were not great for things like ADHD and behavior issues (my brother had to change schools in Kinder for this reason - so growing up we went to separate schools ). though we did have great luck with teacher in Primrose pre-K before DD started school. teacher was really willing to work with DD. in my case, due to the nature of DD's disorder, teachers in general really like being with DD and are willing to do extra things to help her (FTR, i think teachers at our current school are like this too, but are being quashed by the administration). if a private school administration doesn't have the same bureaucratic red tape as public school (plus doesn't have to deal with tons of other kids with severe & disruptive issues, like our school does) then maybe it would be better. i will have to talk to other parents and therapist to get a feel.
    Exactly- far less red tape and less likelihood of union regulations. Good luck!

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