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  1. #21
    hbridge is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Definitely look at private schools and speak with an advocate or lawyer about mentioning "out-of-district" placement in a meeting. If they are unable to accommodate the child's needs in the school, the district much place the child in the least restrictive environment. Someone knowledgeable about your state's laws should be able to word this properly. "out of district" placement is expensive, especially when they need to provide transportation on top of tuition. Have a school or two that would be appropriate and have the lawyer/advocate send a letter or give you the wording for a document or meeting.

    I'm guessing if you push hard enough and will cost the district enough money, they will magically find the time to try the "fade-in".

    In the meantime, actually research schools that are more flexible. The therapist should be able to help there. You never know when you might actually need one. It sounds like this school is not going to help much...

  2. #22
    zukeypur is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by ♥ms.pacman♥ View Post
    Also just want to add, thanks all for the input here, it is good food for thought!!

    I should also thank the bbb for recommending to see a therapist for my dd. My DH was reluctant at first..I was the one who researched for SM experts in the area and insisted on trying it. Had to wait several months on waitlist but it was so worth it. Dd’s Anxiety in general had improved so much from last year . DH was blown away how dd talked to therapist in first session. Also - now therapist says at every session dd is teeming with things to tell her, like she has been holding her thoughts in all day. Through all this frustration I guess I have to remind myself I did something right.

    Thanks to our therapist I did find a weeklong drama camp geared for kids with SM and anxiety, so we will be doing that next month. Maybe I can reach out to few of the parents and discuss more in how schools are helping their dc and what they have succeeded in being able to do.
    Would you mind sharing how you found a therapist? I did a search with our insurance for a child therapist who dealt with learning disabilities, anxiety, and ADHD, hoping that some of the therapies used would cross over to SM, but there was no SM search option. We did go see one therapist, but she was a bit odd and kept asking questions that were autism related (trying to fit DD into that category). She wanted us to get DD tested before she starts seeing her, but the lady who does the testing doesn’t take our insurance. I can’t get the office to call me back to tell me exactly what kind of testing she needs so that I can search for someone else to test her.

    I wish I could remember the name of the advocacy group in Austin for children with special needs. I realize your DD hasn’t been categorized as SN, but a phone call from this group could help. I’ll make some phone calls and see what I can find. They were my next step when DD1’s school refused to evaluate her for special ed (despite her having no hands or feet.......because Texas). The school nurse stepped in before I had to go that far.

  3. #23
    zukeypur is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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  4. #24
    PZMommy is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I’m stuck on the fact that if the teacher is willing to give up their time, why is the school fighting it? By contract I am given a duty free recess (20 minutes), and a duty free lunch (40 minutes), plus need to be there at a least 10 minutes before and after the school day. The principal can’t require me to do something on my lunch break, but if I choose to do something on my lunch break that is on me. I would like to think that most teachers would be willing to give up a few recess times or lunch times to help a student. I would look into getting an advocate. I also would wait and talk to the teacher she will have next year and see if the teacher is willing to do this. If they are maybe they can speak up and say that they are willing to give up recess or lunch time, or stay after school, etc.

  5. #25
    niccig is online now Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by PZMommy View Post
    Iím stuck on the fact that if the teacher is willing to give up their time, why is the school fighting it? By contract I am given a duty free recess (20 minutes), and a duty free lunch (40 minutes), plus need to be there at a least 10 minutes before and after the school day. The principal canít require me to do something on my lunch break, but if I choose to do something on my lunch break that is on me. I would like to think that most teachers would be willing to give up a few recess times or lunch times to help a student. I would look into getting an advocate. I also would wait and talk to the teacher she will have next year and see if the teacher is willing to do this. If they are maybe they can speak up and say that they are willing to give up recess or lunch time, or stay after school, etc.
    I agree. I know they canít tell us to do something on lunch break, but I canít remember the last time I didnít work through lunch! I have way too much paperwork and try not to take it home.

    I was hoping they could reach a compromise as itís not a lot of time over a school year. I think some administrators Iíve worked with, would figure out a solution.

    Iím working with a teacher and intervention coordinator right now for one of my students. Heís on an IEP but the accommodations he needs right now arenít written in it as it wasnít an issue before, and I canít get a meeting held as itís end of year for us. So weíre working out a solution for now that works, and Iíll hold the meeting next year to get it written in officially, just in case next years teacher may not be as accommodating - I donít think that will be the case, but I want to have legal might backing me up.


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  6. #26
    PZMommy is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by niccig View Post
    I agree. I know they can’t tell us to do something on lunch break, but I can’t remember the last time I didn’t work through lunch! I have way too much paperwork and try not to take it home.

    I was hoping they could reach a compromise as it’s not a lot of time over a school year. I think some administrators I’ve worked with, would figure out a solution.

    I’m working with a teacher and intervention coordinator right now for one of my students. He’s on an IEP but the accommodations he needs right now aren’t written in it as it wasn’t an issue before, and I can’t get a meeting held as it’s end of year for us. So we’re working out a solution for now that works, and I’ll hold the meeting next year to get it written in officially, just in case next years teacher may not be as accommodating - I don’t think that will be the case, but I want to have legal might backing me up.


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    We had an issue a few years back, where we as a staff agreed to make a detention room 2 days per week at our lunch time. We all agreed to rotate days, and no one was forced to do it. An outside coordinator, who was not even a part of our detention agreement, called the union on the school, and it got shut down really fast because it violated the duty free lunch agreement. So in retrospect I can kind of see a principal not wanting to agree to a teacher doing this, but at the end of the day, it should be up to the teacher.

  7. #27
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by PZMommy View Post
    I’m stuck on the fact that if the teacher is willing to give up their time, why is the school fighting it? By contract I am given a duty free recess (20 minutes), and a duty free lunch (40 minutes), plus need to be there at a least 10 minutes before and after the school day. The principal can’t require me to do something on my lunch break, but if I choose to do something on my lunch break that is on me. I would like to think that most teachers would be willing to give up a few recess times or lunch times to help a student. I would look into getting an advocate. I also would wait and talk to the teacher she will have next year and see if the teacher is willing to do this. If they are maybe they can speak up and say that they are willing to give up recess or lunch time, or stay after school, etc.
    thank you - this is what i don't get either. i wasn't at the previous mtg, but DH says that DD's teacher was there at that mtg and was saying at the meeting she was willing to do the fade-in (just as we had discussed with her few days earlier), but then vice principal stepped in and said no, legally teachers are required to have that kid-free planning time every day. we asked then at this mtg this week about the week before school with the new teacher and it was a hard no, that teachers only get 1 week before school starts for prep in the school and it's very busy. again, we are talking about a total of 45 minutes here (three sessions of 15 minutes each). during a time where there would no other students to worry about supervising (since that was brought up as a main issue).

    and yeah,as i mentioned before, i know that teachers willingly give up their lunchbreak to have lunch with 1-2 students in the classroom (when they earn enough points that day, for things like good behavior/finishing their work etc) - my DS gets this all the time (like at least every other week, and then other times he gets picked by a friend who got it, so he goes at least once a week).

    i don't know the more i think about it, the more i begin to think it's all because they don't see the value of doing it (or the seriousness of SM) - given they likely mostly deal with students who are really struggling academically and/or have more obvious disabilities. and thus we somehow come across as overzealous helicopter parents asking for specialized, excessive treatment and are going to push for doing this every week throughout the school year. i wish there was a way to convey how limiting SM can be and how difficult it can be to treat as kid gets older. people in general don't understand SM, which makes things hard. apparently 1 in 140 kids have it, but most people have never heard of it.

    i am listening to podcasts re: SM and one specialist was saying that 504's were mainly for accomodations and to get interventions like the fade-in you often have to have an IEP. sounds like IEP are much difficult to get becasue they require proving that the SM is affecting her learning . DD gets excellent grades and is not disruptive at all so i can tell that would be a hard sell. But, could totally make the argument that it is affecting her social development which it TOTALLY IS. she cannot do group projects and i can tell she intentionally limits her activities to ones where she doesn't have to interact with others or speak.

    it sounds like our therapist is prepared for getting stuff together for trying to get IEP which i think is good.
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 05-22-2019 at 10:57 PM.

  8. #28
    ♥ms.pacman♥ is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by zukeypur View Post
    Would you mind sharing how you found a therapist? I did a search with our insurance for a child therapist who dealt with learning disabilities, anxiety, and ADHD, hoping that some of the therapies used would cross over to SM, but there was no SM search option. We did go see one therapist, but she was a bit odd and kept asking questions that were autism related (trying to fit DD into that category). She wanted us to get DD tested before she starts seeing her, but the lady who does the testing doesn’t take our insurance. I can’t get the office to call me back to tell me exactly what kind of testing she needs so that I can search for someone else to test her.

    I wish I could remember the name of the advocacy group in Austin for children with special needs. I realize your DD hasn’t been categorized as SN, but a phone call from this group could help. I’ll make some phone calls and see what I can find. They were my next step when DD1’s school refused to evaluate her for special ed (despite her having no hands or feet.......because Texas). The school nurse stepped in before I had to go that far.
    thanks. on finding a therapist, i actually went on facebook and asked in various groups about therapists specializing in SM. i got only two comments/recommendations (even on busy active parenting groups, most people didn't know what SM is, so i got few responses)- then i googled SM therapist and one of them turned out to be one of the names recommended and her office was close by. plus she had a great website discussing SM. i then reached out and got on the waitlist. she is really great. since i'm on the high-deductible plan i just pay for it with my HSA card.

    and wow, how frustrating to have to go thru all that with jumping through hoops just to find a therapist and settle the insurance. i can see how u can feel in the Twilight Zone with things like that - so frustrating. the healthcare system here is just so broken.

    also - thanks for the link!!
    Last edited by ♥ms.pacman♥; 05-22-2019 at 11:06 PM.

  9. #29
    petesgirl is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Ok, so I regularly have random questions for my child's teacher. Sometimes I enail beforehand and ask if I come after school, sometimes I just pop in after school and we discuss my question in 30 seconds and then just chat for 10 more minutes. Could this be something like that, if next year's teacher agrees to it, where you just schedule a 'parent meeting ' and then use it for the technique? Do you think it could be done without the admins knowing that is what the teacher is really doing?
    Another idea, if your school does in person parent/teacher conferences every quarter, could you use your alloted time for this, since your DD'S grades probably need a lot of attention as she is a good student?
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  10. #30
    niccig is online now Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by PZMommy View Post
    . So in retrospect I can kind of see a principal not wanting to agree to a teacher doing this, but at the end of the day, it should be up to the teacher.
    Or if this teacher agrees, is there then pressure for other teachers OPís DD interacts with, or next yearís teacher. I still think they could work out a compromise. This isnít much time really and could save time in the classroom later.



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